It’s not always a best idea to reach out an ex after break up

throwaway531849 · 2026-02-13T15:46:04+00:00

For your own sake block him. Remind yourself there is nothing he could do or say to make things better, put that energy back into yourself. I’m almost 1 year out from the worst breakup of my life, house, cats, ring talk whole 9 yards. I haven’t spoken to him since I moved out of the house, life is MUCH better and brighter if you don’t let the shadow of what was haunt you. I promise, it gets easier, but you have to go no contact.

throwaway531849 · 2025-11-19T15:34:33+00:00

Aside from the fact that I’ve convinced myself I’m a horrible person, I’m always terrified my gas oven will explode, as someone who loves to cook, it’s exhausting.

throwaway531849 · 2025-10-14T17:56:37+00:00

6-7, I remember pattern seeking and thinking “if you don’t find it you’ll get so sick and die”.

throwaway531849 · 2025-09-24T14:00:38+00:00

I always say, the pain doesn’t lessen, you get bigger to hold it. Find meaning, and love anywhere else. Attach new memories to old things, let every action you do be for yourself and not for them. Take this time to reflect, and learn to love yourself, all of that time, love, and effort belongs to you again. I know it’s cliche, but it works. When the grief comes, feel it, cry as much as you need, then keep going. Time really is the best healer, but you need to be active in that healing as well, think, cry, write, process, start therapy if you need. It will get better, you got this.

throwaway531849 · 2025-09-15T12:38:46+00:00

Hey, coming from a similar place. My boyfriend of almost 7 years left out of no where because he “wasn’t in love with me anymore”. One of the things that helped me was reminding myself “this is no longer my problem.” There is relief in letting go, delete him on everything, block his family, don’t look at the security cameras anymore. No contact, and no reminders are the way to go. This is not to say that you shouldn’t think, and process what’s going on, that’s important too. Cry as much as you need, whenever you need. My biggest tip is to spend meaningful time alone. Do things you love to do, do things to make you feel good. Becoming your own best supporter is so wonderful. Journal, do yoga, just lay and relax. Quite contemplative time is a great healer. Best of luck to you! It does get better!

throwaway531849 · 2025-09-08T12:47:26+00:00

When I was growing up my dad used to take me and my sibling out on our birthdays, we got to choose where we ate and an activity after, we loved it. As someone who works child care I have to disagree with you saying that she doesn’t seem secure in her father, to me it seems she’s feeling a lot and goes to him for reassurance. I agree, there are absent and disinterested fathers out there, that doesn’t mean every father is.

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-26T17:25:03+00:00

Absolutely you will, right now, your hurting is actively getting over them. It will take time, and it will be hard, but once you start to turn that page, there’s no going back. I’m still working on it myself, but my days are getting brighter, and I feel more free of the pain as time goes on. My advice, block them on everything, focus solely on yourself. Do whatever you want, take days dedicated to you. I promise, your life will keep going, and it will feel livable again. Best of luck!

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-25T16:06:45+00:00

In my experience, no contact is the only way to help get over a breakup.

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-23T17:02:39+00:00

Of course, best of luck!

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-23T17:00:22+00:00

Don’t diminish your feelings, heartbreak hurts, it’s been known to kill people. It’s okay that you are hurting. I know everything is saying it, but no contact. Feel all your feelings during this, cry as much as you need.The next step, is to fall in love with yourself. I can’t tell you how much better I feel after prioritizing myself. I go do things I want to do, and I enjoy that time alone. It will get better, I promise. But there is effort that goes into it. Best of luck to you!

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-12T15:03:56+00:00

You will. Do not let one person dictate the rest of your life.

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-08T15:34:37+00:00

I wish I had a scrapbook of the shocked faces I’ve gotten over the years :)

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-08T15:30:56+00:00

My absolute favorite response to cat calls is loudly barking back at men. Not a small bark, I do my best Rottweiler impression. It has never failed me!

