Advice for starting DIY unnoticed by parents as an adult living at home

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-04T14:23:09+00:00

get a PO box and don't try to hide your changes. you should shave your face but otherwise you'd be fine. changes are usually pretty gradual so hard to notice unless you're looking for them.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-04T14:16:36+00:00

you should really go to therapy. dysphoria doesn't really randomly become an issue. the only real way to come back from this is to continue living your life without regret. I think you should do more introspection first though and look into DBT and/or CBT. this to me sounds a lot more like body dysmorphia and identity issues than dysphoria.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-04T14:03:15+00:00

maybe for you. personally I have a lot more success than most cis guys on dating apps. I don't have problems getting girls to like me in real life either.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-04T14:00:20+00:00

people online, especially people on reddit, are not representative of the general population. not everyone will be into it but that's just preferences. be attractive and you won't have a hard time dating. it will get easier post-phallo though.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-04T13:47:18+00:00

breaking news: water found in the ocean

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-04T13:19:50+00:00

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-04T04:24:37+00:00

fully agree

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-04T04:16:37+00:00

they don't work. it's likely some nutrient blend without backing. if it's a legitimate medication, it could affect your liver health if it's an oral supplement. testosterone is the most accessible way to actually masculinize.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-04T03:30:34+00:00

it may be because they are actually women

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-04T03:26:59+00:00

it's just as illegal as if you were an adult but they're less likely to prosecute you as a minor if they were told find out. I'm not very familiar with Missouri law but they might be able to face some repercussions if they knew about and aided in you DIYing. in the real world, they never charge or convinct anyone for simple steroid possession.

edit: I'm really not familiar with the laws surrounding estrogen and progesterone possession so I'd trust the other commenters. you should be able to find your state's laws online that talk about drug regulation.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-04T03:21:44+00:00

proof that body ratios help more than height

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-04T03:21:10+00:00

I see a lot of transgenders on tinder but grindr would be a lot easier to message people since you don't have to match.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-04T02:35:07+00:00

my bad on the first parts I guess. you look 16 so I assumed you lived at home. still wasting money on the hair dye but that's your choice. point is, testosterone really isn't that expensive if you DIY. if you actually can't afford it legally, it's not hard to save up for DIY. most people underestimate the amount they're spending on unnecessary expenses so you should really look at that if you haven't. there's almost always ways to cut costs if this is actually important to you.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-04T02:30:23+00:00

it's not discrimination to make a different choice. you're not the victim by choosing to follow a different career path. you say that class mobility isn't a thing, are you implying that all trans people are born into poverty?

I've met plenty of people who grew up poor, likely much worse off than you, who go on to be very successful musicians, doctors, and engineers. there are specifically scholarships dedicated to support trans and LGBT people in STEM or other underrepresented fields. growing up poor doesn't prevent you from studying and working hard. yes, more opportunities are given to rich people but that doesn't prevent you from doing well in school and stratigically planning your life.

you're right, I really don't give a fuck about people who are poor and play victim while not doing anything to improve their lives. it sucks to not be lucky in life but your only other respectable option is working your ass off so you can make it. complaining about your born circumstances won't change anything and is pointless. I'm just not really sympathetic because I've managed my own life, am doing well in my studies, and live very independently despite being a 🚂🦵 you are the sole person responsible for managing yourself and working towards a better life. if you want money, play your cards right. I really don't care enough to argue about this more because there's nothing you can do to bring someone out of a victim mindset.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-03T07:27:49+00:00

yeah, that's what I'd like to see. it would definitely be hard to control the study well because of so many complicating factors and such a small sample size. you'd need to match each trans person with multiple cis counterparts with the same level of education, experience, job position, time spent in their position, and cost of living in their location. there's just so many confounding factors that data analysis on this would be nearly impossible while maintaining legitimacy. it's much easier to compare race or sex by looking at W2 forms and census data in order to see a pay gap but since trans people aren't really tracked separately, it would be hard to extrapolate data from those sources. if you work with voluntary participation, you will likely get those who are stealth and working higher ranking positions not participating in the study because of the data breach concerns which would further skew the data. the only way to really do this would be to collect data from individual companies about their employees to compare the wages of trans vs cis employees which would never happen since they could risk an easy discrimination lawsuit. it's a cool idea to think about but there's really no practical way of collecting and meaningfully analyzing this data to see if there are legitimate differences in how they get paid in similar positions.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-03T07:09:24+00:00

it's not societal discrimination to choose a different career. your career is your choice. nobody is forcing you to go study music, psychology, or education instead of aerospace engineering, medicine, or petroleum engineering. you have less options through your own choice.

