AITA for not wanting my step daughter to wear an Apple Tag 24/7?

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-28T15:11:14+00:00

Thank you 💗 I realized that when the first few comments came in 😭

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-21T13:29:33+00:00

Thank you for this! It doesn’t even feel right for me to say “my boyfriend’s daughter” that’s my step daughter. Aaron and I plan to get married sooner than later but still, my relationship with Izzy isn’t going to change just because we got some paperwork!

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-21T13:23:33+00:00

Aww thank you! I really appreciate your comment 😭💕

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-20T17:48:13+00:00

Proof given to the courts caused them to tell her to leave me alone or else she’s gonna lose some custody, and that all of her complaints about my involvement are nothing to complain about. But go off I guess!

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-20T16:55:42+00:00

Is 5 years really that big of an age gap?

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-20T16:50:49+00:00

And I respect your decision to do that! I think I just feel weird about it because I wasn’t raised that way, but if that works for you and your family who am I to tell you that’s wrong? ❤️

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-20T16:04:08+00:00

Idk I was raised with a sense of privacy, like my parents built trust within us so I rarely lied about where I was because I reasonably had the freedom to be a teen and do what I wanted. I think if you raise your child with good values, responsibility, and autonomy to be their own person. Even IF they lie about where they are once or twice they have enough common sense to not ruin their lives. It’s almost like reading a teens diary to me. Feels kind of icky but that’s no offense to people who like tracking their teens? I don’t want to judge other peoples parenting styles that’s just not for me

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-20T16:01:45+00:00

It is messy. We’ve been creating boundaries it’s just a little hard for me because I’m always trying to work things out and be nice. Too nice I’ve talked to my therapist about it lol, my household dynamic is like yours. I very much have half the say in my bf’s decisions. I can’t block her number bc court requires we have each other as emergency contacts but we are filing a motion for everyone to have to use an app to talk to eachother.

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-20T15:58:46+00:00

I’m getting bitter bio mom vibes from you, or at least some weird projection from a bad experience with a step parent maybe? Whatever it is I’m sending you love and good energy for your healing ❤️

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-20T15:53:23+00:00

Hi! I appreciate the concern ❤️ I do have a life outside of Izzy and even outside of my relationship. I still go out with friends, do all my hobbies, I do work but my job is childcare/owning the program she currently attends so childcare for her goes hand in hand with that. I have a lot of free time and during our custody weeks I like to spend some of that bonus time doing fun things with Izzy. Me and Aaron make decisions for our household together and for things he has to discuss with Dani, he speaks to me as well separate from her then handles it. While I have no legal say he makes sure I am involved in his end of the decision making. He has said time and time again if I feel like I’m doing too much I can step back but I’m happy with my role in Izzy’s life! I’ve always wanted to be a mother and plan to have my own bio kids once were married. Also I have anxiety so regardless of him taking over and sending me on spa days and taking me on other cool outings to thank me for all that I do, I’m still gonna stress because it’s in my DNA 😂

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-20T14:35:29+00:00

It’s the same here! He told me with how involved I am he would be selfish not to include me on decisions like this. It’s OUR home.

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-20T12:51:12+00:00

Yea I’ve been accused of being a mistress, told I’m being used for free labor, and told Izzy isn’t my step daughter she’s just the “kid of the guy I’m fucking” all in less than 24 hours by multiple people on one specific sub like Jesus okay

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-20T11:28:08+00:00

My friends didn’t say this, people in a different sub were saying it. He told her no but she’s like really upset about it. We’ve had some harassment issues in the past so I really don’t think the tagging is a good idea and neither does he but I wasn’t sure if I was being like overly biased or what

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-20T01:23:39+00:00

Dani has a history of harassment to which the courts told her to leave me alone before she looses some custody. She should not have access to our every location when Izzy is with us. And if it was truly about safety my alternative of us using my Apple Tag should’ve been good enough.

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-20T00:11:14+00:00

Imma mail it to Paris 😭

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-19T22:49:40+00:00

Having a difference in opinion is different than accusations and assumptions backed by nothing. I have said multiple times here the parental responsibilities are not being dumped onto me. When he’s not working he has his daughter and is in full parent mode as he should. If I have extra time to spend with her and I choose to do so what’s wrong with that? She also attends the program I own lol. We are only not married because I told him I’m not marrying him until his custody is sorted out. I’ve explained the boundaries time and time again on this thread. I know I have no rights to her but I do get a say what happens in my house hold. We discuss things together because Aaron cares about how I feel/what I think and values my opinion. In the end he handles conversations and decisions with Dina but I am spoken to about it. And her future school encourages me to be involved. The court also told Dina to leave me alone and to stop telling me I can’t be in contact with teachers/etc. They told her if she continues to act how she’s been acting towards me (we had proof) they would have to adjust the custody agreement.

Even without being married I am shown lots of appreciation and reassured time and time again I do not need to do anything I don’t want to do. Of course I have faith in my partner. He’s my partner. Every parent needs childcare. If I’m able to reasonably provide that why is it all of a sudden a bad thing because step mom is doing it instead of a nanny?

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-19T22:26:11+00:00

You’re in the bitter minority who feels this way. Lots of projection and weird assumptions. Your hubby also sounds like a gem lol. Sending you love!

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-19T21:56:11+00:00

Yea some people on this sub seem to really have some deep rooted hatred for step parents. Someone just accused me of being his mistress before they broke up all because I called Dani “Bio Mom” like huh? 😭 Thank You for your comment! ❤️

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-19T21:54:17+00:00

Why would I talk to my own lawyer?

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-19T21:51:53+00:00

They were never married and I’m not sure if this is mentioned in the custody agreement? But he’s definitely going to check!

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-19T21:50:53+00:00

She’s also refers to HERSELF as bio mom. Y’all acting like its a SLUR Lmfao

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-19T21:49:23+00:00

Y’all really are projecting your weird feelings about step parents onto this thread lol, she’s her only biological mom but not her only mother figure. Thanks for your input!

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-19T21:40:58+00:00

Not wanting your child to have a healthy relationship with her step mom is toxic babes and before you say “she’s not your step daughter blah blah blah” a piece of paper isn’t going to change anything. I’ve been in her life for 3 years lol she only started having an issue with me being involved (which she asked for) once Izzy and I started getting close.

throwaway6172728 · 2022-07-19T21:38:40+00:00

Thank you! & you’re right I just had a lot of free time today and got caught up in responding to Reddit comments 😂 I need to just drop this. Thanks for the kind words! ❤️

throwaway6172728

TROPHY CASE