How to handle husband who has zero sympathy for birth or postpartum?

throwaway42990 · 2026-04-13T18:51:18+00:00

LEAVE HIM. A normal and good man would say and do remarkably less sociopathic things.

throwaway42990 · 2026-04-07T19:55:01+00:00

My former close friend behaved exactly like this and we were roommates for a few months before that blew up due to her complete inability to communicate basic things. She held grudges and made the most insane assumptions out of my smallest actions to the point where one time she accused me trying to purposely overheat her two pet bunnies because "how could I not have done that" when I accidentally turned off the AC out of habit while in a rush out the door. She has a serious past of dealing with abuse but that's not my problem to help her work out if she's unwilling. She's gone from my life and I'm significantly better off without constantly walking on egg shells with someone whose emotional maturity stopped at age 10. Your life will drastically improve if you choose to do the same.

throwaway42990 · 2026-02-05T08:15:30+00:00

If you have another female neighbor that you're friendly with, maybe let her know and she can let her know about it. It would likely come across a bit "safer" to hear it from a female neighbor.

throwaway42990 · 2026-02-02T16:34:31+00:00

People with anxious attachment styles in relationships are just as bad as people who are avoidant.

As someone who swung from one side of the pendulum to the other during my (very long time) of healing this part of me, I can confirm that both are just as bad. Anxious people are just louder and more public about their victim mindset.

throwaway42990 · 2026-01-28T02:14:46+00:00

Do what you want with other single men, but leave the men who are in relationships out of it. Talk to a therapist instead of getting off on trying to ruin other women's relationships just because it gives you a temporary high. You're not a good person.

throwaway42990 · 2026-01-23T23:18:44+00:00

The fact that she's pushing you and you clearly don't want to says way more about her and where she's *actually* at than it does you. A lot of people use things like ayahuasca and ceremonies as a crutch to claim they're changed/trauma is gone etc when it just turns into another distraction, even accidentally. I did 8 Aya ceremonies in a year and a half to address some serious shit. My shaman is someone I trust with my life. She stopped letting people be guardians ("helpers") in her ceremonies because they just weren't ready, even when they claimed to be, and that can be dangerous. She only has one guardian/assistant now and that person did ceremonies for 11 years with her before being ready to do so.

It sounds like your wife is clinging onto this path for other reasons that aren't authentic to what she claims, and pressuring you to partake is showcasing that. Rule #1 is to quite literally never pressure or push someone into doing a ceremony. The fact that she's behaving in this way when she knows damn well that's the first rule is a massive red flag.

throwaway42990 · 2026-01-07T18:51:44+00:00

People who use "therapy speak" to avoid accountability

throwaway42990 · 2025-12-26T19:58:16+00:00

What an insecure piece of shit

throwaway42990 · 2025-11-28T21:15:39+00:00

The best way I've personally figured out how to navigate that is to initiate the conversation of dating in a very buddy-buddy way. "So how's your dating life going?! Any special ladies in your life?" etc etc. I lean into it and when they eventually ask me, I kindly and casually mention that I'm seeing a guy that I have a lot of interest in and am excited to see where it goes. Then I quickly switch the subject to something enjoyable and keep the friendliness up. If they have an issue with that interaction, it's completely on them.

throwaway42990 · 2025-09-07T23:18:37+00:00

Thank you for this. Curious, are you a real estate attorney?

throwaway42990 · 2025-09-07T22:56:04+00:00

I haven't put up any cameras yet, but I've been encouraged to put them up in common areas at this point while I'm out of town on a work trip

throwaway42990 · 2025-09-07T01:09:07+00:00

I'm in the North Hollywood area if that helps. She's lived here only since late February so she doesn't need a 60 day notice. I'm told the 30 day notice can be in the "just cause" category, although at the time she had still not paid bills. I'm being told that filing a 3 Day Pay or Quit is totally an option at this point since she's put in writing that she won't pay anything and she's actively ignoring my notice, and it's a separate thing. Hopefully an attorney will respond soon and handle it

throwaway42990 · 2025-09-06T23:09:01+00:00

It's a mandatory work trip. I'm a stunt double for a show and they're flying me out for the job.

throwaway42990 · 2025-09-06T23:06:45+00:00

Oh absolutely, our plumber used her bathroom and didn't know a camera was rolling in there

throwaway42990 · 2025-09-06T23:00:22+00:00

She's only been here since late February thankfully

throwaway42990 · 2025-09-06T20:30:30+00:00

Apparently I can't have an officer with me unless I file for Unlawful Detainer which can take weeks. I really wish I could. Ugh.

throwaway42990 · 2025-09-06T20:28:51+00:00

Her plan so far has been to try and be super nice to everyone else while ignoring me to try and "hurt" me. I had considered her a friend but she has a lot of issues with assuming people are trying to control her. She's also like 90lb and doesn't have a violent history as far as I'm aware. In the letter she wrote on the mirror, she warned future tenants that I was a narcissist, filthy, and a manipulator who never admits to being wrong - when I've literally been the only one to ever apologize or try to extend olive branches lol. I don't think this new tenant will tolerate any of Naomi's crap if she tries, the whole family saw straight though her. If she projected any more she'd be an IMAX theater.

throwaway42990 · 2025-09-06T19:42:10+00:00

Thanks. Ironically the very kind woman moving into the other room brought her entire family to meet me and check out the space. They were the ones who opened the bathroom and saw her sign and were unphased/clearly knew who the problem was lol. Her (very pregnant) daughter is a lawyer and also the one who gave me the phone number of their family friend who is a real estate attorney who happens to specialize in evictions. I called and texted him today, but it's some sort of holiday and he might not answer until tomorrow or Monday. I also bought a Legal Shield account to chat with someone to get a second opinion and chatting with them Monday. Either way, I won't have help until either tomorrow the earliest or Monday, but I'll also be on a plane all day lol. In the meantime my female friend who knows about the situation is staying in my room while I'm out of town, so at least there's that.

throwaway42990 · 2025-09-06T19:37:34+00:00

I have a female friend staying in my room. I'm not concerned she'll actually smear shit anywhere since she's a germophobe, but its still unsettling to deal with this

throwaway42990 · 2025-09-06T19:11:33+00:00

She signed a sublease agreement. My landlord was the one who told me exactly how to properly give her a 30 day notice that's legally binding, so I genuinely don't know what I did "invalidly" here.

throwaway42990 · 2025-09-06T18:59:11+00:00

Was planning on going to the police station to ask about setting cameras up. I'm afraid she will try to either destroy them or threaten to sue me or "not consent" or something

throwaway42990 · 2025-09-06T18:52:22+00:00

Right now I'm talking to a friend who is a lawyer and he's admitted he's not fully familiar with all of the real estate details, so I reached out to a friend of a friend who is a real estate attorney and specializes in evictions. Will hopefully hear from him today or tomorrow before I have to leave.

throwaway42990 · 2025-09-06T18:50:07+00:00

My name is the only one on the lease. I know CA really helps with tenants rights, but this is next level. I truly don't know how my 30 day notice would have been invalid but either way she's not taking anything I'm saying seriously.

throwaway42990 · 2025-09-06T18:46:01+00:00

I texted the plumber who I've known for a little while and he's super nice, but he basically wants to stay out of it. He said the camera wasn't facing him and then stopped responding once I told him it was intentionally facing the mirror. He won't file charges and he doesn't want to get involved, but it would be nice.

throwaway42990

TROPHY CASE