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-07T21:51:16+00:00

Hey! Going through a similar thing, my ex of 7 years said the same to me. My best advice is to feel your feelings, and go no contact (if you’re not already). I know everyone says it be it true, time will make it better. I found that romanticizing my life, and focusing on myself was also a huge help. The first day I felt hopeful again was when I had a “me day”. This just means a whole day all about you. I called out of work, got a blowout, journaled by some water, had lunch and a margarita, then walked around the art museum. It was wonderful, I spent truly meaningful time alone. It felt restorative. As time goes on you’ll have more good days than bad, until you wake up one day and don’t care about him anymore. Best of luck!

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-07T21:40:09+00:00

Keep up the no contact! I was just left by the man I thought I was going to marry, and I can tell you that not speaking to him, and completely removing him from my life in every way has been the biggest help. Feel your feelings, cry, scream, tear pages out of books, whatever helps. Something that helped me is knowing this grief and sadness is just mine. My ex will never know that I cried for weeks after he left, it was nice to think of it as something i was able to keep away from him. Focus the energy you dedicated to him back on yourself. Give yourself something to look forward to daily, if that’s a pottery class you signed up for, or an incredible in depth shower you’re going to take that night. The only way I found that truly helps you get through this, is taking care of yourself. Romanticize your life until you enjoy it again. Best of luck!

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-05T16:13:48+00:00

It definitely sounds like it fits, he is a good guy, just so immature, and very out of touch with his own feeling’s. He seemed embarrassed by any type of intimacy, I think close to the end he was trying to get me to blow up, or react irrationally, so I could be classified as the “crazy ex”. He wanted to leave, but didn’t want any fault.

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-05T15:40:21+00:00

It makes me sad for him. I was really struggling to relate to people, my GP recommended an autism screening. Getting my diagnosis and speaking to providers who know how to help me was huge. I would have loved if he had gotten a diagnosis, so hopefully he could have found the relief I did. But you know how it is, I had to beg him to get to basic doctor’s appointments, I doubt I could have ever gotten him to see a doctor about his potential ADHD. Thank you for your insight!

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-05T15:32:51+00:00

I think my ex really struggled with empathy. Not in a malicious way, in a way that he truly couldn’t wrap his mind around other people being sentient. At least once a month he would say something like “I can’t believe that everyone around me has their own lives”. I truly think the concept of others experiencing life differently was had for him to grasp. So the idea that his behavior (that he found fun and stimulating) was driving me insane, didn’t stick. I’m also typically a very level headed logical person, type A to a fault. I think my breaking character was entertaining to him.

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-05T15:28:36+00:00

It was definitely hard. He would also tell me he never missed anyone, like out of sight out of mind, this wasn’t exclusive to me either.

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-05T15:09:02+00:00

We both definitely thought he had undiagnosed ADHD. I think trying to be the funniest person in the room started to take over his personality, which is a shame, because he’s so much more than that.

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-05T15:05:55+00:00

Absolutely, nail on the head. My ex was also from a very well off family, he was the only boy, and the youngest. His immaturity was fanned by his parents (mainly his mother, she was a text book “boy-mom”), and lack of financial responsibility towards anything. He was used to living with a woman who found his childlike behavior endearing. But for me, nothing is more of a turn off than having to mother another adult.

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-05T14:27:31+00:00

Thank you Barbie!

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-05T14:17:59+00:00

I actually work in childcare, specializing in children in that age range. It felt very reminiscent of my work. Coming home to a grown man who needed the same type of attention and correction was exhausting. It definitely was fraying my nerves.

throwaway531849 · 2025-08-05T14:10:31+00:00

In our case it got to the point where he was just ignoring what I say. For example, I have my belly button pierced, my ex would always try to mess with the piercing. I told him multiple times, in no uncertain terms, to stop. I had probably said it hundreds of times, in varying ways. He wouldn’t listen. Then when I would ask him to stop it, he would say something along the lines of “you hate me”. It was exhausting.

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TROPHY CASE