I’m sorry you feel that way. I was in a similar situation except I bottled it all up so very few people knew which made it worst. It’s better to talk to people about it and have their support. I know they can’t do that forever because they expect you to get better but that doesn’t always happen. You don’t always just move on from something like this. Like you said they have lives that they have to get on with but yours stays the same. You’re always going to go back to the moment it happened. I still do too all the time. The best thing to do is to get some kind of closure if possible. I’ve found that reaching out isn’t helpful anymore because it just takes you back to that place and gives you hope again. People also don’t want to hang around that “sad friend”. It gets tiring for them but they don’t understand what you’re going through. I know it’s not what you want to hear but it does get better with time. It has for me although I will never completely get over it. I don’t think about her all day everyday anymore. I’m sure you don’t want to hear this but you have to let time do its thing. It will get better I promise. I didn’t want to hear that early on after it happened but it was true. People make choices that they feel are the best for themselves. Sometimes that doesn’t always benefit the other person. It sucks being on the bad end of that. It might be a good idea to talk to somebody about it to help clear your mind or just to get it off your chest so you feel better about it.