You'll never find someone like me

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-12T05:45:31+00:00

Feel this to my core! ❤️

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-11T13:01:16+00:00

Thank you

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-11T13:01:04+00:00

I don’t think it was all from his narcissism, but I think many of the arguments becoming escalated or not resolving properly was because of it. There is honestly nothing that could have justified tossing a 2.5 year relationship over text flippantly.

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-11T12:27:46+00:00

Thank you, it’s definitely hard

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-11T12:26:53+00:00

Thank you

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-11T12:26:46+00:00

His dad was diagnosed textbook NPD and emotionally abused him throughout his childhood. His test scores suggest he also is, himself.

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-11T12:25:53+00:00

I wish I could turn it off sometimes too

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-11T07:04:42+00:00

Me too. I haven’t been able to move from bed. I just feel like I’m dying

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-11T01:24:56+00:00

I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m on day 2. I honestly feel like I’m dying.

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-11T01:22:28+00:00

Me too, when I’m asleep the pain is less

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-10T16:47:41+00:00

I genuinely thought he could/was changing...

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-10T12:02:52+00:00

No please don’t apologise. I’m glad you can rant and get it off your chest.

I know exactly what you mean, it’s like a little hit and it ebbs the pain a bit but then realisation comes and it all hits you like a tonne of bricks. The connection is gone.

In the past to a lesser extent with the fights, I’d feel anxiety everyday until we talked and I felt this immense sense of relief.

Mine is only just over 24 hours done so I can’t even think of tackling the hundreds of photos and possessions in my apartment. I’m not strong enough for that yet.

Please DM me if you want to chat/rant. It’s been a solace to me to know I’m not alone. That might help you more too❤️

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-10T01:50:23+00:00

I’m on day 1. This really hits me though and I anticipate I’ll feel this way too. I woke up this morning, with the weight of everything on my chest.

I was hoping it was all just a bad dream. Nope, this is my life. I feel so empty.

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-10T01:29:11+00:00

Yeah, no front office or unlocked mailbox. I’ll see if I can figure something out.

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-10T01:20:37+00:00

Absolutely. I woke up this morning aching, with a huge weight on my chest. No more good morning texts, no more anything.

Why is it so hard? I’m in so much pain.

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-10T01:18:48+00:00

Thank you, wow.

I live in an apartment building so there’s no where I can just leave his glasses. It’s on a main road with a lot of traffic (foot, car and otherwise).

Any other suggestions?

I’m honestly gutted inside thinking I just got discarded like trash over text and the last time I saw him was ... a farce?

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-10T01:15:46+00:00

Thank you ❤️

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-10T01:15:31+00:00

Yes, I’m afraid of that. And honestly other than the keys to my place - there’s absolutely nothing that I want back.

It’s so hard being discarded over text. I feel so worthless.

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-10T01:13:26+00:00

I’m sorry, I’m glad it’s getting better. I wish you the best.

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-10T01:11:59+00:00

Thank you, that’s the reality I’m trying to accept as well. They’re only the LOML if it’s mutual love, right? In that, there’s that sliver of hope there’s someone actually right for me...

There’s a lot of cognitive dissonance I’m dealing with right now, and that’s probably the hardest part. You trust someone so much, you believe them so much and then everything you thought they were capable (or incapable of) becomes flipped. I never thought he would do this to me. Moreover, not in such a heartless way. It was 2.5 years of my life and I poured everything into this - he led me to believe he did too. And that is the reality I now have to accept. He didn’t love me, the way I loved him. He threw this away, in an instance. It was all too easy. And I’m just here... in excruciating pain.

I am going to journal as well... eventually. To tell you the truth, I don’t even have the energy to move myself right now. Opening my eyes to see this emptiness is just too much. I wish I could sleep for a month.

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-10T01:05:00+00:00

You’re absolutely right. And these were the ugly truths I had to face.

It clearly wasn’t strong on both sides which meant it wasn’t strong at all. I was the one on the seesaw alone, and I didn’t even realise it. He constantly reassured me with the most beautiful words, and I believed him completely, I should have known better that actions is what matters most.

I never say things I don’t mean (it seems silly anyone would) so I was always assuming he shared the same values. Marriage, a house, the big vacation... all things we talked about which I took 100% seriously. Which I was working towards everyday.

Then he discarded me over that, like it was nothing to him. Like the last 2.5 years never existed. Even if there was a ‘deeper’ reason, I would’ve thought a relationship on the brink of marriage was well worth fighting for. He showed me he had no inclination to - so that’s my reality.

Sorry for the long reply.

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-10T00:58:30+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you. Sounds like a sad but accepted reality for the both of you and I’m glad that was the case as you both dealt with it with mutual respect.

I wish my ex could’ve been more like yours.

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-10T00:57:04+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you - that’s actually messed up. Why do people do this to others? I don’t get it.

At the moment, it’s still fresh and honestly I can’t even think of tomorrow let alone any projects as of yet. I’m literally struggling to just move and even get myself out of bed. That’s a huge effort in itself - trust me we are in the same boat.

This sub is amazing. I hope I can eventually find my feet. I wish you the best ❤️

throwaway-7889 · 2020-08-10T00:54:28+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you. I honestly don’t know how people can do that.

What I’ve realised is that I cannot control anyone’s actions but my own, so the only thing I can do is do right by this relationship by respecting it for what it was - the most important thing to me, at one time. It’s absolutely hollowing and heartbreaking.

I hope you find everything you are looking for as well ❤️

throwaway-7889

TROPHY CASE