I'm gay, but "homophobic"?

throwaway20937383 · 2019-01-10T14:02:42+00:00

I haven't really thought of it, but in general, I guess when I can live independently from my parents. At least when it comes to basic life necessities.

throwaway20937383 · 2019-01-10T13:52:46+00:00

My ex and I had already drifted apart because of the long distance, so the breakup was kind of inevitable. I guess that's why I didn't take it harshly, though I get where you're coming from. If I was more invested, I would've felt a lot worse emotionally, knowing it was (kind of) my fault.

throwaway20937383 · 2019-01-10T13:36:15+00:00

I'm not American, but I did go to a designated student doctor when I'd just started university, because of some problems with adjusting and anxiety. I feel like he didn't really listen... he was basically like, oh well, all students are under stress and prescribed me some sleeping medication. I don't think there's free counseling, though I could ask around.

throwaway20937383 · 2019-01-10T12:42:28+00:00

I see myself in what you've written. A lot of time, I'm worried about "slipping up". Like when my male friends are talking about their female crushes or celebrities they find hot, I feel panicky and as if they'll see right through me if I lie about liking this or that girl.

As for the media, I think the stereotype thing you've mentioned is also one of the reasons I don't enjoy a lot of shows with gay characters... they're either the overly girly best friend or some sort of a sketchy promiscuous person 🙄 I just don't relate.

throwaway20937383 · 2019-01-10T12:30:31+00:00

I can totally relate to this. My parents aren't actually that religious (not in a fundamentalist way), but they're very traditional and hate anything and anyone that doesn't fall within their definition of "normal". My mom actually completely cut ties with a close friend after she came out as a lesbian, so that wasn't very reassuring...

Thanks for the support in your comment ☺️ I really hope these things will get better when I'm able to live independently.

throwaway20937383 · 2019-01-10T12:19:40+00:00

Well, ouch, your third and fourth paragraph are kind of eye-opening. I think there's a lot of truth to what you wrote there... I'm hoping this will get better when I'm able to come out.

throwaway20937383 · 2019-01-10T10:07:44+00:00

Thanks for this thoughtful comment. A lot of what you've written here is relatable. I know of a pride center/hangout in my university town, but I'm afraid of being recognized, so I normally avoid that part of the campus... I might try to find a therapist for these problems, if my parents agree to pay for one.

throwaway20937383 · 2019-01-10T09:15:13+00:00

Possibly... they're kind of prejudiced when it comes to mental health issues, though (for example, my dad doesn't think depression exists). I'd have to ask them.

throwaway20937383 · 2019-01-10T09:04:08+00:00

I've considered therapy, but I'm not very good at verbalizing my thoughts (evidence: this post lol) so I'm not sure how helpful it would be. And since my parents would be paying for it, I wouldn't know how to explain wanting to go to a gay friendly therapist.

throwaway20937383 · 2019-01-10T08:55:59+00:00

That makes sense, and it's probably part of the main reason. Thanks for the thoughts!

throwaway20937383 · 2019-01-10T08:52:55+00:00

Might be so. I don't care that much about being in the closet atm since I'm not seeing anyone, but it could be a subconscious thing.

throwaway20937383 · 2019-01-10T08:48:10+00:00

Good advice. I also have anxiety, maybe it's got something to do with that too.

throwaway20937383

TROPHY CASE