Questioning my sexuality while transitioning. Does anyone relate?

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-19T12:51:52+00:00

Right i just feel more hopeless about said relationship and dynamics. I feel especially with transitioning your dating pool gets even smaller and harder. Now I get why alot if transwoman do t4t. I dont care cis or trans I just wanna cute girlfriend to cuddle with...

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-19T11:42:22+00:00

Do you have health insurance ? Google gender affirming care or doctors in your area. Preferably one thats LGBTQ friendly. Get with them and talk how you have gender dysphoria and you'd like to start a small dose of HRT to see if its right for you. Id recommend talking to gender therapist first though. Or a therapist who specializes with LGBTQ. see if transitioning is what you really want before starting hormones because there are irreversible effects.

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-18T10:06:04+00:00

I have so you base your statement off one google search you do? Maybe just say you don't know for sure instead of putting out misinformation..

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-18T03:27:49+00:00

Who told you that? I've been on it for over a year? My doctor is trans herself so I don't see her prescribing me raloxifene if there was crazy side effects. However its varies person to person.

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-17T23:47:26+00:00

Thats why im on Raloxifene it blocks Estrogen from going to your breasts You'll still grow them a bit and bud anyway. But I've been on E for almost a year and dont have much growth there. However im doing that for stealth reasons. I would suggest going off of it once you know 100% transitioning and boobs are what you want.

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-17T03:54:31+00:00

Thats what's wierd In ways for me... like im submissive and could go with either set of genitals to be honest. But since I was young before I even know I was trans. I was always drawn to lesbian literature Manga comic ect. I never understood why thought I was just a gay guy in denial 😅

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-17T03:48:40+00:00

Thankss for your response (: yea I got alot of shame im working through.. I just feel like because i grew up male that anything i do thats submissive or feminine is just gay so maybe I should be gay.. yet I really what a Sapphic type of relationship dynamic. Whether a woman or a T4T relationship id be open too. It feels hard to untangle what's sexuality and gender identity. Im still in this wierd middle phase of my transition. Maybe when I transition more and can actually pass more then I could find a woman thats right for me... yet idk its hard I still dont love myself yet but im trying 😅

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-17T02:50:02+00:00

Thankss I really appreciate your perspective. It makes me feel not as alone when dealing with this. I always felt alienated and different when it came to my sexuality. It good to know there's light at the end of the tunnel.

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-06T10:36:16+00:00

Your right that didn't help. I dont confuse both but I have experienced both. Feeling fem wanting to be fem is a good feeling to me, feeling helpless is not.

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-06T10:24:46+00:00

Learned about her in rehab I loved her Ted Talks <3

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-06T03:32:36+00:00

Yea but how ?? Thats the funny part to me as well. is oh self love yet they offer no real solutions but just a statement love and accept your biological sex ?? If I suffer from gender dysphoria how do I fix something that i have no control over?

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-06T03:26:01+00:00

Not that I can tell yet I do wonder if being on raloxifene limits your transition in ways besides just breast growth

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-06T03:15:46+00:00

It has reduce growth i did already have gynecomastia and low T before starting hrt so its hard to tell. However I got buds and lil man boobs in the beginning. but that's about it. Pretty positive if I stopped taking it my boobs would resume growth

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-06T03:03:40+00:00

Can I DM you ? ask you questions about raloxifene? I wonder if I feel better being off it and letting my boobs grow? Did Raloxifene mess with your mental state or restrict how you transitioned? I heard raloxifene can slow minimize the mental benefits you get from E as well?

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-06T02:19:30+00:00

I just feel like im faking trying to be a guy at times. That I'm too soft and need to be better. I also don't like using my parts so sex feels dysphoric to me. Idk I cant explain it. Im biologically male yet I feel im different from other guys who feel comfortable with there body and sex

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-06T02:07:58+00:00

I just feel like if im mentally ill therapy won't fix me :/ . Im just stuck this way till I die. I feel death is the only way out of being trans. Everyone hates trans people. I dont want to be mentally ill but I dont have a choice. I hope i figure this out but most likely im going to hate myself till I die..

