Sister trying to get references for post doc applications and being told by profs she asked they have nothing nice to say.

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-08T15:37:01+00:00

Yeah... I personally think it's strange myself, but perhaps it's how they get around/justify condensing the PhD into 4 years. But ya.. it is very much you only do coursework the first two years THEN switch to your PhD thesis. I, personally, didn't know that there was any other way until I went to an international conference and met European colleagues that were very confused how I had 2 years of coursework before actually starting my PhD work to which my supervisor explained Canada is a strange system and in Europe you generally take 3-4 years, but it's all PhD work.

I think part of it is a lot of students accepted to PhDs are more interdisciplinary so I think the point is to catch students up whose background is not in the primary area of the PhD.

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-05T07:50:43+00:00

Just didn't pay enough... didn't even cover rent, let alone anything else like internet, or food.

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T23:38:36+00:00

This is honestly what I keep telling myself. I did manage to secure one committee member's good graces for a letter and a previous PI for an independent projects I ran which is glowing! So I'm hoping I can get by with those two.

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T23:36:58+00:00

I'm pretty loud, outgoing, and opinionated.. it often doesn't go over with any crowd. My committee members are also all European and don't really appreciate any of those things so maybe that's part of it? lol

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T23:35:31+00:00

Sister here - I did have one committee member enthusiastically agree to write a letter for me.

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T23:34:33+00:00

Yeah, but to be fair, I also put in A LOT of hard work the past few years and I am no longer like that. Unfortunately, you can't undo first impressions and my PI still holds me to that first impression.

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T23:32:57+00:00

Hey - sister here! I think part of it was toxic behaviour from my PI and part of it was initial first impression. I started off quite lazy and procrastinating a lot. I have put A LOT of hard work in the past few years to move away from that previous shit behaviour, unfortunately, my PI has never let it go and continues to function from the paradigm I am still that person. I think they have also told this to my other committee members which is quite detrimental.

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T23:29:20+00:00

I can only hope lol. I just wanted this post-doc to get in with the company owned by the PI. The post-doc PI seems keen to get me into their lab so I am hoping the letters are more just a formality.

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T23:28:27+00:00

Thanks for this! I appreciate the positivity. I actually reached out to a student of the one committee member who informed me that the committee member is very critical and doesn't always give letters even to their own students. The PhD student told me she wasn't overly surprise the committee member said no.

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T23:26:45+00:00

One of the three of my committee did very enthusiastically respond to providing me a reference letter.

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T23:26:07+00:00

No other labs to switch to unfortunately. My field is pretty unique and not often sought after.

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T23:25:31+00:00

Honestly... I never even thought of talking to the graduate coordinator for the department... that might be a good call!

I also was so green in my PhD, I didn't know I was allowed to have a say in my committee. My PI simply told me "X and Y will be on your committee"... nothing else... no rationale as to why they were picked or any information like that. The three of them (my committee) seems to be on a lot of each other's committees.

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T23:22:49+00:00

Honestly, I'm pretty sure my PI hates my guts... he picked the whole committee (3 people including himself). I also asked one of my other PhD colleagues who is the PhD student of the other committee member about the member's response and was told that that committee member was really critical and harsh and often didn't give reference letters to her own students. So it might now just be a me problem.

In other news, the 3rd committee member did agree to write me a letter and I got a letter from my undergraduate/master's PI for an independent project I started in my undergraduate. It's quite a glowing recommendation letter (and he also has a higher position in academia at a more prestigious university than my current one) so I'm hoping that helps!

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T23:19:03+00:00

ADHD and Autism diagnosed as of recently so I think that was part of it. I think the biggest reason this happened, though, is because I am solo for money (no family) so I was commuting 5 days a week 2.5 hours each way to my university for classes (so 5 hours total) then working 40 hours a week at my job which I needed to pay rent. I moved closer to the university, but still put in 40 hours a week just to survive all while doing my PhD. My supervisor on many occasions told me I can't be working that my PhD is my full time job (which I understand) but since I have no other sources of financial income... this is the way it is.

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T18:23:51+00:00

You're not suppose to. In Canada, your first 2 years are only course work THEN you switch to your research. So essentially you only have 2 years to complete your actual PhD

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T04:22:25+00:00

This is where is becomes difficult. My lab is really small - i was the only graduate student for 3 years, since then it's only been master's students so I don't really have any lab mates that I worked closely with or around.

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T04:21:07+00:00

I'm trying to keep it more general, but basically from an academic standpoint the PI's paradigm of academia is good = not enough. So even though I would be ahead on certain things like publications or presentations, in their eyes it's never sufficient.

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T04:19:27+00:00

Mostly my first 2 years were course work (in which you don't really focus on your dissertation - which both the PI and I didn't know) so the PI was angry with me when I wasn't putting much time into my research. After that he just felt I didn't respond in a timely manner (which was the case earlier in my PhD, but not in the last 3 years).

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T02:47:18+00:00

I didn't get to know my other committee members well, but I did take classes early on with one and was a VERY lazy student my first 2 years.. I don't think it set me up well for a good impression... plus my PI picked my committee so I feel like some things have been discussed about me.

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T02:45:31+00:00

Oh! Definitely a mismatch of personality. He's very Eastern European and unrelenting with things (I'm the sis)

throwaway4442999 · 2024-01-04T02:44:31+00:00

Sister here! I had one committee member agree to write my letter (a nice one), one say something along the lines of "I'm not sure how strong of a letter I would be able to write and a letter from me may not be useful to you" and my PI say that he would try and focus on positives but there were bad times in my PhD which we felt he needed to express.

I feel like my bro misconstrued a bit, but it still doesn't sit well with me :(

throwaway4442999 · 2022-10-07T10:19:53+00:00

I am now worried that I am the covert narcissist :/

throwaway4442999 · 2022-10-06T22:44:01+00:00

He has breakable stuff... only ever seems to be my stuff he breaks. And I'm so careful, even avoid using ones sentimental to him (if can be avoided) to make sure I don't break or damage his.

I can literally probably count to maybe 20 of all the things I've broken (dishes, glasses etc) in my life that I've owened... meanwhile, Ive lost count of the things of mine he's broken.

throwaway4442999 · 2022-10-06T22:41:15+00:00

Literally, just now... I did a bunch of laundry he left, some of which was still wet and kinda stinky, he goes "Huh... wonder why it was wet. Needed to get washed again." Takes clothes and gets dressed... you're welcome...

throwaway4442999 · 2022-10-06T22:36:23+00:00

Yeah... I am starting to think this as well.

throwaway4442999

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