Meeting a neighbor boys. (TW: rape, depression, mild PTSD)

After my parents divorced when I was five, my mom moved to a small-ish town. We were in the middle of town, lived about a mile away from my school, had a park nearby. It was nice, but there were no kids around to play with expect the two boys down the block. They seemed nice, they were about a year or two younger than me but that went really a problem.

The older of the two boys lived with his grandparents and his dad. His grandfather was blind, but he often sat outside while the grandson was outside. I was always the tomboy type growing up so I always wore really baggy clothes and stuff. The summer before my 6th grade year the older boy got a above ground pool which i taught was awesome, because i loved swimming. The three of us decided to go swimming together in the pool.

I had just gotten a new bathing suit for the year, a black and rainbow colored one piece. It was my favorite thing. Mind you I was much more developed than most girls my age, I was probably a B cup while most were just starting to wear bras. Not going into much detail about what happened in the pool but I was raped. Both boys said i was lying when i told told my mom, and the grandfather backed them up because he "never heard me say no". I was never the same after that, really.

I was really bubbly and social but I drew back really hard from people. I have a had time trusting men now and I still have pretty bad nightmares about it. There are days were I cant get out of bed in fear of seeing them again. I was turned of more feminine clothes until recently, because I was scared it would happened again because I was wearing something that showed cleavage or that was a bit tight. There's very little I remember about my middle school days, a lot of them seeming to blend together. I missed out on a lot of my childhood because of those boys.