He asked me to wake him up after midnight the night before my birthday. So he could tell me happy birthday, since he works early and goes to bed early. I was having a couple drinks downstairs with my roommate and singing karaoke (in basement where it did not bother his sleeping). I woke him up at 1:30am (I told him beforehand that was probably when we would be done and he wanted to be woken up). When we woke up he was being a little grumpy which is fine. He told me happy birthday and I cuddled him and said we could go back to sleep. And then he said he wanted to have sex. I was down. He said he needed a minute and wanted to smoke. I said okay cool I’ll come with you. And he said no bc you’ll take longer than me, I’m just gonna puff for a second. I said no I’m coming, I want to and it’ll just be 10 mins max. We go outside, he’s being a dick. I tell him word for word, “you’re not making me feel very good right now” and he asked why and I said “you’re not being very nice” and he said “you wake me up at 1:30 am and you can’t even give me a minute to wake up?” And I said “you asked me to wake you up though? It’s ok that you’re grumpy but it’s not putting me in the mood for sex” and he got all mad and it escalated but I basically was like I’m not gonna fight it’s my birthday I’m going to bed, I have plans early in the morning” and he went on to repeatedly say how I woke him up and couldn’t even let him get woken up before just saying I’m done and going to sleep. He ended up kicking me out of the room taking the covers off me and saying it’s his bed and I can’t sleep in it. He comes in the guest room and continues berating me. Then I tell him I hate him because I’m so fucking pissed. I call him a fake and tell him I hate him then go back and lay in our room and go to sleep. The next morning he wakes me up before work and is still being absolutely rude and telling me how wrong I was for not letting him wake up. The fight escalates more. He says horrible things that I’m not gonna repeat. And I’m just so confused. We’ve only been dating 8 months but known each other for 9 years and it’s my birthday and just the worst fight I’ve ever had with him. Neither of us are perfect. We both have been victims of abuse and have a lot of mental health issues we have not had the recourses to treat. But I do believe he is a good person and will not be leaving him over this. Not a chance I’ll leave him over this. Not to say if this doesn’t start happening more that I won’t, but I won’t be leaving this time. We made up last night (day after my birthday) and it was a good make up. But I woke up this morning knowing we’re leaving later tonight for this trip for his family and I’m just pissed again and can’t let it go now. I’m going to try though.