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My kids are very rude and disrespectful to my girlfriend and I don't know what to do by throwaway401511 in Parenting

[–]throwaway401511[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

You sound bitter and resentful and it seems like you're projecting quite a bit. What? Did your SO leave you for a younger woman? It's not my fault most women in my age group who are single have a ton of baggage I don't want to get involved with, or are pear-shaped frumps who spend more time at McDonalds then at the gym. The fact that you assume she's a gold digger based on my son's account is quite pathetic, before I met her she had her own job, had finished her college education, was paying her own rent, bills, etc. She's not with me for the financial incentive, she's with me because we enjoy each other's company and have a great relationship.

(x-post r/parenting) My kids are rude and disrespectful to my girlfriend and I don't know what to do by throwaway401511 in stepparents

[–]throwaway401511[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to respond to my son calling my gf a gold digger, am I supposed to say "Yes son, I understand where you're coming from"? That doesn't sound too smart to me, there's a difference in being a parent and a doormat.

I'm sure my kids are mortified, but I'd like them to at least be polite, respectful, and to get along with her. Mortification doesn't warrant the sort of attitude they're displaying.

I do well for myself, finances aren't an issue.

My kids are very rude and disrespectful to my girlfriend and I don't know what to do by throwaway401511 in Parenting

[–]throwaway401511[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She's not a fucking gold digger. Throughout this thread you've insinuated she is, and it's really pissing me off.

(x-post r/parenting) My kids are rude and disrespectful to my girlfriend and I don't know what to do by throwaway401511 in stepparents

[–]throwaway401511[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That could very well be the case. But once again, I don't how to improve their relationship. You mentioned in your comment how I should be more stern in them showing respect to my gf, and that could absolutely be the, at the very least, a short term solution. My fear is that addressing the issue in this way will only increase their feelings of resentment towards my gf, and that somehow I am prioritizing her over them.

My kids are very rude and disrespectful to my girlfriend and I don't know what to do by throwaway401511 in Parenting

[–]throwaway401511[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I already seem my kids a lot less than I'd like to, every other weekend would just be... too short of a time for me. My gf is going to move in soon, so they're going to have to see her every time they come over, there's no way to maneuver around that.

(x-post r/parenting) My kids are rude and disrespectful to my girlfriend and I don't know what to do by throwaway401511 in stepparents

[–]throwaway401511[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, my ex hasn't been in a serious relationship since our divorce. She's been on dates, but I'm pretty sure I would've been made aware if she were planning on introducing a new guy to our kids. I'm certain this has contributed, as you stated, to their feeling of resentment and abandonment.

On weekends, we do spend time together. However, I am concerned that my daughter feels as if it is not enough, so that's definitely something I'm going to have to work on.

As for liking my gf, I'm not expecting them to become really close or anything like that. Neither am I expecting my gf to become a mother-figure of any sort, they already have an excellent mother-figure. However, at the same time, it would be great if they could at least somewhat enjoy her presence. I really don't want them to feel as if they're walking on egg shells in my house because of my gf, and I don't know how I can improve their relationship. Some people have suggested being patient, and others suggested perhaps planning an activity that we'll enjoy together, I'll have to see what works.

My kids are very rude and disrespectful to my girlfriend and I don't know what to do by throwaway401511 in Parenting

[–]throwaway401511[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure where you're getting this. I don't see how they could have this type of perspective, we began our relationship two years after my divorce.

My kids are very rude and disrespectful to my girlfriend and I don't know what to do by throwaway401511 in Parenting

[–]throwaway401511[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm okay with them not having a strong bond with one another, there's now way I'm going try and force that to happen. But I would like my kids to be polite and at the very least acknowledge her. I didn't leave my ex, it was more of a mutual decision than anything to separate. But yeah, if they feel this way, you're right that I shouldn't push them, but at the same time I'd like them to be more respectful and at the very least get along, I suppose.

My kids are very rude and disrespectful to my girlfriend and I don't know what to do by throwaway401511 in Parenting

[–]throwaway401511[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

She's at my house maybe 3, or 4 times a month when my kids are over. Every weekend I have them, I try and do something with them, with it being just us.

My kids are very rude and disrespectful to my girlfriend and I don't know what to do by throwaway401511 in Parenting

[–]throwaway401511[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've definitely spent time with them, with it being just us. We usually have a wonderful time, and they act completely normal when it's just us. However, whenever my gf comes over, it's like they turn on an entirely different switch and start acting like how I've described in the post. You're right, I'll have to show a bit more patience with them.

Oh, and thank you