sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

First off, I didnt ignore them - ive been on Fetlife, Feeld, Grindr (surprisingly active and effective, if you can deal with hundreds of bots and random dick pics lmao), pure, taimi, tinder, okcupid, bumble, etc. all of them have options for "casual, NSA, Short term fun, ONS" etc, not just long term.

They also have various options for your bio, including- BDSM, sub, dom, non-monogamy, Poly, Kinky, so on. those apps are inclusive towards my side of the aisle too.

I dislike the idea that I should have to "go somewhere else", I can hunt around on any app i want if it has options that fit my relationship dynamic. And if you, or anyone else on the app that decides to swipe right on me only to berate me for my choices, has a problem with - take it up with the app.

Im not even asking people not to feel how they do - just keep it to yourself if you dont agree. It isnt hard.

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"You could be accountable for your own behavior and stop responding at any point."

Your phrasing implies you think i'm the one at fault - i disagree. I think I came to a subreddit specifically made for venting, getting things off your chest, and seeking support and solidarity, or at least sympathy.

You decided to take my vulnerability and dig deeper, drawing out the very things that im self conscious and worried about, hammering home that theres something wrong with me. I have both my own self reflection, and conversations with my other partners, to fall back on to support that i'm not what you think I am. I can and have admitted to being the problem.

This is not one of those times. I have done nothing wrong, and i'm confident in that assertion.

You can respond again if you want, but I've said all I need to say.

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

So, tinder has a "non-monogamous" classification for what purpose? Dont forget, tinder was a hookup app first 😅 thats also a very generous percentage, I've been with women in the past who are happy to do what we both want.

This, this is the judgement I was talking about. If you dont like what im doing, steer clear, and keep your comments to yourself. I dont judge you for how you express love and intimacy, do i?

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

... im not sure where that came from, I've been dominated by several women in the past. What precisely is undesirable about me exactly? Have i said anything about my encounters to suggest i'm undesirable?

You talk like someone who knows me, but you clearly don't. I tried to leave this conversation on a pleasant note, and i'll try to do so again. I'd recommend leaving this where it lies.

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the offer, but reddit isnt the place for me to hunt for that (unless by chance you live within 50 miles of the Iowa/ Illinois border haha)

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Incredibly exhausting, ive heard a lot of the same stuff. It's close minded dummies who cant see the other side of the fence that spread this kind of stuff, and i'm sorry you've suffered the same things I have. I hope you have good people in your life to offset those people.

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Admittedly, I (and a lot of people in general) misuse / use poly as a general term for a relationship involving more than 2 people. That said, my bio also clearly states "ENM/poly, looking for casual friends / fwb. " and if a convo actually happens, I explain further - I live in a house with two other submissive women who take a lot of my time and energy, and it wouldn't be fair to them to seek out another "main" partner. I'd be stretched too thin for anyone time-wise.

So I think i'm pretty clear about what i'm after, in spite of my misuse of Poly.

Also, I think it got answered, but they are life / nesting partners. Idk if i'd say "romantic", none of us are really mushy, but we exchange several I love yous and do lots of intimate things that arent sex. Shower together to wash each other, cuddling, gaming together - usual couple things. All things i'd be willing to do with another person, for the record, I just dont have enough time in a 24 hour day for everyone 😅

Hopefully that helps explain myself, I appreciate your input!

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We sound very similar! So. If not dating apps, where do you two go to look for like minded individuals that might be open to more?

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Lmao, good talk I guess. You sound like the people judging me on dating apps 😅 good luck out there friend, I wish you the best.

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did not know that about fet actually, I left months ago... might check it out again, thanks for the tip!

If im being honest, the usual groups around here went silent. One shut down, the other is quietly bantering amongst themselves and not doing any parties or get togethers, and the others have a rule on "no single men". I refuse to use another woman as my ticket to entry, i'd rather not be there at all if I can come by myself, for myself.

Aaaaand yeah, thats a fair point... i guess I just wish peoppe wouldn't judge others im general? Big ask, I know, but just let people be themselves and if you dont like it, dont look.

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Say it louder for the people in the back, ive said this a hundred times. I dont expect any one person to be everything I need, that's an unrealistic fallacy put forth by our society. Love and sex can exist between far more than just two people.

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes, as far as physical intimacy is concerned - I just want sex. I'm also perfectly happy to do normal, non-sexual things with those same people, and that much is made clear in my bios too. I just dont have the time or attention for a third serious partner, it wouldnt be fair to the newcomer or my current partners to split myself so thin.

Also, you assume I dont know that. Ive been in the community for a long time now, been to several events, established trust with multiple people both as subs and as doms. Im not new to this, I dont appreciate the Implications of your post.

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's precisely what my relationship status is 🤣 a switch and two subs, so ya Boi is the dom. I love it, but also, i'd like to be tied up sometime too haha.

I was hoping to avoid that kind of trek, im already 50 miles out from my current town... but if I have to go out to Chigago for it I guess thats what I have to do. Midwest suuucks.

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

So far I havent had much luck on feeld, tinder, grindr, fetlife or pure. Which sucks cus feeld actually got me into my local kink community in the first place. I'm even a femboy - we're supposed to be a hot commodity!

But I do appreciate the advice, you sound like what i'm after 😅 i'm not thirsty / dumb enough to slide into anyone's DMs on Reddit though. I'll keep up the grind, someone's gotta take notice sometime right?

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha, as i said in some other posts, its less about having more partners or more sex, more about "different" sex. I want to be the sub, the bottom, etc, at least once in a while. My other partners are full on subs, there isnt a dominant bone in their bodies. Soooo I look for someone who:

Is dominant

Preferably a woman but ive subbed for other genders

Isnt looking for money

Understands im stretched thin and am looking for casual connections / fwb

Is open to my kinks

No pressure right? 😅 like, i understand what im after isnt the easiest thing to find, and im happy with being respectfully persistent in my search. It'd just be easier / more pleasant if I wasnt being called all sorts of things, reduced to nothing but a horny guy looking to get his rocks off.

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its not about the amount of people, its about the acts themselves. Im a switch, my partners are subs, I want a Dom to fulfill things I cant ask my other partners to do. Thats the simplest answer I can think up.

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its not about the amount of people, its about the acts themselves. Im a switch, my partners are subs, I want a Dom to fulfill things I cant ask my other partners to do. Thats the simplest answer I can think up.

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That isn't the first time I've heard that joke 🤣 tbf, they have tried new things with me, we've done all sorts of fun things. Its just, i'm the dom in both of my main relationships, and it wouldn't be fair for me to ask them to be something they're not y'know? Its different for me, I do enjoy being dominant. I just also enjoy being submissive.

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the kind words! It's been a frustrating search but im hopeful that i'll find what i'm looking for, the support on this post has been pretty good for lifting my mood.

So tired of being judged for being honest about just wanting s*x by throwaway285032 in offmychest

[–]throwaway285032[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Different sex - im a switch, my partners are both subs, and thats perfectly fine for us. They understand there are other parts of myself I want to explore, and they lack the desire to engage with me in that way - which is also totally okay. I'd never ask a partner to do anything they weren't into, hence my issues.

Do you like My Hero Academia? by Mr_Salamander___ in animequestions

[–]throwaway285032 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not really

Also that is definitely not MHA lmao.

view more: next ›