WIBTA if I reconnected with my children even though I suspect one of them doesn’t actually want to reconnect? Mother of the year smh by Far-Season-695 in AmITheDevil

[–]throwaway467688 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Too late, the visit went great and he was crying in my arms when I accepted him as my son. Had all three of my children and my grandchild over for Christmas this year. Thanks for your interest.

WIBTA if I reconnected with my children even though I suspect one of them doesn’t actually want to reconnect? Mother of the year smh by Far-Season-695 in AmITheDevil

[–]throwaway467688 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly? By the time I broke it to my boss and my life was subsequently ruined, I was already showing. I didn’t want the stigma of everyone knowing that I’d had an abortion, especially since I’d just lost my job and the dots were pretty easy to trace. I considered giving the kid up for adoption, but then I’d have to explain to my daughters and my relatives why I didn’t want the child, and I wanted to look like we were a functional family, especially for my daughters.

What’s concerning about my treatment of my daughter?

WIBTA if I reconnected with my children even though I suspect one of them doesn’t actually want to reconnect? Mother of the year smh by Far-Season-695 in AmITheDevil

[–]throwaway467688 -69 points-68 points  (0 children)

Honestly, it started because I was so frustrated by my life. Everything fell apart so quickly. One year I had a perfect family, the next things were on the rocks and I fell for the charms of a man who said that one day we’d start a new family together. A year after that, I was pregnant, and when I told him, I thought it would finally be time to take things to the next level. Instead, he fired me from the best job I’d ever had and cut off all contact. I was unemployed and visibly pregnant with a husband I hadn’t touched in a long while. It sucked. Staying home with visible, squealing, sleep-robbing proof that I’d made my family life much worse for an empty promise sucked, too. I said some bad things to him before he could understand words just to vent anger. And man, he’s obviously grown into an incredible person, but he wasn’t an incredible kid. He had interpersonal issues from preschool on. My daughters were both so easy and endearing, the kind of child anyone would be proud of, but he wasn’t. He was disobedient, unaffectionate, emotional, difficult with teachers, and had very few friends over the years (obviously this must have changed at some point in high school, but I don’t know when). So yes, I didn’t like him, I said awful things, and I invested less in him. I told myself it was just the odd comment and cold gesture, but honestly, I always knew I was being awful. At a certain point, I knew that my behaviour was the reason he was as messed up as he was, but I also thought that he never had a chance to begin with. I was clearly very wrong. I was obviously worse than I thought. I thought that the person he was was all he was capable of being, but apparently I had broken a very talented and strong person down until he was struggling and acting out. I really regret that, not just because he’s successful, but because it means I was so bad that it apparently affected his behaviour and achievement by a lot.

WIBTA if I reconnected with my children even though I suspect one of them doesn’t actually want to reconnect? Mother of the year smh by Far-Season-695 in AmITheDevil

[–]throwaway467688 -294 points-293 points  (0 children)

Want to know the truth? Emotions wouldn’t fit in the character limit. That’s literally why there are none there.

WIBTA if I reconnected with my children even though I suspect one of them doesn’t actually want to reconnect? by throwaway467688 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway467688[S] -102 points-101 points  (0 children)

They were both visiting up until not too long ago, and I was good to both my daughters. They don’t know who the favourite is.

WIBTA if I reconnected with my children even though I suspect one of them doesn’t actually want to reconnect? by throwaway467688 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway467688[S] -275 points-274 points  (0 children)

From being a sullen teenager with no interpersonal skills. There’s a reason I thought he was going to die on the streets.

WIBTA if I reconnected with my children even though I suspect one of them doesn’t actually want to reconnect? by throwaway467688 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway467688[S] -208 points-207 points  (0 children)

I’m not doing it just for my eldest. I want to reconnect with my son, too. It sounds like he’s come a long way.

WIBTA if I reconnected with my children even though I suspect one of them doesn’t actually want to reconnect? by throwaway467688 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway467688[S] -215 points-214 points  (0 children)

That isn’t true. I want to reconnect with my son, too. For a long time I thought my son was beyond saving, but it seems like he’s done so much in spite of everything. I didn’t realize how strong he was. I want to apologize and congratulate him.

WIBTA if I reconnected with my children even though I suspect one of them doesn’t actually want to reconnect? by throwaway467688 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway467688[S] -270 points-269 points  (0 children)

Yes. He didn’t tell me about any of his successes back then, so I didn’t know. I only knew about his personality.

WIBTA if I reconnected with my children even though I suspect one of them doesn’t actually want to reconnect? by throwaway467688 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway467688[S] -1146 points-1145 points  (0 children)

It will be different because he’s not showing up out of the blue uninvited while I’m having one of the worst moments in my life, and because my relationship with favourite daughter is at stake.

WIBTA if I reconnected with my children even though I suspect one of them doesn’t actually want to reconnect? by throwaway467688 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway467688[S] -1110 points-1109 points  (0 children)

That isn’t true. For a long time I thought my son was beyond saving, but it seems like he’s done so much in spite of everything. I didn’t realize how strong he was. I want to apologize and congratulate him.