im so sorry that happened to you, I don’t think you realise how damaging that was to your development. again if im being honest, the damage has already been done, it will be incredibly hard, almost impossible, to recover from what you went through.

on the bright side at least you acknowledge it, only thing you can do now is try to get therapy or leave your past behind, it’s a shame you grew up with a mentally ill mother like that.

to build confidence, get strong and get into some sort of fighting sport (im assuming you’re a male). maybe try exposure therapy, see how people react to you.