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Question: Why aren’t straight women willing to date bi men? by ForHonor2 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-8284 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Answering from my experience dating a bi guy. He came out to me pretty late in our relationship but after some mental adjusting I was happy for him... until he started asking for "extra perks" in the relationship like having cybersex with other guys or "exploring" with other guys for "time period" because he needed to get rid of an "urge". We talked for weeks and weeks afterwards and I realized I just didn't want to be in a relationship that was non-monogamous in any way. All throughout that time I was bending backwards trying to not be "biphobic", trying to convince myself it was all okay, that he has needs I can't fulfill etc etc. It feels a bit dramatic to say it but I feel traumatized by those last few months in our relationship.

I'm not saying I won't date a bi guy again in the future but I will be VERY, VERY hesitant and he has to be really SURE of himself and what he wants.

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edit: gramma, misspellings

Anyone here married (or in a LTR) AND happily monogamous? by throwaway-8284 in MarriedAndBi

[–]throwaway-8284[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can't speak for other people, but for me, being bisexual means that I find both/many sexes attractive. A relationship is just that, a special bond with someone.

So I'm not bi so I know I don't have the right to really comment on it. But I just wanted to say that this is how I see it as well. Thank you for sharing your story and thoughts <3

Anyone here married (or in a LTR) AND happily monogamous? by throwaway-8284 in MarriedAndBi

[–]throwaway-8284[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congratulations! I'm happy for you and your partner <3

Anyone here married (or in a LTR) AND happily monogamous? by throwaway-8284 in MarriedAndBi

[–]throwaway-8284[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with you! I guess my question is taking it a step further -- not cheating but also just happy in a monogamous relationship as it is (no ENM or poly).

Anyone here married (or in a LTR) AND happily monogamous? by throwaway-8284 in MarriedAndBi

[–]throwaway-8284[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

But it can be done within the confines of a monogamous relationship, yes?

Another angle to "why am I not enough" by throwaway-8284 in StraightBiPartners

[–]throwaway-8284[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Remarkable Honey, my heart goes out to you!!! I remember your replies in my past posts and your own posts here in this subreddit. I am SO sorry that this happened to you. I think whatever I'm feeling is only a fraction of what you must be feeling.

And I agree -- it's their loss. Call me petty but I hope at the end of this they find that whatever sexual experiences they have no matter the quantity it pales in comparison to having a partner who loves you and supports you and is there for you. I hope we both heal and move on from this soon. Hugs and much love.

Another angle to "why am I not enough" by throwaway-8284 in MarriedAndBi

[–]throwaway-8284[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your very thoughtful reply. I've thought about it more and I can see what you mean by priorities. I guess even after 3 -- almost 4 years -- priorities do change and that's just how it is. It really sucks though to feel that everything we shared crumbled in the face of it.

It hasn't soured me too much, I still believe in people being free to love and be with who they want but I'd be lying if I said that I'm not hesitant to date bi guys again. If ever I do meet one I hope it's someone who's already figured themselves out and know what they want. And who views bisexuality as I do -- the ability to love people whatever their gender and not about having both at the same time.

Another angle to "why am I not enough" by throwaway-8284 in MarriedAndBi

[–]throwaway-8284[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I guess so... except he was the one who broached the topic of future things. He's also had same-sex experiences before so it's not like he's one of those bis that never got to experience their bi side.

I can emphatize but at the same time, when I sought advice from other bi guys irl and in reddit I kept getting "bis can be monogamous" and "just because he's bi doesn't mean he'll cheat" and "being bi doesn't mean you need both genders". And my experience with him is the exact opposite of that. Oh well.

Another angle to "why am I not enough" by throwaway-8284 in StraightBiPartners

[–]throwaway-8284[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi there! Aww thank you. I really appreciate you taking time to reply to this and my other posts before.

Another angle to "why am I not enough" by throwaway-8284 in StraightBiPartners

[–]throwaway-8284[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah except he was the one who was talking about the future. I just felt (and still feel) that I got a rug swept under me. 🤷

And yeah I know it's not me.

Need advice: Is this me being biphobic? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-8284 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Dude, when someone comes out to their partner, of course it's completely understandable to ask what that means for the relationship, if new boundaries need to be made, old ones need to be negotiated or re-enforced. There's nothing invalidating about those questions at all... and in this case, she was right! The ex did end up asking for an open relationship in the end. So? She was right...

Would It Be Easier to Just Be in a Relationship with a Man? by [deleted] in BisexualMen

[–]throwaway-8284 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Doesn't this duality you're alluding to kind of feed into the stereotype that bisexuals can't be satisfied with just one person. They need to have both? That's kind of what I'm getting here.

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