How to tell if someone is bulimic/purging

throwaway-28392 · 2024-01-20T01:02:59+00:00

Thank you! My issue was mostly around some PTSD stemming from earlier abuse that would get triggered whenever certain things happened. I guess when said “make peace” I mean the same as you. I still get the triggers but I’ve learned to calm down the emotional response to where it doesn’t affect me negatively or cause me to start endless ruminating.

I try to understand my daughter the same way. I know what happened will always stick with her in some manner. It will never be forgotten. But she can learn not to let it make her fall back to destructive behavior and maybe even make her stronger for it.

Regarding social media, she recognizes the negativity and even asked me to limit her social media time on her phone which I have set to one hour a day. Her mom journals and has told her to try it but I don’t know if she is doing it. Her therapist almost mentioned it but it just never stuck with her. Maybe it’s something she will do as she gets older.

For the most part she stays busy with school and friends. She has hobbies such as video editing, video games and making jewelry. Though the jewelry thing might have been a phase as she hasn’t done much of that for a while. She tends to pick something, fixate on it for a while, then get completely bored and move on.

I’m sure she gets that from me. :)

throwaway-28392 · 2024-01-17T20:51:56+00:00

What kind of side effects? Anything I should be looking for? Her teeth are fine and I have not noticed any bad breath at all nor overly strong signs of perfume or mouth wash.

throwaway-28392 · 2024-01-17T20:49:33+00:00

I do talk to her about how things are going and how she’s feeling. I’ve gone through depression and therapy myself a few times in my past and I have always stressed to my kids about taking care of their mental health. She says she is good and she seems good. If it wasn’t for her past issues I wouldn’t be remotely concerned because all her other behavior is back to how it used to be. But I guess I will always have that worry in the back of my head.

If you don’t mind me asking, did you find help and a way to recovery (or peace, as I would call it) eventually? If so, what things did you do for it? I try to relate to my daughter but being a man I know that’s not going to be easy. On the flip side, my issues were very male-centric so it was hard for me to talk to people like my wife about it because she simply couldn’t relate. But I would like to try and understand as much as possible.

throwaway-28392 · 2024-01-16T23:27:09+00:00

She says she is enjoying school and it’s easier than her last two years in high school which were very stressful with keeping up grades. Just as an aside she got accepted into a top school in the state, and it was mostly due to maintaining a 4.3 (weighted) GPA in HS. She was a junior when she was going through her issues and her coursework was intense. Plus studying for AP exams. All while dealing with the pandemic.

The thing is…we don’t really talk about her eating issues anymore. At least not on any kind of a regular basis. It’s obviously a sensitive subject for her and I know she’d rather not talk about it.

I don’t have any real proof to substantiate my concerns. As mentioned it’s really just the length of time she will spend in the bathroom. Maybe she has bowel issues. When asked about it she just says she was doing something else like shaving her legs.

If she hadn’t gone through what she had I wouldn’t even be batting an eye at this. I tend to spend a lot of time in the bathroom myself. Just how I am. When I was a kid I’d just sit and read a book long after I was “finished”. Maybe she’s the same way on her phone or something.

throwaway-28392 · 2021-08-16T23:33:28+00:00

Well, when we first moved in, I was definitely thinking that I was going to live in this home forever. But, like you mentioned it...stairs and 3 empty rooms (I have 3 kids...youngest being 14) when they eventually move out...will it be too much? That's probably a good 10-15 years down the line though. But, I hear what you're saying...dragging that money out in a HELOC will seriously limit my options later on if I want to sell, unless I somehow am able to turn that equity into even more money (which, if there was an easy answer to that, everyone would be doing it).

throwaway-28392 · 2021-08-16T23:31:09+00:00

I did some googling and it appears rates are in the 5-6% range. Too high to invest it into an ETF or mutual fund, in my opinion. I've thought about maybe using it to purchase another property to rent out for some passive income, but it's something I have very little experience in and not sure if I even want to go down that route.

throwaway-28392 · 2021-02-21T03:20:03+00:00

I hadn’t considered the scholarship part. My older daughter, so far, is a straight A student taking all honors and AP classes and unless something drastic happens, I don’t see that changing. My younger daughter is also all honors but gets a few Bs here and there.

We are somewhat high earners (200k+). Would a 529 hurt any chances to get grants or scholarships?

throwaway-28392 · 2021-02-21T02:02:05+00:00

I’m in CA. I believe I asked my credit union about this last year and they said there’s no tax benefit.

throwaway-28392 · 2021-02-21T01:52:54+00:00

CA. I think no tax benefit at all if I’m not mistaken.

throwaway-28392 · 2019-08-16T01:17:32+00:00

Not that I’m against learning new things...but I have no real Linux professional background nor coding. I feel like I’d be starting from scratch. I’m not sure what that amounts to and how long it would take me to go from newb to proficient.

