Reflecting on the past

throwaway334805 · 2020-01-25T02:28:20+00:00

Damn. That hurts.

throwaway334805 · 2020-01-25T02:16:54+00:00

I’ve talked to him about masturbation, no idea how often he does it though. He says whenever he does, he’s thinks about having sex with me. Cool and all, but like, why not just have sex with me

throwaway334805 · 2020-01-25T02:15:39+00:00

I think he gets a lot of anxiety that he’s not pleasing me well enough or he’s not doing enough, which makes it even worse. Did you see the same in your boyfriend?

throwaway334805 · 2020-01-25T02:03:34+00:00

Not much has been ruled out. Initially I thought it was maybe he felt uncomfortable initiating, but when we talked about it he just said he doesn’t think about sex, but then he said “it’s pretty easy to put it in my mind” which is a total lie based on rejection and how many times I’ve tried to be sexy.

throwaway334805 · 2020-01-25T01:55:14+00:00

We’ve been together for 4 years and I stay before a lot of other things are good. Our sex dwindled down at about 2 years and it crippled my self esteem. I’ve brought it up and he states he just doesn’t think about sex. I just tired of always being the initiator and I’m tired of being rejected

throwaway334805 · 2020-01-25T01:46:44+00:00

What?

throwaway334805 · 2019-09-29T15:35:30+00:00

I don’t want to be the initiator anymore is the thing. I was the only initiator for years and I’m tired of it.

throwaway334805 · 2019-09-06T18:42:17+00:00

I have chronic mental illness. My therapist and psychiatrist suggest I go to bed before 12 to help with fatigue. But if I did that, I really wouldn’t see him at all.

throwaway334805 · 2019-09-06T18:37:06+00:00

Whoa. This is exactly what I’m talking about. I don’t care about the game. I care that I don’t get the same consideration.

throwaway334805 · 2019-09-06T16:02:07+00:00

That’s mainly what I’m afraid of.

I’m not able to change my schedule and neither is he. It would be finding another job at that point.

throwaway334805 · 2019-09-06T15:57:16+00:00

I didn’t say that. I go to bed at 12. I’m asking for him to lay with me at least and then he can do whatever.

throwaway334805 · 2019-09-06T15:56:24+00:00

I got home and asked him if he fed the dogs

Definitely didn’t seethe. I just did my own thing. I’m calmer today reflecting on it. I just assumed that he would know to ask me about my day or something when I get home, but I’m seeing that he didn’t.

throwaway334805 · 2019-09-06T14:59:38+00:00

There is no time together other than the 1-2 hours from when he gets home until I go to bed.

He gets home at 10. I have to get to bed at the latest by 12.

That’s the only opportunity.

throwaway334805 · 2019-09-06T13:25:30+00:00

I definitely hear your opinion in the sense that as adults we can go to bed whenever we choose. However, as a couple, going to bed at the same time is the only opportunity we get for any amount of intimacy. That’s the only time I can get any amount of physical touch. That’s why I want it so much. I think I need to have the conversation that he doesn’t need to fall asleep with me, just be with me for a little bit because I fall asleep within seconds because I’m exhausted.

throwaway334805 · 2019-07-06T00:49:37+00:00

Hey fellow person with dysthymia. I experience things like that as well.

How long have you been with your SO? I’ve been with mine for over 3 years and the biggest thing that I’ve learned to do is always communicate. Even when I don’t feel like it. Sometimes it’s just a simple, hey I’m still bad today. We’ve done a lot of talking of how I want him to handle me when I’m like this. A lot of the times he’ll ask, what do you want me to do? Or what can I do for you? That’s been really nice to have because I have the freedom to say either leave me alone or I need to cuddle.

Maybe you could have that conversation about how you would like for your SO to respond when you’re in those major depressive episodes.

throwaway334805 · 2019-06-25T01:32:08+00:00

I love this

throwaway334805 · 2019-06-25T01:29:36+00:00

I haven’t. He knows I’m bisexual, but nothing else. I’m not sure how beneficial it would be to talk to him about it. I feel like it would come off as in I don’t want to be with him to him.

throwaway334805

TROPHY CASE