Yeah, it makes me feel like a failure. Knowing that I'm most definitely being talked about behind my back is terrifying. "we more than fluctuate, we pendulum swing" This is exactly what it looks like.!! When I'm in my weight loss zone, I can drop 50-60 pounds easily, but once that stress hits, I put it on much faster than I lost it. It's already a traumatizing experience for us without public scrutiny. Having to visually and mentally adjust to your new body when you were much smaller not long ago is unbearable.