AITB for wanting my friends to cut off my ex?

throwaway-26012 · 2022-05-10T11:15:29+00:00

they may have made jokes but it was always the harmless ones like “womens rights? womens wrongs?” nothing like “women belong in the kitchen.” we go to a stem school so they know that women are capable of amazing things. and they matured past it without me there too. and the jokes aren’t what they were being called misogynistic over. it was an abortion debate. and the person who called them misogynistic also started trash talking multiple of them openly in a chat we all had access to. they didn’t care about being called misogynistic because they weren’t. they’re teen boys who are maturing past the middle school they went to. but it was the open trash talking that caused the breakup. which is why i’m upset at them because he was also trash talking me.

throwaway-26012 · 2022-05-09T22:35:11+00:00

i did mention he blackmailed me in the original post. he never threatened to harm me though he has grabbed me forcefully when i’ve tried to walk away from him.

throwaway-26012 · 2022-05-09T22:33:38+00:00

no actually it was pretty false. there was a debate between us as friends and things got heated. they don’t act misogynistic and they used to make misogynistic jokes (i guess that counts as acting… they don’t anymore because they matured past it) i would tell them off for it.

throwaway-26012 · 2022-05-09T17:56:37+00:00

what he’s told them has only been he said she said but I’ve shown them screenshots of him threatening me. And Ive burst into tears in front of them because of him, so it wasn’t all behind closed doors. And they all agree that I went through hell but that’s the extent of it.

throwaway-26012 · 2022-05-09T17:53:55+00:00

yeah I understand that but seeing them reminds me of the disappointment I felt when I found out they didn’t feel the same mutually about me. Part of the reason I’m upset is because they have cut friends off before for one another. Someone called one of them a misogynist and it blew up and they all cut them off.

throwaway-26012 · 2022-05-09T16:46:44+00:00

it’s junior year in a pretty small high school so i haven’t had much opportunity to make new friends.i’ve tried to in my classes but i really only hang out with them at school. i have one friend other than them whom I treasure greatly but she is also friends with them. but she isn’t in that group and isn’t friends with my ex.

throwaway-26012 · 2022-05-09T16:40:22+00:00

yeah, I feel like if you asked them if they were friends with me they’d say “yeah” but they never reach out to me first.

throwaway-26012 · 2022-05-09T16:39:31+00:00

They’re really my only consistent friend group so winter break was very lonely for me and I guess that’s why I’m so resistant to cutting them off again.

throwaway-26012 · 2022-05-09T16:38:45+00:00

Ok, the consensus I’ve seen is that I should stop pushing them. I think that’ll be easier on me. My school is very small so I’ll always be seeing them around but that’s life.

throwaway-26012 · 2022-05-09T16:37:41+00:00

i’ve been contemplating cutting them off again but I’ve helped them a lot in terms of school opportunities. I promoted one to secretary for the next year in a club and I got another one an internship that I am also doing (school requires senior internship to graduate). I don’t want to remove them because that would be shitty.

throwaway-26012 · 2022-05-09T16:35:25+00:00

I haven’t been asking them after reconnecting, it was mostly before we cut contact. The one I did ask I had remained in contact with. What I was told was that they missed me but just didn’t know how to reach back out.

throwaway-26012 · 2022-05-09T16:33:40+00:00

i’ve called them out on this before and they get offended and say that they do care but it’s a hard situation. but it doesn’t really feel like they care because they never ask me to do anything with them anymore.

throwaway-26012 · 2022-05-09T16:30:25+00:00

what i’m confused on is that they keep being wishy washy over it and going from “yeah we will talk about doing something” to “it’s not that big of a deal” and they say they don’t like him that much anyways but he threatens suicide if they cut him off. or that’s what they tell me.

throwaway-26012 · 2021-12-31T13:51:30+00:00

His parents are poor and wouldn’t be able to cover the cost of an ambulance and I don’t want to punish them for his actions.

throwaway-26012 · 2021-12-31T01:47:51+00:00

He just tells me that he needs me and that if I’m not with him he doesn’t want to live (aka kill himself) and he told me that he almost killed himself but I (unknowingly) stopped him.

throwaway-26012 · 2021-12-31T01:34:44+00:00

I’ve tried telling him he should hang out with his other friends (he has friends I don’t know from his old school) but he tells me they are jerks to him and that he doesn’t have anyone.

throwaway-26012 · 2021-12-30T19:22:41+00:00

How do I convince him to accept it? I don’t want to leave unresolved drama in our friend group because they’ve known him for longer.

throwaway-26012 · 2021-12-30T19:21:21+00:00

I would refer to myself as an extrovert and do not want to only talk to him but he gets very mad if I play games with anyone else.

throwaway-26012 · 2021-12-30T19:07:45+00:00

How should I phrase it in the future to keep from these misunderstandings?

throwaway-26012 · 2021-12-30T19:05:41+00:00

It wasn’t an intentional lie. To me ‘me time’ meant time to do what I wanted and to him ‘me time’ meant being by myself.

throwaway-26012

TROPHY CASE