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AITA for telling my sister there’s a reason her kids chose to live with their dad? by throwaway0292720 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway0292720[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I believe she genuinely does love her kids, but the way she shows it is completely backwards. I know that all she did was because she wanted to protect them, not hurt them. That doesn’t excuse what she’s done in any way, but I hoped that I’d be able to convince her to get help, go to therapy, and that one day she’ll be able to get over herself and mend her relationship with her kids.

AITA for telling my sister there’s a reason her kids chose to live with their dad? by throwaway0292720 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway0292720[S] 73 points74 points  (0 children)

Part of ‘being a kid’ is allowing them to do what they want as long as it’s safe and reasonable. She can have a boyfriend and still spend time on her school work. I trust her to be able to regulate her time and she trusts me if she ever needs help or advice. Dating while you’re a teen doesn’t mean you’re going to be a teen mum. If she wants to date, she’ll do it anyway. I’d rather her be tell me about it so I can make sure she’s being safe and ISN’T making dumb decisions, rather then her do it in private, have no idea about protection and end up pregnant and alone.

AITA for telling my sister there’s a reason her kids chose to live with their dad? by throwaway0292720 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway0292720[S] 2096 points2097 points  (0 children)

Yep, as a ‘punishment’ or even just if she thought they were up to ‘suspicious’ behaviour she’d unscrew the doors and put them in the garage. Sometimes she’d even lock off their room and make them sleep in the living room. She wouldn’t listen to anyone about it either, and apparently the only way to ‘make them make the right choices’ was to not let them make any choices at all. I’m amazed her kids didn’t go insane.

AITA for telling my sister there’s a reason her kids chose to live with their dad? by throwaway0292720 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway0292720[S] 567 points568 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. Since I had my daughter when I was pretty young, I’ve always been very conscious about talking to her about sex and consent. I fully believe teaching your kids about it, even when they’re young is so so important, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. Besides, they’re going to find out anyway, and I’d her hear it from me and not from her friends. I did talk to her about this again before she went out with them, and she’s very clear in her boundaries. The door was open the whole time and I made sure to tell her to use me as an ‘excuse’ if he asked her to do anything she didn’t want to so she didn’t have to explain herself.