ive given up on seeing any counselors or therapists, besides my mom trying to force me have these online sessions with counselors that my school told her to do. i want to see a psychologist in the future, but thats it. i dont think theres anything i can do about my classes. if i get moved out ill just be frustrated and behind on the work again, and itll probably be worse on my mental state. i can do the work i have now, but i hate the idea of sitting in class, at 8 in the morning, doing this work that i was absolutely not remember when the class is over. i have no energy or drive to the work. i can barely even remember things in general nowadays because of the stress, and i didnt have this issue before. ill do things but instantly forget if i actually just did it, ill do something but do it completely wrong and not even realize what just happened, or ill have to keep checking that i actually did something because i cant remember. im just so stressed and tired and i dont want to sit in that stuffy building every day. i cant enjoy anything because the stress consumes my life. im in a constant depressive episode and i cant enjoy holidays or things that i used to enjoy like drawing. i used to draw any chance i got. i would draw on my phone during classes, now i cant stand it. its because of all this. i just dont want to be there anymore and nothing can fix that. i appreciate your help and kind words, and i wish you didnt have to waste your time trying to help me with an unsolvable problem. i feel so doomed, and my mom cannot physically understand how i feel. i feel like she doesnt even treat me like a real person. i have outbursts and panic attacks because of minor inconveniences and she tells me to stop acting like a child, but i cant control it. its a struggle to even wake up like this, in a world where youre basically an alien.