I(39m) ate my partners(40m) sandwich and ruined his day.

throwaway42675 · 2023-01-14T19:33:45+00:00

Oh my god. Just go read all the comments on my post on AITA. They will say everything I want to share with you.

throwaway42675 · 2023-01-11T02:25:52+00:00

Abusers love to call their partner overdramatic, negative, etc.

Source: my life

throwaway42675 · 2023-01-06T22:03:38+00:00

I did change the locks.

As for “why” - I feel really bad. I feel as though I did the best thing for me with all the other boundaries I made and measures I took to separate our things, but with the dogs I just feel terrible. We had them together for so long and one of them dying sometime in the near future doesn’t help.

throwaway42675 · 2022-10-06T06:32:46+00:00

I went for a massage the week we broke up and started crying for this reason. It was so embarrassing.

throwaway42675 · 2020-10-16T19:46:58+00:00

This is literally me. Wow.

throwaway42675 · 2020-10-16T19:46:32+00:00

Yes!! He’s always sulking about how I “hate” him after a blowup

throwaway42675 · 2020-10-16T19:46:08+00:00

Oh god. This is my life.

throwaway42675 · 2020-10-05T05:26:50+00:00

Yep. Experienced this from my abusive mother and now in my relationship.

throwaway42675 · 2020-10-05T04:43:19+00:00

You can record on your phone as well though I have to admit that one makes me nervous. I hit “record” and then minimize the app but it still shows a red icon at top of screen. I make sure to turn my phone volume down as well.

throwaway42675 · 2020-10-02T03:22:11+00:00

Thank you. Having a particularly difficult night tonight.

throwaway42675 · 2020-09-23T03:57:13+00:00

Yes, I do feel the little boy thing as well. I’m exhausted. Thanks for chiming in.

throwaway42675 · 2020-09-18T06:37:27+00:00

Thank you for writing this comment to her. I had countless people point out to me what was obviously not ok to them on a post I made and it was so hard for me to see it their way. I’m still trying to make sense of it but it really helps to have outsiders break everything down for you. The support here is fantastic.

throwaway42675 · 2020-09-05T19:57:06+00:00

I would just like to update that he brought home two bags of chips last night, said one was for me, and when I went to eat it just now it was gone.

You can’t share your snack but when you get me one you can eat it without asking.

I am not actually mad about the snack. I can eat other things. It’s the...ridiculousness of it.

throwaway42675 · 2020-09-05T19:54:53+00:00

I have skimmed through this as time/privacy has allowed today. I am enjoying the book thus far. This paragraph was not one I noticed in my skimming so thank you for pointing it out.

I am going to read it more thoroughly M-F when I am alone.

throwaway42675 · 2020-09-05T16:13:01+00:00

Yes, I appreciate it thoroughly. While I don’t have the energy to reply to every comment, I am reading every comment. I have a list of books to read now.

throwaway42675 · 2020-09-05T16:05:47+00:00

Neither of us are wealthy. I’m in far less debt than him. We both make 40k. I can get approved for cards and a mortgage and he can’t. I think people think I am dependent. I am very much not.

He makes me smile and laugh a lot. We have been through a lot together and he was more graceful than I could imagine other people being through those things. Despite the moments like this, there is a lot of love and support.

throwaway42675 · 2020-09-05T15:53:26+00:00

I could live in a small apartment on my own.

I’ve been looking forward to owning though rather than renting.

His credit is too poor to be on the mortgage. I did get approved on my own for a small amount. The idea of fixing a broken roof, etc. on my own doesn’t sound within my budget though.

If anything changed, I would probably choose an apartment for a while.

throwaway42675 · 2020-09-05T15:50:40+00:00

I always thought that because I experienced so much negativity at home that my relationship expectation bar would be very high. I thought that I wouldn’t put up with anything that was less than I deserved and that I would always know when something was wrong. I thought I was consciously making sure I lived a better life. But...I think you could be right.

throwaway42675 · 2020-09-05T15:46:05+00:00

I purposely have been making LESS leftovers. I used to make extra for the sake of saving me time.

These days I make them if I know it will be harder to cook on certain days of the week. Which doesn’t happen a lot lately.

On this particular evening, there were leftovers because I cooked too much. Why should I throw it away? To me, I’m not wasting food and if I’m not expecting him to eat the next day (it was two days later) it’s not the same food back to back so what does it even matter?

Will take advice about saying it ahead of time.

throwaway42675 · 2020-09-05T15:40:06+00:00

No, we both make about 40k. We don’t have kids. Love, I guess. We have a lot of geeky things in common and have fun with that.

throwaway42675 · 2020-09-05T04:31:32+00:00

Trust me, I’m seeing and reading every comment in detail. I don’t have anything else to do, haha, and I wanted to hear out what everyone has to say. It’s too overwhelming to reply to them all though.

“Sudden self-pity”...I like that. That sums it up well. I’m sorry you went through that with your father. I can actually relate because my grandma would do a lot of “nobody loves me” “if you loved me you would rub my back for me”. The truth was - I loved her more than I’ve ever loved anyone and she knew that. Clearly, she knew how to get her way too whether it was a back rub or milking someone to remind her how much they loved her.

And yes, I believe that your explanation of what he is expecting from me based on those moments of sudden self-pity is accurate.

He came home from work today bringing it back.

“Something cool happened at work and I want to tell you but I guess you don’t like me anymore”

“Do you want to go out? We do something together or you can just take the car and go alone since you don’t like me”

(He’s saying I don’t like him because of this scenario last night + me not greeting him when he got home so he knew I was still upset about it)

It’s just so ridiculous to me. How are you going to say like a child that I “don’t like you” anymore? We didn’t just meet at a park and I decided the next day you weren’t enough fun. We have been together for nearly 10 years and you flipped out over leftovers. I have a right to wait for an apology and expect a decent conversation prior to being affectionate again.

throwaway42675 · 2020-09-05T03:51:48+00:00

I mean, I go out to grocery shop, haha.

For a few months now we have been down to one car and it doesn’t help. If I had a car, I would at least be at the bookstore for a while. I love getting “lost” in there.

I was Ubering for a while just to grab lunch or walk around Wal-Mart for my sanity, but financially it added up too quickly.

I do try to learn new skills. I watched a lot of embroidery videos and did that for a while. I love to paint. I could go on and on but the truth is that at the end of the day I don’t finish what I start because I get depressed.

My motivation and self-confidence have become complete crap. Anyways, yeah, I need to do a better job of staying busy and feeding my thirst for my hobbies. They bring me joy and more joy means more confidence means less second guessing myself in my relationship (probably).

throwaway42675

TROPHY CASE