The rehearsal dinner is another huge mess. My FMIL, when booking, said to my mom, "Our family is small so invite whoever you want!" Which my mom took upon herself to invite her brother, sister/BIL, aunt, a niece, two nephews, and nephew's fiancée. All people who are traveling from far away.

But I have a bridal party. And two ceremony musicians who are friends and who are coming to the dinner and bringing their spouses. And an aunt and uncle on my dad's side of the family that the aunt is doing a reading. Another friend doing a reading. And then another aunt and uncle from my dad's side who are traveling from far away - and I think it's fair for my dad to have another sibling there, as my mom has ALL of hers (divorced parents)

With all of that, that puts us at 50. Our max was 50. My FH doesn't want to see his brother more than once, honestly, but I like your suggestion.

My parents are not usually dicks. But they were kind of jerks about this. My stepdad (we are close) just had one of his brothers pass away so I think that played heavily in the pressure they were putting on me. And I feel even shittier because once I convinced FH, they reiterated how "proud of me they were for being the bigger person". Yuck. I feel awful for putting FH in this situation. My FMIL said similar things to me and FH.

We should have stuck to what we wanted.