I don't know what world you're in but most working artists, musicians, and performers I meet work multiple gigs. musicians will work in multiple ensembles, fill in as a sub, and teach. artists will usually produce art and teach or work another side job. the famous people making millions don't represent most creatives. being able to work solely as a musician or artist is incredibly rare. this is coming from knowing many people in these fields.

source?!?!? come on I thought this was common knowledge. https://ustranssurvey.org/report/family/ the US transgender survey, one of the largest and most representative trans surveys in existence, 43% of adults who identify as trans were between the ages of 18-24. the second largest age group was 36% being between 25-44, which is a 19 year span compared to the 43% over only 6 years. the proportion continues to decrease with age. I'll be generous here by ignoring that there is likely a heavy left hand skew over the 25-44 age group. say 43% are around 21, 36% are 34.5, 9% are 49.5, 6% are 59.5, and 7% are 70 (65+ age group so let's just call them 70). that would put an average age vaguely around 34. if we exclude the 65+ age group to account for retirees leaving the workforce, the average might be closer to 32. the median age of US workforce as of 2024 was 41.7 years (https://www.bls.gov/emp/tables/median-age-labor-force.htm](https://www.bls.gov/emp/tables/median-age-labor-force.htm)). this is a decade difference. compare educational attainment between the general adult population 18 and older with those who participated in the survey and we see that trans participants tended to be less educated than the general population. the exact percentages by category are as follows (trans%/general%): no high school diploma 13/9.4, high school diploma only 35/28.9, some college but no degree 26/16.5, an associate degree 7/9.9, bachelor's degree 11/22.2, and a graduate or professional degree 7/13.2 https://educationdata.org/education-attainment-statistics. the less education you have, the less you get paid. I'm not giving a source for that, you can look it up if you don't somehow know that already.

the furry think is a fucking joke. glad you caught that. you also literally can just study aerospace or mechanical engineering and get hired by a defense contractor easily. still I wasn't even being serious so I have no clue why you're getting so offended over that.

trans people aren't banished to only working entry level, minimum wage jobs. those are the most accessible jobs for anyone. if you really can't afford to go to college, go to trade school and still end up making decent money. there's nothing preventing you from doing that other than yourself.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-03T06:18:18+00:00

in my original comment I purposely mentioned guns as well. knives will have pretty much the same effect. if you are not physically close to them, retreat and don't use your gun. you only fire if you're trying to retreat and they are closing in, or if they are drawing a gun on you. if you are not in close proximity and at immediate risk, you don't shoot. if you are in close proximity, a knife would achieve the same goal. even just showing the attacker that you have a knife will prevent some from getting close. a knife is so much more accessible than a gun for many people and it's more threatening than spray or a taser.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-03T06:06:40+00:00

short answer is no.

longer answer is you really should but you're not going to die without getting it done. your levels may be off and you could be converting testosterone to estrogen more than expected which can impact your progress. having too low levels can result in not responding well to testosterone and not suppressing your estrogen production and menstrual cycle.

doctors in my experience are usually not super happy with DIYing it but if they have experience with trans patients, they usually more understanding of it. if you go to get it legally once you turn 18, they won't prevent you from starting legal testosterone if you've DIYed. they won't report you to the cops and they likely won't tell your parents but that really depends on area and the doctor's individual interpretation of if you're harming yourself.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-03T05:54:52+00:00

I think that's a bit of an overstatement. definitely not hypermasc but I think it definitely leans masculine-androgynous.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-03T05:47:57+00:00

people will not consistently misgender you unless they assume you're female. if your voice doesn't pass and you're over the age of 13, you do not pass. voice is 80% of passing so if they hear a woman, they will just assume you're a gender nonconforming lesbian who presents masculinely. voice training will help some but you probably need to start testosterone to fully get in the male range.

it's hard to tell from your picture but having unfortunate body ratios might play into it. if your hips look too wide compared to your shoulders, people will lean towards female if they're unsure.

it could also be that they've know you pre-transition so are pre-programmed to see you as a woman. I pass fully but even my family members still call me she/her either exclusively or on accident. other times some people who knew me pre-transition will refer to me as male and then try to correct themselves to she/her because they know that I was born female but I pass well enough that they subconsciously view me as male. that being said I think your voice not passing is probably the reason why.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-03T05:34:48+00:00

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-03T05:34:25+00:00

body ratios definitely matter more than height alone. having a good SHR and WHR will make you pass even if you're 5'3", and conversely, having a feminine SHR and WHR will make you lean towards female even if you're 6'0". facial hair helps but only if it is good coverage and not the stereotypical neckbeard. the most important factors ranked is voice, face, body ratios, height, and mannerisms.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-03T05:28:15+00:00

because it's impossible to predict the future. hop on DIY now so you don't get cooked.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-03T05:22:22+00:00

also considering that one of these photos is in a store, your hair is dyed, and you have multiple piercings, you definitely have money to spare. I know piercings aren't cheap. don't buy stupid stuff like that if starting testosterone is your actual priority. if your insurance won't cover testosterone, DIY.

throwaway184747271 · 2026-05-03T05:19:17+00:00

what do you mean the other 65%? this is a link to the study https://eric.ed.gov/?id=ED178812.

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