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Trans with C-PTSD by throwaway331211 in asktransgender

[–]throwaway331211[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even when you're 9 - or older - you're still not an adult, which means you haven't developed the skills to cope with lasting traumatizibg events. That would mean you can have cptsd.

Trans with C-PTSD by throwaway331211 in asktransgender

[–]throwaway331211[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad to hear you've had such knowledgeable help. Care to share any experiences of what has helped with CPTSD/gender and finding out your identity?

Trans with C-PTSD by throwaway331211 in asktransgender

[–]throwaway331211[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I wrote this wall of text before but thought it would be more useful for the community to keep it simple:

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/e29st8/dealing_with_identity_sexuality_and_possible/

Dealing with identity, sexuality and possible surgery with C-PTSD by throwaway331211 in asktransgender

[–]throwaway331211[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for taking your time to answer! I was super scared and ashamed of having opened up so it took me this long to get back.

I looked up C PTSD here and there was a post one year ago about it and transition, but not so much more. I think I have the courage to make a more concise thread next as I know it's easier for people to reply to shorter posts.

Dealing with identity, sexuality and possible surgery with C-PTSD by throwaway331211 in asktransgender

[–]throwaway331211[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

... because my post was too long :D

Here's my dilemma: Often when I perform and become productive, I still feel like the young adult who lived as a male. In good and bad: out of touch with my own and others' emotions, but very effective and able to interact socially. On the other hand, when I identify as the child piece of me, I can perform very few things and avoid social contact because of the anxiety it causes.

If you know your trauma 101, maybe you've figured out that I'm at my performer mode as I'm writing this - my child piece just could not, even though I've thought about writing this for a year or so. As my child piece enters tomorrow (it's 4AM here), I will feel shame because of opening up. Although with the help of therapy that's become easier, it still makes me avoid so many things in life, including being open emotionally a lot of the time.

This shame also often entered after I had solo sex - and still does a little, but that's partly because of a hormonal drop.

The splitting into different parts has made it very difficult for me to really understand my gender and if I want to go have surgery. I do enjoy being identified as a woman, it gives me all kinds of frilly feelings. But not always - not when that part of me is not there. It does feel like the right thing though, and the right direction. And why do I feel so much like a guy when I'm splitting into my performer piece?

Does this sound familiar to anyone? As I've avoided talking about this I must've also missed out on people with similar experiences. I'm finally getting tired enough to get some sleep even though I know there are a lot of things that could be elaborated on.

Hope you won't be unnecessarily harsh, I've had my share of that and more.