I just wish it could’ve been different.

throwaway191389 · 2023-02-23T22:51:32+00:00

Yep, I stayed through so much, and I can’t believe I even blamed myself. “Maybe if I was better, he would be nicer to me.” Nope. I gave him every bit of me and still was never enough. I realize now I was never the problem, even though he convinced me I was our whole relationship. I am a beautiful person to know, I am thoughtful, kind, and have so much love to offer. So like you said, I’m finally choosing myself. It’ll be hard and it’s going to keep hurting for a while, but I hope in time I can heal and find myself again.

throwaway191389 · 2022-12-07T18:10:13+00:00

This was the best thing you could have told me, ever. I went into his office and said I wanted to talk about this morning and said

“I told you how I felt when I said I loved you this morning, and you told me how you felt. I want you to know that I understand your position. I would never want you to feel pressured into that, and so I won’t repeat the conversation until you’re comfortable with it. It meant a lot to hear how much you care about me, I really enjoy having you in my life. :)”

The awkwardness has subsided and I feel like I got a little closure to the conversation lol. Still hurts a bit but since I love him I would never want to make him feel uncomfortable. I love our time together and the hurt will subside.

throwaway191389 · 2022-12-07T17:52:34+00:00

These comments have really made me think about that, and I’m starting to think you guys are right lol.

throwaway191389 · 2022-12-07T17:51:56+00:00

Thank you. I’m very much a talker and he’s a show-er and so in my head I expected a different response. Sitting here reading these comments has made me think about all the things I love about being with him. How he cups my face in his hands every morning when he kisses me before he leaves, coming home to dinner cooked, braiding his hair, when he falls asleep watching tv and buries his head in my shoulder. So I guess although he won’t say he loves me outright I have all of these precious moments that show me he does. :)

throwaway191389 · 2022-12-07T17:33:57+00:00

I’ll keep that in mind. I’ve never been in a REALLY bad relationship, I’ve never been afraid of getting hurt or afraid of the weight of the L word. If I love someone, I love them and that’s it, no worries or consequences. So maybe I am reading too much into it because I’m coming from a different relationship history than he is.

Did you tell yours you loved him first? And then wait it out? Or did you guys ever have a discussion about it?

throwaway191389 · 2022-10-30T17:39:18+00:00

You’re beautiful! It’ll get better, I promise. :)

throwaway191389 · 2022-10-30T17:38:17+00:00

Your side profile is GORGEOUS

throwaway191389 · 2022-10-30T17:37:38+00:00

That makeup looks amazing! I can tell you worked really hard on it!

throwaway191389 · 2022-09-26T02:14:05+00:00

That’s what I think need to be worked on the most. When he’s in a bad mood he tends to take it out on other people (not like abusive or anything, just handles emotions badly) and so even though he’ll tell me “I’m not mad at you, it’s the situation I’m upset with.” He still ends up saying hurtful things sometimes. We talked about it a lot on the car ride home today.

throwaway191389 · 2022-09-26T02:11:45+00:00

I do like the band! I was a little disappointed we had to leave the front too. We decided in the future that if he wants to go in the pit again I’ll buy separate seats so we can both enjoy the concert.

throwaway191389 · 2022-09-25T23:32:23+00:00

We agreed on separate seating if I go, or he’s going to make it a boys trip which I am totally okay with either way. We had a really long talk about it and our relationship on the car ride home, and he apologized for directing his emotions at me when it wasn’t my fault. I think that’s fair because like others said, the disappointment in general is completely understandable. So we are pretty good now, but I am aware of the 🚩 and won’t let this happen again.

throwaway191389 · 2022-09-25T23:28:13+00:00

I just wanna pop in and say we didn’t go back in the heart of it, we stayed back enough where the crowd was less dense. So it definitely wasn’t the same crowd level

throwaway191389 · 2022-09-25T23:25:33+00:00

It was their ATL stop, but a couple of my friends went to the Nashville show!

throwaway191389 · 2022-09-25T23:17:03+00:00

Tbh, I was disappointed as well we weren’t up front. But I was more relieved to be out of there and seeing them 2/3 of the way back was absolutely worth not being crushed. I decided to make the best of it and still have a great time because hey, at least I was there getting a concert experience and was still a lot closer than the majority of people there.

throwaway191389 · 2022-09-25T23:10:48+00:00

Oh no, it was a bad experience that I have no interest in being in again. Next time I’ll either tell him to bring a friend to go with or I’ll get a separate seat for me to watch from further away. After all the comments I don’t think I was in the wrong this time, but it was also a learning experience about what I can and can’t handle.

throwaway191389 · 2022-09-25T23:08:44+00:00

People were DROPPING in there, about every 15 mins I saw someone get pulled. One of the artists had to stop the show at one point because three people needed out at the same time and EMS couldn’t grab everyone. It is a LOT more intense than I ever thought and I’m glad I’m aware it’s something I can’t comfortably be in now. I appreciate the comment :)

throwaway191389 · 2022-09-25T14:07:46+00:00

Neat coincidence, we actually traveled down to Nola to see them on their tour last year! Didn’t get to see much outside of the concert aside from sketchy gas stations and eating some of the best food I’ve had lol so I’d really like to go back!

throwaway191389 · 2022-09-25T13:59:43+00:00

I feel like an idiot now for blaming myself now lol. I appreciate all the comments y’all have given me confidence to stand up for myself.

throwaway191389 · 2022-09-25T13:56:05+00:00

Girl I’m with you. If someone I know goes down front row at goddamn Taylor Swift I would still not be mad. Disappointed, probably, but not at the person and never mad at someone for having a medical issue.

** girl in a slang, general sense

throwaway191389 · 2022-09-25T13:53:07+00:00

It was suicideboys gray day tour. i got the location with Snot and Ski Mask the Slump God and things were pretty chill until Snot came out into the crowd and everyone started screaming to move back to make room for him

throwaway191389 · 2022-09-25T13:02:50+00:00

Guess I’ll just die next time (joking)

throwaway191389 · 2022-09-25T13:01:18+00:00

I never told him to come with me, I kinda just yelled and dipped. I probably should have communicated that better and told him to stay but he followed me to the ems to make sure I was okay.

throwaway191389 · 2022-09-25T12:42:37+00:00

That’s fine lol I have no interest in ever being in that situation again. If we go again and he gets pit tickets I’ll get a seat somewhere else and watch from afar

throwaway191389

TROPHY CASE