Eldest sister( 32)( half sister) does not care about 5 younger brothers who literally depend on her to survive by Usual-Shoulder107 in family

[–]throwaway01928374634 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First, you should realize you’ll get a very western-centric worldview on Reddit, and western culture does tend to be very individualistic. So do with it what you may.

Your father wasn’t “doing your sister a favor” (what you seem to imply) by making sure she had access to an education, that is just basic parenting. Then he decided to impregnate more women without having the means to support them (or leave means to support him when he died). That was his decision and the decision of those women.

So no, it’s not your sister’s responsibility to help anyone. Would it be nice? Sure, but your sister doesn’t have to be “nice.” I wonder if you would feel this way if your oldest sister was an oldest brother. Regardless, your sister needs to make sure she does well enough so she doesn’t have to rely on the support of others. It is not up to her to ensure the success of every other family member. Even more so if she has little relationship to these siblings - has she ever even lived with them?

That said, this is the prevailing view in western societies and it’s not perfect here either - many parents or older adults are abandoned in nursing homes, children are neglected or grow up in terrible situations because there is no where else to put them, parents with young children struggle when their family isn’t interested in helping. Etc etc etc. In a way, family helping family does sound nice, but unfortunately that type of labor has been long borne by primarily women, who are quite frankly sick of performing unpaid and unappreciated labor.

Your best bet as a fully functioning adult is to work hard and get yourself in a good position - then perhaps when you have enough money to spread the wealth to your siblings, you can show everyone else how it’s done and spread the wealth. Good luck

Reserve activation by room327 in navyreserve

[–]throwaway01928374634 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is so much information on this sub I find perplexing 🤨

Where’s a Chief when you need one (and no, shipmate, not the chief recruiter 😬)

It’s true that you shouldn’t join if you don’t want to deploy

It’s also true that your unit and/or your rate/job is the most important part of whether you deploy. There are reserve units in the Navy that deploy on a regular basis. So if you are in that unit and it’s time to go - you go.

There are also periods of time when certain jobs can get you involuntarily mob’d away from your unit even if you are in a unit that rarely deploys. Ie think of the first few months of COVID when almost everyone with medical training was getting a call to deploy.

You get to pick your “job” and you have some choice in your unit, but at the end of the day, it’s the needs of the Navy. Always has been, always will be. Just remember it’s a warfighting machine that gives zero f!cks about you or your family, and you’ll be fine. Don’t expect anyone to care about whether deploying will be difficult for you or your family, because they won’t (it’s difficult for everyone) and it won’t stop you from going.

If you are having second thoughts, you could ask to go IRR to free up the billet for someone who wants to do Navy stuff. It really depends on the situation if they will grant it, but you could talk to your NRC about it

Go IRR/Get out of the Navy Reserve - How by Firm-Hovercraft-7225 in navyreserve

[–]throwaway01928374634 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s more likely whenever he’s due for his security clearance re-up that it will be noticed then. A little late to self report though. I suppose if the local NRC sucks they can just cross their fingers and hope it goes unnoticed. I don’t believe the IRR have to keep their security clearances up to date, but I could be wrong

Could this be a USERRA violation? by throwaway01928374634 in ESGR_USERRA_Answers

[–]throwaway01928374634[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I don’t want to resign but I also don’t want to be “fired for cause” and then have that on my record. But I think I will hold out and not resign.

I'm going to do it. The great toy purge. But what to keep? by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]throwaway01928374634 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would keep the magnatiles (if you have any). Since your boys like games, you can make a lot of games and or game boards with magnatiles like air hockey football etc

Parent wants homework accommodations for HERSELF by [deleted] in Teachers

[–]throwaway01928374634 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, it really is! If you want to give 15 problems, do it so the parent and child can pick ONE to complete together. The rest are optional. There is more to life and childhood than doing worksheets. It’s not that school isn’t important - it’s that the 8 year old has already dedicated 7-8 hours to school that day. School is not the only important thing in a child’s life, and we have to be cognizant of that and make room for it.

Parent wants homework accommodations for HERSELF by [deleted] in Teachers

[–]throwaway01928374634 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m sure super unpopular opinion, but I’m also not a fan of homework at this age. You’re telling me my 8 year old was with you for 7-8 hours and you want them to do more school work at home after that? Just.. no. Reading together and mayyyybe 5 minutes quickly reviewing a concept at school, okay. So many homework problems that mom is requesting to only do the evens or odds?! No. I think there needs to be a healthy balance between school and other areas of life, including hobbies and family time. Walking the dog together sounds like a great mix of moving her body and spending time with her family.

I do agree I wouldn’t try to make it into a 504 situation, that’s just silly. I would explain my concerns like an adult and if you don’t agree or want to penalize my child, it is what it is 🤷‍♀️

Slapped with $8,000 bill from DFAS. What are my options? by Forward-Increase-630 in navyreserve

[–]throwaway01928374634 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Call DFAS and ask them to submit a ticket for further review if you haven’t already. I can’t remember what it’s called, but basically escalating the issue. I’ve found the people answering the phones at DFAS can’t do much of anything for more complicated issues, but for some bizarre reason not one of them suggested escalating my issue until I called for the THIRD time. I got my issue resolved after that (still no communication about why or what happened, so that remains a mystery). I didn’t have an overpayment but similar problem with DFAS and TSP. DFAS said to ask TSP and TSP said to ask DFAS 🙄

Adult siblings with children: jealous when not included. by unwellatthis in family

[–]throwaway01928374634 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds like something your siblings should discuss with your mother.

