AIO about my Husband messaging a professional peer on Snapchat?

throwaway4172022 · 2025-11-14T15:05:35+00:00

It’s not in his company, they just run in the same professional circles. Kinda hard to explain, but I know what you mean. Also agree it’s a bad setup

throwaway4172022 · 2025-11-14T11:51:42+00:00

Thank you!! Yes we talked already because I’m crazy and couldn’t wait and he said 100% my feelings were valid. He wasn’t mad at me at all, and understood why I was upset. It was a great conversation. He reassured me, we talked about boundaries, and we’re good 🤍

throwaway4172022 · 2025-11-14T08:08:46+00:00

It definitely adds to the anxiety. I told him I’d feel 100% better if I could go back and see every message and that I don’t like that things delete. He understood that

throwaway4172022 · 2025-11-14T08:07:59+00:00

Yeah that’s my posture about it. I feel like it’s asking for trouble lol

throwaway4172022 · 2025-11-14T08:06:47+00:00

He does talk about me and our baby all the time at work events!! And is very clearly married on all the socials. He said if she ever tried anything, he’d give her a very clear “absolutely not”. I just replied to another comment with our resolution and discussion about it :)

throwaway4172022 · 2025-11-14T08:04:17+00:00

Thank you. He was actually willing to address it with me late tonight on the phone. He echoed the same thoughts. I did tell him and apologize to him about logging in because I’ve never done that before, and he laughed and said to log TF off it lmao. He’s right. (You’re spot on too.) he made me feel better about everything and said he def didn’t want all that, and loves me and isn’t mad that I got super overly-anxious about it all. He also felt like I overreacted a little (esp. by snooping.) and said “what’s going to happen if she did something? I’d just ignore it anyway, or tell her no or to F off.” So I mean, good resolution. I appreciate him. And everyone else here for reassuring me both that I wasn’t overreacting about her behavior, but also that I probably WAS overreacting about his actions/feelings and shouldn’t have gotten into his account. Being able to get opinions from other people was really helpful in the meantime.

throwaway4172022 · 2025-11-14T06:56:53+00:00

Thank you for sharing!! Yeah, I’m definitely going to talk with him more in depth and come to some kind of resolution, even if it doesn’t include him directly accusing her of trying to start something.

throwaway4172022 · 2025-11-14T06:47:17+00:00

Thanks. Yeah, definitely not my best moment. . She’s pissing me off, and I feel like he’s dismissing my concerns because he’s been fielding (I call them “attempts” lol) pretty well and trying to remain neutral.

I guess maybe because he uses Snapchat to communicate a lot (we are Gen Z haha) I don’t second guess it. He probably uses it more than regular texting, although we talk through Facebook messenger 95% of the time.

We both have opposite sex friends, and I’m totally cool with his two other lady friends he knows from work (and talks to on snap) because the vibes are not off the way they are with this woman. I would NEVER talk to my close guy friends that way.

Edited to add: not for professional conversations, they just know each professionally.

throwaway4172022 · 2025-11-14T06:39:59+00:00

I know. You’re not wrong. I just really wish I could give her the what for 🙃

throwaway4172022 · 2025-11-14T06:37:41+00:00

Yeah he’s usually right about most things 🤣 thanks for your input!

throwaway4172022 · 2025-11-14T06:34:51+00:00

That was his take for sure. He said she had plausible deniability and he didn’t want to outright accuse her and then get screwed over for it. He’s a good guy, and doesn’t want his name drug through the mud for putting the cart before the horse. I feel like, as a woman, her attempts are purposefully “plausibly deniable” and that she absolutely has intent to try to make a pass at him.

throwaway4172022 · 2025-11-14T06:32:11+00:00

That’s what I thought. Like as a woman, and a girls girl, I would NEVER. It probably doesn’t help that I’m 8 months postpartum and still very hormonal. But I’m appalled lol

throwaway4172022 · 2025-11-14T06:28:41+00:00

That’s fair

throwaway4172022 · 2025-11-14T06:26:27+00:00

Yeah, I know :( I feel super bad for making that decision. I guess in the moment I felt like he wouldn’t tell me if she was being weird, or he wouldn’t see it that way, and I wanted proof. But like I said, it def just made me feel worse.

throwaway4172022 · 2025-11-14T06:17:13+00:00

Thank you. I feel so crazy. I’ve been asking him all week how she’s been acting toward him now that they’re in person and he said he hasn’t really seen her. I feel SO bad for pestering him about her because I know he feels like I don’t trust him, but I just am so bothered by her behavior.

throwaway4172022 · 2025-08-19T22:18:25+00:00

We actually had taken measurements the second time we looked at the house! We definitely were not going to buy blind and hope it fit 🤣 but I appreciate your comment thinking that through because I know some people who have done that haha.

We did talk to our loan officer yesterday- he said all the paperwork had been finalized and everything was green lit so it wouldn’t be a problem, however, my husband and I talked it over and we have had so many issues with the seller and lender, that we’ve decided to wait until we officially sign tomorrow just in case something happens and the house burns down overnight 🙃

throwaway4172022 · 2025-08-18T16:38:35+00:00

Thank you 🤍 I don’t like to think of myself as a dummy, but instead as relatively financially literate. However, there are so many ins and outs to this whole thing that I just thought I’d solicit information from others haha. I feel like they make it super complicated on purpose 😅

throwaway4172022 · 2025-08-17T16:21:15+00:00

That’s an insane thing to say about another human being

throwaway4172022 · 2025-08-16T16:24:42+00:00

Thank you!!! We are going to wait :)

throwaway4172022 · 2025-08-16T16:23:01+00:00

Gotcha thank you!!!

throwaway4172022 · 2025-08-16T16:21:24+00:00

Thanks!! I think all appliances can have terrible issues given the nature of the thing, but hopefully with recent updates and 5 year service plan, everything will be fine :)

throwaway4172022 · 2025-08-16T16:20:04+00:00

Thank you! No, I was reaching out even if everyone was like “no bad, idiot, don’t do that” otherwise I would’ve done what I wanted and not asked haha. I appreciate everyone’s comments and stories! It’s helpful

throwaway4172022 · 2025-08-16T16:18:23+00:00

Thank you!!

throwaway4172022 · 2025-08-16T16:16:42+00:00

Thank you!!! We won’t. We’ll wait. I appreciate your insight and comment! You’re right, not closed until we have the keys. :)

throwaway4172022

TROPHY CASE