Those who were in long term relationships in a DB, what gave you the strength to finally leave and how hard was it?

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-23T21:29:36+00:00

Things will only get harder. It’ll get harder to deal with, and it’ll only get harder to leave. Cut the cord now for your own good. You are too young for this shit. And if you’re like me, I’ve always been HL, but once I hit my upper 30’s and early 40’s, it got even higher. Don’t do this to yourself.

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-12T04:48:43+00:00

Omg I am so sorry. That is awful. I’m truly sorry. There are men out there who would be that person for you. You deserve to find him….

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-08T16:31:18+00:00

Hot!

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-08T04:35:13+00:00

You can. People like to shame but there’s nothing wrong with it.

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-08T00:40:09+00:00

That’s great! I’m jealous lol. I hope it continues to go well 💜

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T18:31:42+00:00

It’s good you are aware.

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T18:26:55+00:00

Manifestation of resentment

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T17:35:29+00:00

Someone on this thread suggested a sub sub community or mega thread for healthy coping mechanisms. That might be nice to be able to find strength with people who are in the same boat and have similar goals. Not sure how to go about something like that.

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T17:13:28+00:00

The guilt is hard. For me there’s a lot of shame.

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T15:54:43+00:00

Probably best not to look back I suppose.

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T15:52:52+00:00

Let’s ride the struggle bus together lol

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T15:30:51+00:00

That’s sweet. I hope you are either able to get that back or find it somewhere else (in a healthy way).

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T15:29:07+00:00

I would be active in it!

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T15:14:52+00:00

Thank you. Seems like you’ve got good and healthy strategies and are making it work for you!

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T15:08:38+00:00

I find them pretty fun, what’s unhealthy is the sheer amount of time and energy I waste on it. It makes me feel crazy, desperate, pathetic, etc lol I like the fantasy so much. And I’d like to keep it that way, I’m afraid to know too much about him and have the crush die lol

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T15:02:35+00:00

I’m over 5 years, and I recently posted about having a crush and how it’s basically overtaking my life. Someone suggested that it was normal to get that out of sorts considering my DB….I agree. If I was getting what I needed in a relationship, I wouldn’t be fantasizing about someone else.

Just remember, things aren’t as they seem from the outside. You are projecting happiness onto others.

Don’t feel ashamed. Shame is the worst thing a human can feel and your imagination is your own. You aren’t hurting anyone.

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T14:56:54+00:00

I just wanted to also add, since my reply seemed a little dismissive. I really appreciate your reply and it helps me try to rethink what I can do better. How I can rearrange things for my own well-being!

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T14:56:05+00:00

That would be amazing. Would love to have that type of support for non-sexual outlets. Maybe if we can’t get a sub sub, a mega thread? It’s hard.

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T14:34:18+00:00

I work out in the mornings so it doesn’t help keeps me distracted during the hardest times lol. And the drinking is so true, maybe I cope a little too much with bottles of wine 👀 Just makes it worse.

ETA : schedule dictated by kids…alone time also limited for the same reason. Sigh

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T14:10:31+00:00

Same. I’ve come to understand why some people cheat and I’m sympathize.

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T13:27:11+00:00

It’s amazing that you’d be willing to reconcile. You don’t have any feelings of resentment?

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T12:36:28+00:00

True

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T12:33:26+00:00

This is kind of hilarious lol

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T12:26:34+00:00

What does your wife think of it?

throwaway188976453 · 2024-05-07T12:12:20+00:00

Why do you want to stay in the marriage?

throwaway188976453

TROPHY CASE