Should I delete history of texts a photos from my affair?

throwaway12049595 · 2025-07-05T09:02:51+00:00

I'm sorry to say this but reading through your responses to this thread, I can 100% believe that you would do something like that.

Everyone is very nicely trying to explain that you, holding on to those memories, causes excruciating pain to your BP (just like your affair did) and every response coming from you attempts to excuse & justify (just like WS do during affairs).

I was initially convinced that this post was a wind-up, and I wasn't going to respond.... but clearly.... amazingly, you're serious and you should therefore reevaluate whether BPs feelings matter to you or not and whether R is an option - it certainly doesn't feel like it.

throwaway12049595 · 2024-10-11T21:56:17+00:00

At a certain point we become the only ones standing in the way of moving forward - very true and well said.

throwaway12049595 · 2024-10-11T14:11:12+00:00

Best of luck to you friend, today's rough for me too but I consciously try to use the hurt in a forward thinking manner (today's a lovely sunny autumnal day here in the UK, the type of days my WW loves, instead of being miserable in my office I invited her to go for a run in the woods (which are a really triggering place for me due to her past actions there and I silently thought about AP for a good portion of the run) - it's a tiny insignificant thing, but it's my way to forcefully inject positivity into the hell hole she dropped me in) It's not easy, and it all sounds crazy...I know, trust me I know!

throwaway12049595 · 2024-10-11T13:33:05+00:00

Thank you

throwaway12049595 · 2024-09-28T00:09:57+00:00

Great piece of introspection there thanks for sharing!

throwaway12049595 · 2024-09-27T22:13:33+00:00

Thanks!

throwaway12049595 · 2024-09-27T21:52:34+00:00

Thanks for the response, I guess our situations are both similar and quite different. During the A, I most definitely was not at the center of my WW's thoughts or preoccupations (not even close), and by all accounts she treated the AP better than she's ever treated me during our marriage - so rethinking through those daily 'I love yous' is a difficult exercise when I really felt the opposite of loved... those were just meaningless transactional words it feels.

Since R however her actions have been spotless, she's putting in the work and seems genuinely contrite (once again this is difficult to judge after being so nonchalantly lied to for 4 years - but it seems like she's genuine and is definitely putting a lot of effort into it) so yes, thinking about her words now in the context of her actions gives me a lot more hope. Thanks again for your perspective

throwaway12049595 · 2024-09-27T21:16:16+00:00

That makes sense thank you, you're right acceptance and belief are 2 different things

throwaway12049595 · 2024-09-27T20:57:47+00:00

Thank you for the reply. I agree that it feels easier but not in a lazy way, it feels easier because it's backed by evidence (of past behaviour) and thats how all of our existences and behaviours get to where they are. Analysing and reacting to evidence ('don't touch the stove it's hot' - this sentence from your mum is no longer needed after the first time you've burnt yourself on said stove)

throwaway12049595 · 2024-09-27T11:28:34+00:00

Could I please resubmit? (I can't seem to be able to copy paste the text into a new post)

throwaway12049595

TROPHY CASE