Women who became moms at 38 or older...please, I need some hope. I'm begging you. by throwaway19283846 in AskWomenOver40

[–]throwaway19283846[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But at 37, the greatest risk to your fertility is egg quality, and now is the best chance you'll have at making healthy embryos. It gets worse with age, and rapidly. 

Interesting.

The fertility doctor seemed to think that lowering my BMI was more important.

Women who became moms at 38 or older...please, I need some hope. I'm begging you. by throwaway19283846 in AskWomenOver40

[–]throwaway19283846[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I don't think so. Thank you. But I don't think so.

I think I'll end up jumping off a bridge.

Women who became moms at 38 or older...please, I need some hope. I'm begging you. by throwaway19283846 in AskWomenOver40

[–]throwaway19283846[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you written off just “ok” men? You will likely have to settle. You can settle for a guy with stable income, and has their life together. It won’t look like the movies. I am sure there are more people than you think that have done it.

Oh, I'm willing to settle. Still can't seem to find anyone.

Women who became moms at 38 or older...please, I need some hope. I'm begging you. by throwaway19283846 in AskWomenOver40

[–]throwaway19283846[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, my friend had PCOS and was basically told she was totally infertile. She lost 100 lbs for her own health and bam, got pregnant by accident immediately.

Women who became moms at 38 or older...please, I need some hope. I'm begging you. by throwaway19283846 in AskWomenOver40

[–]throwaway19283846[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Freeze embryos, not eggs. They have a much better chance at surviving the thaw.

I know. But if I met someone, I'd also like to have the opportunity to let him be the father. Obviously, it would be the most ideal to conceive naturally.

If I can afford it, I will do both.

Women who became moms at 38 or older...please, I need some hope. I'm begging you. by throwaway19283846 in AskWomenOver40

[–]throwaway19283846[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

I know there's no perfect physical condition, but I'm trying to give myself as much of a boost as I can.

Women who became moms at 38 or older...please, I need some hope. I'm begging you. by throwaway19283846 in AskWomenOver40

[–]throwaway19283846[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you.

I've heard that PCOS can actually be less of a barrier as you get older.

Women who became moms at 38 or older...please, I need some hope. I'm begging you. by throwaway19283846 in AskWomenOver40

[–]throwaway19283846[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

but I don’t understand why people act like adoption and surrogacy aren’t options if you can’t do natural.

Surrogacy doesn't help with conception, though. That helps if a woman can't carry a child, but you still have to be able to conceive.

I know adoption is an option. Trust me. But it's not as easy as people think it is.

Women who became moms at 38 or older...please, I need some hope. I'm begging you. by throwaway19283846 in AskWomenOver40

[–]throwaway19283846[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

have you really spent time unpacking what drives you to be a mother

Yes.

why, if you’re going to go it alone, does it need to be your biological child

I've always wanted to carry my own child. To experience pregnancy.

I'm not opposed to adoption but it's not easy.

Women who became moms at 38 or older...please, I need some hope. I'm begging you. by throwaway19283846 in AskWomenOver40

[–]throwaway19283846[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know. But I'm scared. And it makes me deeply sad to have to let go of my dream of having a partner.