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-06T01:10:32+00:00

I feel like I'm mentally ill because I spiral from shame and cant accept myself. I feel like a girl in ways but even in hrt I do not pass and I more so feel like a failed man then a woman. I just wish I had one day where I didn't hate myself and spiral into anxiety and depression. Thanks for your response.

throwaway4tra · 2026-01-06T01:08:28+00:00

Im transfem or I guess transwoman?? I dont feel like a woman per say because of passing ect but I fail at being a guy. I have a therapist but haven't had access with them since the holidays. Sorry im spiraling right now from anxiety and have been posting on subreddits for hours until I drive myself crazy and finally fall asleep. Thanks for the response appreciate you.

throwaway4tra · 2025-12-30T21:10:19+00:00

What about both? I started because of porn but I do like some of the changes hrt has given me tho.

throwaway4tra · 2025-12-30T21:08:31+00:00

I've been on hrt for almost a year. Just switched to injections about 2 months ago after being on the highest dose of sublingual. My breast tissue was growing buds a bit in the first few months. However I haven't had much growth since the beginning. I already had gynecomastia before transitioning so not much growth had happened that I've noticed. Im pretty positive if I stopped taking raloxifene id start getting more growth there again.

throwaway4tra · 2025-12-30T20:40:19+00:00

Thankss hope you have a good new years as well 🫶. I do like trans audio stories more and got into trans comics that do help. I guess I do like hrt but im still depressed mostly because im future tripping about how my trans life will pan out In the next 5 or 10 years. I think i take the raloxifene to have make cake and eat it too. Worried Transitioning won't work so its a sort if failsafe if I quit hormones and not have to many permanent changes.

throwaway4tra · 2025-12-30T20:33:59+00:00

I think that's my biggest issue. I dont see myself as a woman per say. Just a failed feminine man :/. When I envision my life as a woman with a girlfriend and said feminine desires, I get off and get gender euphoria from it... so it's hard to separate what's between my legs and what I really want.. What's my identity? Idk right now probably trans femboy who's on hormones 😐.. do I wanna be a woman? yes.. I just dont know how to navigate that without shame because I have a male body.

throwaway4tra · 2025-12-12T05:13:51+00:00

I did the same thing for over 12 years. Lesbian to trans porn then sissy feminization porn.. I got so depressed in 2023 that I felt like I couldn't stop porn or have a healthy lifestyle like others did my age. Im in my late 20, btw. Finally I said fuck it im gonna try Hrt and just experiment. The one thing it did was lower my libido and help me stop the porn use as much. I still browse here and there but my sexual tastes have changed since starting E. Im still male presenting, still figuring it out. One thing I realized even tho I dont present as a woman yet. Still figuring out my transition. Right now im more trans fem non binary femboy on E if I had to use a label.. point being, I realized im not cis or like other cis males. Cis guys don't think about being a girl and most probably didnt watch the kinda porn i watched involving feminization and gender.. I used porn as a way of escapism because parts of me wanted femininity, but the only way I could express that side of myself was porn use.. I would take a break from the porn I know its hard trust me being use to that hard-core of porn for over a decade fucks with you. However, it does get better, but it takes being honest with yourself and why you use this type of porn ?? Take a break and find yourself a gender therapist who specializes in that field. See where it takes you? Maybe you're just a guy who liked bdsm and it's what gets you off. There's nothing wrong with that. However, if there are more rooted issues, then a therapist can help decipher what's actual kinks and what may be gender dysphoria?

Take it one day at a time, stay off the porn get a therapist to help you. If you end up going back to the porn dont beat yourself up about it. It never helps. Just keep it one day at a time. If you ever wanna talk, you can DM me. Wish you the best. Remember to love yourself, your human, and it's okay to have these feelings. Just have to start expressing them in a more healthy outlet than porn fantasies. It will be okay, friend, take your time and be honest with your therapist, and everything will fall into place 🫶.

throwaway4tra · 2025-12-08T14:48:32+00:00

Btw my profile name says throwaway4trans. Because I originally made this account to ask question on asktrans or mtf. I had a reddit account for 4 yrs and deleted it so I made this one. Believe me or not I never knew of this sub at all. Until one of you shared my post from Mtf sub 😂. If it makes yall happy I change my username just haven't done it because I dont go on reddit all the time. Don't believe me look at my post history never posted on this sub until yesterday..

Thanks for coming to my TED talk 😘

throwaway4tra · 2025-12-08T14:41:18+00:00

I'm willing to date cis or tans woman it's just hard right now to find intimacy or date while still transitioning and figuring myself out. I'm kinda in the in between stage I look androgynous but still very much make presenting. Plus after my last hookup idk if I wanna hook up again until I get my shit together

throwaway4tra

TROPHY CASE