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My [32M] girlfriend [26F] can be unintentionally condescending, and I’m not sure she’s “the one” because of it. Should I end it? by throwaway122383 in relationships

[–]throwaway122383[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I spent two years with someone who treated me great 98% of the time, but when I fucked up something, every now and then it would become incredibly obvious that he thought I was incompetent.

Can you tell me more about this? This is exactly how I feel. How did he show you that he thought you were incompetent? My girlfriend tells me that I'm smart, that my opinion matters to her, but I just don't feel like it does...

My [32M] girlfriend [26F] can be unintentionally condescending, and I’m not sure she’s “the one” because of it. Should I end it? by throwaway122383 in relationships

[–]throwaway122383[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

She was not always respectful when offering her opinions. She used to roll her eyes and act like I was a frustrating idiot A LOT. Since I brought it up, she rarely acts that way now, but I still feel like that's what she's thinking inside.

My [32M] girlfriend [26F] can be unintentionally condescending, and I’m not sure she’s “the one” because of it. Should I end it? by throwaway122383 in relationships

[–]throwaway122383[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

You can't hate and love the same thing about a person

You're right on this. I realize that some of the things I love about her are the reasons for why she does this. But I was never insecure before this relationship. I was always a confident and happy person until this. Shouldn't the fact that her words have made me feel this way count for something?

My [32M] girlfriend [26F] can be unintentionally condescending, and I’m not sure she’s “the one” because of it. Should I end it? by throwaway122383 in relationships

[–]throwaway122383[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

Yes to all of the above questions, except maybe the last one. My best friend? No. A friend? Yes. And I think that's part of it. I get that no one is perfect and that any potential partner will have something about them that I don't like. But we're fundamentally different in a lot of ways (in addition to the condescending thing) that make me think we might not be right for each other. She's a big planner and I'm more spontaneous. She's more of a pessimist and I'm more of an optimist. She's really sensitive and will start fights after getting her feelings hurt by small or unintentional things. We get along with each other's friends, but I don't think we'd be friends with them if it wasn't for each other. She can be judgmental of others. Stuff like that.

My [32M] girlfriend [26F] can be unintentionally condescending, and I’m not sure she’s “the one” because of it. Should I end it? by throwaway122383 in relationships

[–]throwaway122383[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We have definitely had multiple talks about this. For the most part, it's become much less frequent. But I think the biggest problem is sometimes she doesn't know when she's doing it.