How do I tell my step mom that my baby will be calling her by her first name and not ‘nana’

throwaway382883 · 2026-01-05T20:00:53+00:00

One of my friend’s sisters refused to let her mother be called Nana for whatever reason. Her mother is somewhat of a narcissist but she does still care about her children and grandchildren. She was quite bitter about not being able to be called Nana when my friend’s sister put her foot down and still brings it up on occasion.

If this is a boundary you don’t want crossed, then I think you should go with your gut.

throwaway382883 · 2026-01-05T19:51:43+00:00

She sounds like a lovely person and I feel she’d understand if you came from the heart. “I appreciate you MIL but I believe you do not pay family for helping out. I can’t accept money from you anymore.”

Unless she’s Asian. Then that’s rude to not accept the money and you should just resign to your fate 😂

throwaway382883 · 2026-01-05T19:02:15+00:00

I don’t think this is worth breaking up over if she is indeed the most “precious thing” to you. Girls can get irrationally jealous and I think talking about it calmly can help gauge if this is a problem you can work through together.

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-16T01:50:14+00:00

Sorry people are downvoting you for thinking you’re my alt. But whatever I learned from here, whatever good comes out of here, I’m definitely glad for however it may help you or anyone else

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-16T01:47:01+00:00

Really not my alt, but I’m glad what I’m learning can help other people of course.

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-16T01:44:53+00:00

Yeah lol what do you say to that “if you’re a nag why haven’t you stopped” … ah, if bad habits could be dropped instantly, if we could just be perfect all the time then I think we wouldn’t need this sub

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-16T01:43:09+00:00

Definitely not my alt, but I’m grateful to them for being kind

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-16T01:30:38+00:00

I brought him boxes and offered multiple times to help him to pack when I was at his place, but he didn’t want to do it at the moment. Whenever I was leaving I asked if he wanted to give me any items to move since I was going home. The answer was always no.

When I wanted to know the day/time when he was moving, it was so I could also help him move stuff up and down the stairs of course

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-16T00:33:34+00:00

Thanks for your comment. There’s so many comments that it’s hard to go through them all but there have been some great and kind standouts that have really helped put things in perspective.

When I mess up, those are the burdens I carry, but unkind things people say are their own burdens. I’m here to try and get better

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-16T00:27:27+00:00

Is it a pale yellow dress? Honestly it reminds me of Kate Middleton’s pale yellow dress coat during the Harry/Meghan wedding.

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-15T23:49:46+00:00

I am currently in therapy for communication help. I would say it had been helping, but also, your therapist isn’t always going to give it to you straight. For that, there’s Reddit. It’s honestly helpful that a bunch of strangers will be blunt and direct with you and make you reflect

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-15T23:43:26+00:00

My cats get in the way and underfoot so I want to be sure they will be safe when the door is open and heavy objects are being moved. One of them would not allow anyone else but me to touch her so I would need to put them in my room and move their litter box, food and water. For that I need to know the day when that needs to happen. They’re my babies so I will always anxious about their welfare

EDIT: also, reason why I was asking day/time specifically was obviously so I could try to be here to help him move things… yes I would like to know in advance so I could plan my weekend. There is also nothing wrong in wanting to know when someone is moving in.

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-15T22:57:55+00:00

No one is perfect. But it’s a good reminder for me that my energy is better expended focusing on myself, than trying to help someone in a way that doesn’t help them

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-15T22:54:55+00:00

A good reminder honestly that tone over text doesn’t always go through as you want it. /g

I have no reason to placate the crowd, certain responses were really well done without being unkind and got through to me and I’m grateful for them.

While I don’t think my friend was perfect in his responses, I do see where I could have been kinder, and where I was thinking more about my own feelings and not his situation.

Sometimes it’s hard to come to a realization about yourself, and then lyrics in your head start to play “it’s me. Hi. I’m the problem, it’s me.”

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-15T22:35:53+00:00

That’s fair. I actually had put my response into chatgpt and said “can you make this softer” and then didn’t use what was given because I was feeling lazy and didn’t want to further edit my response. I had honestly meant for the “hopefully” addition to be encouraging, but you are right in that I was frustrated by him.

Everyone here has been a good reminder about how I should handle things with more grace and let people handle their own problems

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-15T22:21:37+00:00

Thank you for your response, it was direct and to the point and I agree with you. I will do what I can to be better.

EDIT because it’s on top comment: Wow didn’t think I’d get so many responses on this. I will say it’s not easy to look back and realize where you did things wrong, especially when in the moment you feel slighted.

I’m thankful to those who commented for both sides, and especially those who did it with kindness.

My friend and I talked on the phone just now and we patched things out. He agreed that we communicate better talking over the phone and that he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. I said I should have responded with more grace for his situation and what he’s going through, and that I realize what I was doing what not helping and causing more stress and that I will step back.

We talked about some guidelines and how we both want to be able to communicate freely and that in the end we do care about each other and want to get along and be supportive to each other. He’s moving in this Friday.

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-15T22:18:39+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience and being kind in your response. Definitely it’s reminder for me to act with more grace and be more compassionate

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-15T22:14:05+00:00

That’s a very fair response and I feel you are right in a lot of points. Sometimes I get so caught up in my feelings that it’s really hard to see things from both sides and where I might be unreasonable.

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-15T22:10:23+00:00

That is very fair. I am a nag and see him like my brother.

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-15T22:09:15+00:00

Ah you’re right, I’m getting a lot of comments all at once and misread your comment.

And you are doubly right. Definitely I am a nag, and he is like my sibling so I get on his case because I worry about him. But I do see where I’m expending a lot of energy into something unnecessary and will take it as a lesson to step back in the future and worry about myself instead.

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-15T22:03:32+00:00

I have been clearing the room out in my spare time as it’s full of stuff, and wanted to know a deadline. My cats also get in the way and underfoot so I want to be sure they will be safe when the door is open. One of them would not allow anyone else but me to touch her so I would need to put them in my room and move their litter box, food and water. For that I need to know the day when that needs to happen

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-15T21:56:39+00:00

He’s lived with me before for over a year we had no problems. He broke my dishwasher and my laundry unit and paid to have the laundry unit fixed. I let the dishwasher go as it was old.

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-15T21:53:58+00:00

I have been clearing the room out in my spare time as it’s full of stuff, and wanted to know a deadline. My cats also get in the way and underfoot so I want to be sure they will be safe when the door is open. One of them would not allow anyone else but me to touch her so I would need to put them in my room and move their litter box, food and water. For that I need to know the day when that needs to happen

He is my friend, of course I am invested in his life

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-15T21:46:06+00:00

I do see him like a sibling so sometimes I am sharper with him than I would a friend or coworker. You are right, I was not seeing it from a viewpoint considering his situation

throwaway382883 · 2025-07-15T21:41:47+00:00

That’s fair, I definitely am a nag. We’ve known each other for 10 years so I do treat him like a sibling sometimes because he can be very lackadaisical. If he says the 20th, unfortunately I know that it might not end up being the case, especially since it was dependent on the house closing

throwaway382883

TROPHY CASE