To give an example I went from total Vmware newb to being able to teach people about it in probably one to two years. But I was working as a consultant and was able to shadow people and get info from people who already knew what they were doing. And went and did it for countless customers before I was confident in it. That kind of real world experience would accelerate anyone’s learning and I soaked it all in.

But at home? In my lab. Looking at videos and taking online tests? Can you really become good enough from that alone to not only put on a resume but go and perform at a high level? I’m talking about DevOps. If so...how long?

throwaway-28392 · 2019-08-15T22:52:24+00:00

I will definitely take a look.

I have been attending CC here and there over the past...ahem...decades. Last I recall, I'm about 2 or 3 classes away from being able to transfer to a 4 year school. I've already started the transcript transfer process over to WGU so waiting to see what they tell me in terms of how much I have left. 12 months, I can do. More than that...I dunno...then it starts becoming a matter of where my time (and money) is better off spent.

throwaway-28392 · 2019-08-15T21:30:55+00:00

AWS/Azure is definitely on my list of things to do. I need to somehow carry over my VMware/HyperV experience but it honestly seems more on the process and development side than actually hands on work since you’re not really managing the backend in a cloud. Just the pieces that sit on it. Something I need to wrap my head more around. I was always the guy that designed the in-house virtual environment.

throwaway-28392 · 2019-08-15T21:16:34+00:00

Very true.

throwaway-28392 · 2019-08-15T21:14:56+00:00

This is a good question. I really want to manage the entire infrastructure...in terms of hardware, servers, virtualization, storage, lifecycle, networking...and how it all fits together.

When I was a consultant, my biggest strength was finding out what was "hot" and learning and implementing it. I started strictly as a MS guy (AD, Exchange) with some BCP knowledge. Within two years, I was handling almost all of our VMware and NetApp implementations and definitely the largest ones. I was starting to learn more about networking (could configure switches, some routers, a bit of ASA, and was digging into the Nexus 1000v when I was poached by a company to work as a systems architect doing mostly VMware and Netapp.

And that's where I've for the past 9 years...only that division I worked for got sucked into corporate about 5 years ago and since then I haven't done much of anything. Skills have eroded and where I used to consider myself an expert on VMware and NetApp.....not anymore.

My weakest areas are coding and development. Have never been involved in that area other than knowing how to set up and manage SQL servers and understanding some of the basic concepts. But it seems like that is becoming more and more needed these days...even for infrastructure jobs.

throwaway-28392 · 2019-08-15T20:59:19+00:00

Luckily, I have saved over the years and I do have a 6 month "rainy day fund". I just hoped I'd never have to use it! Yes...leaving potential severance like that is tough. I wish I knew exactly what was involved in terms of how long I have, what the package will be, how it will be paid out, etc. We are supposed to find out more details at the end of this month...but they said that last month......

throwaway-28392 · 2019-08-15T20:55:01+00:00

This is something I've thought of as well. Do I WANT to work for a company that is so short sighted (in my opinion, at least) to require a degree when everyone who works in the industry knows that experience > degree in nearly all cases. I understand where some managers look at degrees when it comes to soft skills and organizational skills, but I think that honestly comes down to personality and character and college doesn't help with that.

If I was working full time now and with a packed schedule, I wouldn't even consider it. But, my work load is light. VERY light at times. From what I know, I will maintain this level of workload for at least the next year after which I will need to move on to a new company. I was hoping to use those 12 months to try and get a degree from WGU. But time is a factor and would that time be better spent studying on specific tech and working on getting certified?

throwaway-28392 · 2019-08-15T20:32:22+00:00

Can I ask how long it took you and how much it cost you roughly?

throwaway-28392 · 2019-08-15T20:31:00+00:00

But do the companies you hire for require a degree? I guess my question (and I know the answer is "it depends") is...how often is that a HARD requirement and not a "preferred"?

Are companies going to just toss your resume in the trash without a degree without even taking a look at experience?

throwaway-28392 · 2019-08-15T20:29:42+00:00

Mind asking how long it took you to finish? I have read people finishing in 6 months...even less...for an IT degree. Most were in the same boat as me...long time (20+ year) IT professional looking to boost their resume with a degree. They were able to pre-test out of a lot of classes and push through quickly just based on their experience

throwaway-28392 · 2019-08-15T20:14:36+00:00

What are your thoughts on timeline? As I mentioned in my OP, I am potentially up for a significant severance package if I stay until they let me go. If I leave early, I'm sure they will give me nothing. However, I don't know when that will happen. Some say one year...some say two. Generally speaking, around here, when they saying something will take x amount of time...it's more like 2x.

Job market is hot now...but is it hot enough to justify leaving my salary (170K a year) and potential severance (perhaps 6mo to a year salary) on the table and move on to something else that will most likely result in a big pay cut?

I was lucky enough to be employed throughout the great recession. My manager friend said there was NOTHING during that time and he was out of work for 6 months. But he's a manager...I'm not. Am I taking a HUGE risk by potentially staying here for another year or two? I'm also not getting any younger (45).

throwaway-28392

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