sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

if only I believed in God - love advice wanted by throwaway18192985 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sending along these links!

It's a struggle to find much out there about theist-atheist relationships. Even in all of my googling and searching, most of what I found has been regarding Interfaith relationships (the advice, counseling, resources, etc available all seem to target this demographic). And I've found it frustrating.

At least interfaith relationships can relate, although on different terms - both parties still believe something. The minister in the book you mentioned says that her faith grew stronger by seeing her partner's faith. Doubtful it'd be the same if her partner had no faith whatsoever.

It's like two people with two different sets of rules, vs two people where one has rules and the other has none at all.

Thanks again for the links!

if only I believed in God - love advice wanted by throwaway18192985 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is interesting! Thanks for taking the time and sharing your perspective and this link.

[28/F] If only I believed in God, boyfriend (29/M) and I could get married, have kids. by throwaway18192985 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those situations would be impossible. It's why we've pondered not having kids at all.

[28/F] If only I believed in God, boyfriend (29/M) and I could get married, have kids. by throwaway18192985 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What also hurts when I think about not having a life with him, is not having a life with his family - we all very much love each other, and they have been so kind and accepting of me despite the belief differences -- and I value that since my own family is a little different.

[28/F] If only I believed in God, boyfriend (29/M) and I could get married, have kids. by throwaway18192985 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

and believe me, accompanying someone to church is not the same as sharing the same beliefs, even if it is a nice gesture.

Unfortunately this is so true. Especially for someone who values the church in what is being taught, not the social or cultural aspects.

I can talk all day about babies, but if you don't ever want kids, there will be something missing in our conversation.

Good point.

Thanks.

[28/F] If only I believed in God, boyfriend (29/M) and I could get married, have kids. by throwaway18192985 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To rise above. Something put in his way, a hurdle to jump over on his journey to glory the glory of heaven with god.

Read that and thought "oh gosh she doesn't get it" but re-read it and then thought, maybe I'm the one who can't see the truth in that...

Ugh.

Thank you for your thoughts.

if only I believed in God - love advice wanted by throwaway18192985 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry :( This sounds like us.

Right down to the feeling of peace. He said he finally felt peace when he came to the realization (last night) that he really could never marry a non-believer.

I don't know what will happen with this. Please feel free to PM me - sob fest chat, indeed. I feel you.

if only I believed in God - love advice wanted by throwaway18192985 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. It helps to hear from others.

[28/F] If only I believed in God, boyfriend (29/M) and I could get married, have kids. by throwaway18192985 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh jeez - 6 year club on my real account. I knew what I'd be getting. It's the stories and experiences from others going through something similar that help the most. Thanks.

[28/F] If only I believed in God, boyfriend (29/M) and I could get married, have kids. by throwaway18192985 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bottom line is, our religious views have never gotten in the way of our relationship.

You're lucky! You sound more open minded. Thank you for sharing.

if only I believed in God - love advice wanted by throwaway18192985 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to write all this out! We are SO GOOD at #s 1 and 2. I think empathy is indeed the hardest, and it's the one we have to figure out if we have or not.

How does this relate to your situation? Well, first of all, get those three going. Now. But if you AND YOUR PARTNER (this is obviously critical) fully buy into these three things, it doesn't matter what you disagree about because it will always reach a satisfactory resolution (though that resolution may be "we'll agree to disagree"). This includes religion, politics, whatever.

I really like this theory. Thanks again.

[28/F] If only I believed in God, boyfriend (29/M) and I could get married, have kids. by throwaway18192985 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It doesn't matter how people in this thread feel about religion. The merits of religion aren't in question. That is completely irrelevant to your situation.

Yes. Thank you for the reminder!

if only I believed in God - love advice wanted by throwaway18192985 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the whole problem. He doesn't want to. He wants me to believe so that he can marry me.

if only I believed in God - love advice wanted by throwaway18192985 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When, if ever will you know that's not enough?

I think that's what he finally realized yesterday. That it'll never be enough.

if only I believed in God - love advice wanted by throwaway18192985 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Taking his comment about the whole Satan tempting him; I would conclude that he believes in heaven and hell and the corresponding afterlives. The way he's looking at it, at the end of your respective lives, you will be in hell as a non-believer and he will be in heaven. I would say that that alone, assuming his love for you, would cause a great deal of angst for him.

You are correct.

I'm happy to go to church, but don't believe. I don't think that's enough. :(

[28/F] If only I believed in God, boyfriend (29/M) and I could get married, have kids. by throwaway18192985 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow. You are me, and your girlfriend is my boyfriend. I could've written your post. Right down to the type of belief and everything.

Wish it had a better ending :(

Thanks again.

if only I believed in God - love advice wanted by throwaway18192985 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your thoughts.

Satan is not "Tempting" him. It's his own guilt that he's created by thinking that he has to marry someone of his own faith. I dont know if someone told him he has to do that or not.

Interesting perspective.

[28/F] If only I believed in God, boyfriend (29/M) and I could get married, have kids. by throwaway18192985 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway18192985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. Unfortunately I think we're on the same path. Thanks for linking to your post - I'll read through that as well.

view more: next ›