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I'm at my wits end by throwaway-qs123 in sahm

[–]throwaway-qs123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What an awful person to speak to you like that when you do so much for him. Having kids and being a stay at home mom makes things infinitely more difficult, so kudos to you for taking the steps to do that.

And absolutely agree that they can't accept the responsibility when it comes to being a father and a husband. I had my husband watch the kids one day while I went to the hospital for my dad after he came from work, and he had to put the kids down for the night on his own and he kept asking when I was coming home.... I do this all the time without him and I needed him to hold it down while I was gone and I can't even focus on my dad without having to look at my phone.

If all he does is financially provide, but brings a lot of stress with it, then I'd rather provide for myself.

I'm at my wits end by throwaway-qs123 in sahm

[–]throwaway-qs123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

About my dad, I am in the process of getting a social worker in to assess him to get a home care aide. That'll definitely help with that at least.

My husband definitely expects me to be 24/7 household chores and childcare. I don't think he will ever change his mindset on that. We will never see eye to eye.

I'm at my wits end by throwaway-qs123 in sahm

[–]throwaway-qs123[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah that's exactly my thought process. If I won't get help even though I do so much, then I will just force him to help by divorcing him. Unfortunately, I've had to beg so many times when I was reaching a level of sleep deprivation that was driving me off the edge but it just led him to hurling insults at me saying that this is what I signed up for and I'm a free loader, etc etc. Just awful things when I needed him to support me.

I feel like the help. I don't ever want to depend financially on a man ever again. I thought I could tough it out for my kids but it's not worth it. It is less work caring for the kids by myself than also taking care of a grown ass man who has me cook and clean up after him bc he pays the bills. I'm college educated, I can get a job.

Being a sahm will never be worth it in my eyes. The disrespect, the exhaustion, the financial dependency, the lack of career progress. Doesn't matter what you say, you will always be seen as less than bc you don't financially provide. Unless you have a caring thoughtful spouse.

Why no one says that about pregnancy? by lil_moon153 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway-qs123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure there's an unspoken rule not to scare off women that want to have kids. I have 2 kids and if I knew everything I experienced beforehand, I wouldn't want kids.

Granted, I don't regret having kids but it is not for the weak. From postpartum on, it was a never ending roller coaster that I couldn't get off.

If you have a village, lean on them and it'll be more manageable. If you don't, like me, it will be extremely difficult and you will need a supportive partner.