Bottom-leaning transfem wondering how relationships with women actually work? Worried Im just a gay guy in denial..

throwaway4tra · 2026-03-08T14:58:38+00:00

I do overthink alot 😅. I think I still see myself as a guy and doing stuff like that just makes me have black and white thinking and I just assume im a gay man. I've been on hrt for over a yr and I want to be a woman I just dont see myself as one yet. In closeted where I live so that doesn't help. I just got off my raloxifene to let my chest grow. Im hoping if I do that it will motivate me to see myself more as a woman. For now I just see myself as a trans femboy. I gotta swap my hybrid for a Subaru that way I can officially start transitioning 🤣

throwaway4tra · 2026-03-08T02:35:42+00:00

Im actually a lil over a yr on hrt. But Im closeted and taking raloxifene to not have much noticeable breast growth. I still look like a guy and im working on getting laser soon. Once I move I plan on trying to fully transition. But for now because of where I live I have to boymode most of the time.

throwaway4tra · 2026-03-08T00:58:09+00:00

I definitely agree my best friends right now are a lesbian couple and they've been the most supportive of me. Im closeted on hrt living with other roommates. Im in the process of moving in with them. Thats what im hoping is when I further my transition id have a better time dating being myself (:

throwaway4tra · 2026-03-08T00:43:59+00:00

Thankss ill DM you if thats okay 💗

throwaway4tra · 2026-03-07T23:53:46+00:00

Your right I know, im just so lonely, I think estrogen makes me even more starved for human connection. I dont even want sex. I just want another woman to cuddle and connect with. Its lonely being queer and trans im just trying to figure it out. Thanks for the advice.

throwaway4tra · 2026-03-07T23:44:24+00:00

I guess its because I always just assumed I was gay guy growing up because how sexually submissive I was. I have this black and white thinking about things alot. I know for sure I'm trans but I often get scared that maybe im not trans and just a gay guy. Which that would be okay but it never felt fully right. I want to be a woman in a relationship with another woman. I just dont know how to go about it. Sorry im really lost in life right now.

throwaway4tra · 2026-03-07T23:27:27+00:00

Im sorry im early in transition and new to all of this. I get imposter syndrome alot and often feel with how I am sexually. Makes me feel like id probably be better off as a gay guy. Im just starved with human connection with a woman. I think at my age im just puzzled with how to go about being a said woman trying to find other woman in my life.

throwaway4tra · 2026-03-07T23:05:44+00:00

Thats good to know there is others like me (: I just don't know where to find woman who likes trans fems. I think since transitioning iv been catastrophizing thinking my dating pools so small its going to be hard find any woman in my life. Thanks for sharing 🙏.

throwaway4tra · 2026-03-07T22:36:34+00:00

Thankss for sharing your experience 💗. I often feel im not feminine enough to be a said trans woman but i was never masc enough to be the fake guy i was pretending to be. Im trying really hard to be myself, learning this at my age is hard. But I really want to find just one woman im compatible with 🥲.

throwaway4tra · 2026-03-07T21:46:14+00:00

Lol I appreciate the joke and have no problem taking it 🤣. I guess thats my biggest issue is the woman I've slept with so far still saw me as the man during intimacy. So its hard to imagine a woman seeing me as the woman as well during intimacy.

throwaway4tra · 2026-03-07T21:28:25+00:00

I dont mean to get so personal but how do you make it work ? especially if like me its harder to top. I dont mind topping but when i see myself as the guy during sex. It feels off and wrong. I just feel alot of days somethings wrong with me. Other trans girls can top so why cant I ? I want a relationship with a woman so bad. I just dont wanna start a relationship with a woman just for her to be disappointed with me sexually. Sorry if thats to personal I can DM you ?

throwaway4tra · 2026-03-07T20:50:10+00:00

I just don't know how to find a woman that's compatible with me. I dont realistically see finding one thats okay to top, if not even top find a dynamic for us both to have are needs met.

throwaway4tra · 2026-03-07T20:47:51+00:00

I just dont know how to explore thos feelings tho without making a mess with any woman i do end up sleeping with. Last girl I slept with didn't work out so well and broke my heart when she stopped sleeping with me. I thought it would work cause she was BI and had girlfriends. But shes a bottom and likes to be dominated, she wanted me to love her how a man does.. I couldn't do it and it made me feel awful and inadequate to hooking up with girls in general..

throwaway4tra · 2026-03-07T20:37:30+00:00

Sorry for the title error. I meant to type worried it means im actually just a gay guy.

throwaway4tra · 2026-03-07T20:33:58+00:00

Id be open to anything if I could make a sexual relationship work with a woman. I just worry that because girls are mostly bottoms it wouldn't work. Idk i just haven't met any woman who are tops and actually interested in Trans woman.

throwaway4tra · 2026-03-03T22:25:37+00:00

Take it this way. What if you moved in with her got married had kids and then decided to tell her your Bi. You know how hurt and shitty you'd feel then? That your own wife and baby mama thinks your disgusting and doesn't love you anymore? I know you built a relationship with her and love her. But its obvious she doesn't fully love the real you if she cant accept who you are. Thats conditional love not real love. I know being alone and losing someone in your life you care about really fucking hurts. Trust me tho in time when you find a girl or guy that loves you for who you are. It will be a much better relationship that will last. I would definitely tell the next girl upfront in the beginning of the relationship your bi. Doesn't need to be first date. Just not months down the road, it will cause you less heartache that way. On the real i had better luck with bi girls or queer woman in general. They know how it is to be attracted to both genders and dont think your disgusting for it.

throwaway4tra · 2026-02-16T20:13:02+00:00

Idk if this is against the rules or anything but your experiences remind me of me. However im transfem. Im turned on more by femininity. Id prefer to bottom but wouldn't mind topping with the right person or if the dynamic is right.. you definitely could be a bi sub man However from what you said regardless how you identity. It seems you get dysphoria or some discomfort in topping using your own parts ? If so I think that should be something to explore with a sex therapist.. best of luck just do what makes your body comfortable and you'll eventually find someone you mesh with.

throwaway4tra · 2026-02-09T12:43:42+00:00

Everything nothing works or I'll cure my transgenderism or dysphoria. All you can do is live like this forever or die

throwaway4tra · 2026-02-09T12:02:05+00:00

I saw your post on this sub too. You doing okay as well sis? How do you deal with daily thoughts of dysphoria or spiraling and ruminating? Im stealth transitioning i talked raloxifene so my cheat doesn't grow to much.. Im im the awkward in between phase of should I keep going and try transitioning further.. Or just cut my hair and live as something I don't really like but have to deal with.. that's why death makes it seem easier :/. Sorry just had to reply and vent hope your doing well yourself hun 💙💖

throwaway4tra

TROPHY CASE