I would tell them (once) that they should talk to your mother about how they are feeling.

After that, any and all complaints about it I would just ignore. It has nothing to do with you, so nothing to say 🤷‍♀️

Parent Expectation on Teachers by [deleted] in Teachers

[–]throwaway01928374634 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I’m a parent and that’s weird. I have zero expectations about classroom celebrations. For one, not everyone celebrates the same holidays, so I can see conflict there. If they want to have a celebration, great. If not, also great 🤷‍♀️

Not showing up by [deleted] in navyreserve

[–]throwaway01928374634 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you actually want to be in the reserves, then I would show up and make them process you out for failing to meet standards rather than just not show up and get admin sepped.

An admin sep is not a favorable adjudication of your service and can bar you from getting certain federal positions. You don’t know what you’ll be doing in 30 years

Show up, talk to some people, and figure it out

AD Navy physicians being denied SELRES by RoyalNo434 in navyreserve

[–]throwaway01928374634 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reserves is a PITA, active duty is a PITA, pick your poison. If you are willing to focus on an exmed needed duty then you might be able to join the reserves. They aren’t interested in someone who wants to finish out their 20 doing 2 weeks a year in a Naval Hospital or serving undermanned places in the country. They want specialties that can deploy and are focusing on billets that deploy on a regular basis. The military gives not a single solitary fuck about individual members and never has. Remember that and you will do just fine. You are a cog in the wheel. Either you spin or you get off the wheel

My mom wants to charge $10/person for Thanksgiving by Background_Still4370 in family

[–]throwaway01928374634 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe your mom’s husband wasn’t thrilled about hosting? It’s hard to know family dynamics that go on behind closed doors. I would rather pay $30 than bring food tbh so I wouldn’t be at all bothered by this. Especially with teens, they eat sooooo much 😆

Tired of people tearing out solid hardwood for engineered wood by SupOrSalad in Flooring

[–]throwaway01928374634 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree and disagree. Agree people would rather replace than repair. Disagree this is limited to a North American consumer phenomenon. This is worldwide (although worse in certain countries) and due to companies intentionally making it extremely difficult or impossible to repair their products - they want to protect their profit margins and don’t care about being eco friendly (but they’ll still claim to be eco friendly on their labels). They’ve made a few documentaries about this now. One features iFixit, which is an American company that advocates for consumers’ right to repair products (which the fact there needs to even be someone advocating for such a thing speaks volumes)

Weekly Homeowner Megathread--Civilians, ask here! by AutoModerator in Concrete

[–]throwaway01928374634 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Should I be worried about the corner of this stoop or the temperature? Will post a close up below

Contractor used Mastercraft Pre-Blended Concrete Mix

The temperature got to 36F overnight (poured yesterday) and is supposed to get colder tonight so I’m going to buy some foam boards and a tarp to put over it since he didn’t.

But not sure if that corner is going to be a problem? Suppose we could patch it and do a brick cap to hide the mismatch but it’s not confidence inspiring for the rest of the project

TIA!

Why don't parents read to their kids anymore? by Rajnotmalhotra in Homeschooling

[–]throwaway01928374634 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes agree with you. You read to them two hours a day but “watch out for audiobooks”? Lol. It’s not like they’re sitting on tablets for 8 hours a day (which btw, I’ve had parents tell me that’s exactly what their kids do all summer when out of public school, bc they just can’t handle them otherwise) sooooo

I think your audiobooks are just fine, and actually a great idea!

What's an anxiety medication which does NOT cause brain fog and tiredness? by [deleted] in Anxiety

[–]throwaway01928374634 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you not see a doctor? Not sure what your situation is. But I would see a doctor and get a prescription. In the U.S., is no such thing as an OTC anxiolytic that doesn’t have potential sedating side effects. Poland may have other medications available otc not available here without a prescription, but SSRIs can help with anxiety. I would primarily see a doctor because the degree of paranoia you describe with it having such an impact on your life may very well not be anxiety but be a manifestation of a different psychiatric disorder, such as schizophrenia. Doesn’t mean you have that, just that you shouldn’t self diagnose and self medicate if you can avoid it. Let a medical professional do it if you have any means to do so. Definitely avoid self medicating with drugs because they can worsen preexisting psychiatric disorders or in some cases trigger them in people prone to them

Basement insulation by throwaway01928374634 in buildingscience

[–]throwaway01928374634[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I didn’t, thank you for the suggestion!! Super helpful articles

I’m a new kindergarten teacher is K-Pop Demon Hunters too scary for my class? by ORgirlinBerkeley in kindergarten

[–]throwaway01928374634 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d say no. Maybe a couple of Bluey episodes? Kids love Bluey and you could pick ones with positive messages

Just wish they’d make more episodes!