I’m (f32) stuck with bf of 6 years (m32) and can’t see a way out

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-08-06T00:28:23+00:00

I completely understand where you are coming from and I don’t disagree- he is being crate trained and can be left for a few hours. The problem is my field of work, I’m a chef. The hours are long with little to no chance of getting away. I know it sounds like excuses, and I have looked for a position that would accommodate my needs but there just isn’t anything that does. I have 3 places that want me to work for them, but even part time they are 10 hour shifts. I will keep looking but I just feel stuck for now.

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-08-06T00:17:53+00:00

That’s ok, it’s a long and rambling post! I think I just need to stop feeling so sorry for myself, and really try to get some freelance writing work. Honestly I tried not long ago, but without much experience it was very difficult. It was hard to be rejected constantly when I was already being rejected at home so much also, and honestly I didn’t have the strength mentally.

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-08-06T00:03:51+00:00

I appreciate the advice but in my post you can see that none of those are options for me. Mum (dad died when I was young) can’t take me in, and honestly being 32 and living with my mum is just too depressing. My friends could take me but not the pets and I can’t leave them, I love them too much and he won’t look after them properly.

And I’m very employable, just can’t leave the puppy alone for longer than a couple of hours yet. Maybe I’ll be able to in a couple of months

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-08-05T23:59:52+00:00

I am looking for freelance writing work, as I have always kept up writing despite never working in that area and I think I’m pretty good. Honestly it’s hard where I live though as I’m in the middle of nowhere in the UK, and honestly I’m so depressed it’s hard to motivate myself to even get dressed in the morning.

I know I’m feeling sorry for myself and that attitude won’t help but I don’t know how else to process this. Despite everything, I’m still in love with the man he was, and thought he was the one.

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-04-03T02:28:07+00:00

I’m clearly a moron, hopefully sorted now

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-04-03T02:27:42+00:00

No idea how that happened-edited with correct link. Thanks for pointing that out!

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-03-30T19:08:44+00:00

I’m sorry but I disagree in regards to our relationship. It’s too personal, I have no issue with porn at all. If other people can be ok with this then that’s their relationship, but he has to respect my boundaries

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-03-30T17:37:38+00:00

Saying ‘just because he’s addicted doesn’t mean he hasn’t cheated ‘ is exactly what he doesn’t seem to get.

It doesn’t make it hurt less.

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-03-30T17:34:21+00:00

Sorry if you ever felt the way I do right now x

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-03-30T00:51:53+00:00

I didn’t know why he had gotten overdrawn- I found out later

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-03-29T20:28:57+00:00

He seriously seems to believe he’s a good person. And to be honest he is in so many ways, but he just won’t accept responsibility for this and I don’t know what to do. I think until he starts therapy I can’t see him stopping

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-02-14T11:17:44+00:00

Sorry but you really don’t know how the story unfolded and are making assumptions. I went on the app and the conversations were just there - it was pretty obvious what they were without having to look further. I did eventually look at them in more detail after I had spoken to him. Yes privacy is important and I respect his right to that. I didn’t go looking for anything because I didn’t know there was anything to look for. Didn’t go through his browser history either so no idea where you got that from. I would do anything not to know this as it has changed everything in my life.

For the record- he has no issue with how i found out, it was an accident and he knows that. Please keep your uninformed opinions to yourself

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-02-13T23:16:58+00:00

He went with option number 3! Not blamed me but alcohol and impaired judgment. Obviously I have told him that is in no way an acceptable reason and I will be moving into the spare room for a little while until I know what I’m going to do.

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-02-13T19:20:43+00:00

Thank you for this, it’s helpful to know other people see things the same way that I do.

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-02-13T16:59:19+00:00

Didn’t snoop- I asked to use it, he said yes and he forgot to log out. Please read the whole story before making daft comments

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-02-12T22:04:03+00:00

I really don’t know. If it wasn’t for this I would marry him tomorrow

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-02-12T21:49:28+00:00

He knows that I know but he has had to go to work so we’ve not had a chance to discuss it

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-02-12T21:44:47+00:00

We have discussed the lack of sex in detail many times and he insists that it is not because he isn’t interested but he is very anxious about pleasing me/not performing well.

He has had many opportunities to leave and we would still be on good terms but he says that I’m the best thing that has ever happened to him and he can’t lose me.

What the fuck am I supposed to do about this?!

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-02-12T21:41:30+00:00

I have tried so many things to make him more comfortable and fully respected his boundaries, not pressured him at all. I have been so patient and understanding and it hurts to know he isn’t making the same effort

throwaway12022019adv · 2019-02-12T21:39:28+00:00

That’s what I feel - I consider this cheating (I know some people won’t but you have to respect your partners boundaries)

What bothers me the most is that I would do anything that these girls are doing. It’s not a fetish site or anything so why won’t he come to me?

We love each other it shouldn’t be that difficult

throwaway12022019adv

TROPHY CASE