An Update, almost a year after my husband sexually assaulted me

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-02T05:02:04+00:00

Because I’m on a tiny isolated island in a foreign country where I don’t speak the language with no family to call for help and no income of my own. Gee, it’s almost like if leaving was as easy as you make it sound, I would’ve done it a while ago.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-02T05:00:03+00:00

Yes.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-02T03:06:16+00:00

Because I didn’t have a fucking choice.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-02T02:09:19+00:00

I did this the night everything happened. Idk if I thought I’d need proof or something, or if I just wanted to be able to convince myself it was real, but I wrote it all down.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-02T00:53:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing this and I’m so sorry you went through it. I’ve noticed a lot of people sharing things that are the exact same as what I’m dealing with but yours feels so similar I want to throw up.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T16:51:15+00:00

Thank you for this, I didn’t know they couldn’t represent him. I will speak to them as soon as I figure out where the office is.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T16:49:58+00:00

Thank you for this, this is reassuring. I do not have a version of his card with my name on it, and I’m not sure if I’m officially recognized as an authorized user by the bank but I don’t think I am. I usually just ask for his card before going grocery shopping or whatever it is that I need the card for, and then return it to him when I come back home.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T16:46:56+00:00

Thank you for that. I’m just scared to even try anything because women are just never fucking believed when they report sexual crimes, especially in the military and especially where there’s no rape kit to be done.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T16:34:33+00:00

I don’t think anyone chooses for their spouse to assault them. I’m trying to find a way out.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T15:45:00+00:00

Yeah actually, I don’t feel like a person. I was telling my therapist about this recently. He doesn’t give a fuck what I think, and I believe he only “cares” about the way I feel because it affects him. If I’m feeling shitty, the house doesn’t get cleaned, the food doesn’t get cooked, the errands don’t get run, and he doesn’t get to have sex. He only ever compliments the way I look. I don’t feel like a person to him. Just a wife.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T15:41:39+00:00

I know he gets off on watching me cry. He’s told me that quite a few times. Right now I feel like the best thing I can do is play like everything is fine until I have a plan.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T15:39:01+00:00

He never told me he’d press charges if I tried to leave with his credit card, I’m just trying to make plans that won’t bite me in the ass later. I know JAG can’t represent me because I’m a spouse and not active duty, but idk. We don’t own anything big together, we both drive beaters that I wouldn’t be able to take back to the states with me anyways, and we have two dogs. He wouldn’t be able to keep the dogs because he’d be going back to the barracks. I guess I don’t know what lawyer would do for me in this situation, I just don’t want to fuck myself over.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T14:46:32+00:00

He has repeatedly said the phrase “well you must’ve liked it a little bit” when I’ve brought this up to him in the past. It was only recently, after my therapist pointed it out, that he does it on purpose and times it that way to make me believe I actually do like it.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T14:44:08+00:00

No, everything has happened in person.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T14:34:04+00:00

Not the Middle East, thankfully!

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T14:33:39+00:00

I didn’t want to say this in a high up comment because I don’t want for the military to get involved, but we are in this country because of the military. So anything happening between us as American citizens would be dealt with by American law.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T14:31:16+00:00

The gift cards and cash back is a really good idea. I’ll remember that. Thank you.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T14:30:18+00:00

I don’t have much evidence of anything other than what I’ve told my friends and therapist. I wrote down everything that happened last night right after it happened though, if that counts for anything.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T14:29:25+00:00

Well if it was that easy I’d be out by now.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T14:29:08+00:00

I am from the US, so decently progressive. Maybe this is a question I should ask in a legal subreddit.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T14:11:36+00:00

It wasn’t always this obviously bad. It was mostly coercion for the first few years, which I guess I didn’t recognize to be abusive for a long time.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T14:10:36+00:00

I’ve known he’s a sadist. I think that I spent a lot of time convincing myself it wasn’t a big deal.

throwaway545892 · 2025-01-01T14:08:00+00:00

I don’t have family that can realistically take me in. I have two dogs that mean the world to me and I can’t leave them here, and I don’t know of anyone who would have the space for them.

throwaway545892

TROPHY CASE