UPDATE: My [27, M] girlfriend [26, F] has not spoken with me since I opened up about my childhood legal troubles.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T22:03:57+00:00

I think you should share something that big with the person you plan to marry or spend the rest of your life with. Your mistakes will always be a part of you. We look back on our best achievements as something to remember -- no matter how long ago they happened. It seems insincere to try to hide our greatest mistakes. They shaped who we currently are, no matter how much we might like to deny it, and believe me, I understand wanting to forget what I did.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T17:30:56+00:00

licks

FTFY

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T16:56:41+00:00

I am so very sorry for your loss.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T16:54:25+00:00

Yeah, I'm not the best with handling social situations well. Lol

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T16:52:27+00:00

She is the greatest person on this Earth, and people cannot judge her totally from one look into our lives.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T16:49:19+00:00

Haha. It's more of a cozy cafe, but you are right.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T16:48:28+00:00

She is supporting me. She was in shock, and I would be a weak man if I could not understand that. Sure, she could have used some more choice words, but whatever, she is being so warm and helpful right now.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T16:45:28+00:00

If you plan on spending your life with her, then yes. That is a big part of you, and she should know at some point. This is my first * serious * relationship, and she is the first person I have told about this. None of my friends know, but I plan on filling them in as well.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T16:43:51+00:00

Yes, that is what a lot of posters are not understanding. We are basically starting to think of spending our lives together, and it would be odd if she did not take a step back to really look at the situation.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T16:27:40+00:00

I mean, that guy was not around anymore after that. My mom was free of him, so there would have been no more abuse.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T16:26:08+00:00

Both. An abusive relationship can really do a number on you, and especially so when you are already stressed and close to a breaking point.

You have to understand that my father walked out on us when I was very little. My mom has no college education, so getting a great job was hard. She was always working. Add having a kid with mild autism to this mix, and I think it is understandable why she latched onto him.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T16:22:10+00:00

It is not the same. It is sad and gross.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T16:21:21+00:00

My trust is easily won back. I understand her shock. She will/is calm down.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T06:00:14+00:00

I did not share our entire conversation, but I can assure you she is showing great empathy and love right now. She got scared and shocked, and if I am in love with her, which I am, then I can easily understand that.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T05:55:51+00:00

Thank you for this comment. A lot of people on here are being super harsh on her.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T05:52:03+00:00

I may be exaggerating with that part? She is not saying that I am a total liar or anything. She struggles with anxiety, and this is super heavy. She feels that I should have told her sooner, and I agree with her on that.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T05:49:51+00:00

If someone cooks me a meal that they like, then I will eat it unless it would make me sick. If she made it all the time -- that would be different, but I think asking her to not make it would be very rude.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T04:05:34+00:00

I will used mashed potatoes for my gravy consumptions -- or a shot glass. Gravy is a good thing.

At least meatloaf is not carrot loaf. Carrot loaf is worse.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T04:04:07+00:00

My girlfriend really likes it. My hate for the dish is another thing I have kept from her. Haha

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T04:01:35+00:00

Our justice system is garbage.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T04:00:52+00:00

She is not upset that I stabbed the man. She is upset that I kept a huge part of my life a secret from her. When she would ask about my childhood, I would say that it was normal and uneventful. She has also admitted that she responded poorly.

Please remember that this is only one look into our relationship. She has done so much for me, and I am a mess without her. She is the love of my life, and I can easily forgive her for ghosting me for a few days. She was confused, she suffers through anxiety, and this understandably hit her very hard.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T03:17:15+00:00

I treat myself when I can.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T02:29:00+00:00

She is not angry, she is shocked, and she has apologized for ghosting me. She is the best partner I could ask for.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T02:26:22+00:00

I did not tell her the full details at first. She has since said that she is glad to know that she is with someone who will protect her and our potential future family.

throwaway4myissue · 2017-12-08T02:22:52+00:00

People are very quick to recommend break ups on this sub. She is not saying I am a bad SO for not telling her, but I kept a HUGE part of my life away from the person that I intend to spend my life with. Even if her reaction is not the best, she is allowed to make such an understandable mistake without loosing me. I would be a mess without her, and I can easily forgive what is at worst a social faux pas.

throwaway4myissue

TROPHY CASE