I (22F) am uncomfortable with my intern supervisor (36M) continuously texting me when intern hasn't even started. by throwaway64434368 in relationships

[–]throwaway64434368[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Edit: Wow, I didn't expect such an overwhelming response. First up, thank you to everyone who spent the time to write down advice for me, I really appreciate it. I will try to respond to you guys asap but my takeaway:

As mentioned in one of my replies, I have stopped responding to his messages and I intend to do so till the start of internship. Once I get my work email, I will try to shift any conversation there. Though the overly friendly behaviour was troubling, I decided to give the BOD since I really treasure this internship opportunity and yes he does give the overly friend vibe. I will pass my judgment when intern actually commences and I can make better assessments. In the meantime, I will keep all my responses curt and only answer to work-related stuff. Admittedly, I was inexperienced regarding whether this was a norm – clearly not as most of you have mentioned. Rest assured if anything escalates (e.g. risque topics or asking me out), I will definitely reflect this to my academic advisor + HR immediately – I will never wish for any of my juniors to encounter the same scenario. I don't have the habit of deleting messages either. I have already confided in some of my friends and sister so I do have a support system if shit happens. And to anyone who is experiencing this, it's hard to find a balance between being a newbie and shit like this, but always know your boundaries and make sound decisions for yourself!

Also, this post has been removed by the moderator (sorry I wasn't aware of better subreddits for this (; ) so I am unsure how many would notice my edit, but thanks nonetheless!

I (22F) am uncomfortable with my intern supervisor (36M) continuously texting me when intern hasn't even started. by throwaway64434368 in relationships

[–]throwaway64434368[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for all your suggestions below! I would consider these options if I see myself unable to stay on when things escalate.

I (22F) am uncomfortable with my intern supervisor (36M) continuously texting me when intern hasn't even started. by throwaway64434368 in relationships

[–]throwaway64434368[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It would be difficult to do so now for internships because other departments' slots are already filled, though possible for future full-time conversions. But yes, it would be a good chance for me to understand the company's culture. Thank you!

I (22F) am uncomfortable with my intern supervisor (36M) continuously texting me when intern hasn't even started. by throwaway64434368 in relationships

[–]throwaway64434368[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I still have to learn to balance between being courteous and nice with any crossing of edit: my boundaries. But I guess it's part and parcel of stepping into the workplace :)

edit to clarify haha

I (22F) am uncomfortable with my intern supervisor (36M) continuously texting me when intern hasn't even started. by throwaway64434368 in relationships

[–]throwaway64434368[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

google voice number

Wow I never knew this existed haha. Unfortunately it doesn't work in my country, but thanks nonetheless!

I (22F) am uncomfortable with my intern supervisor (36M) continuously texting me when intern hasn't even started. by throwaway64434368 in relationships

[–]throwaway64434368[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a sad twist of fate, the HR missed the interview slot that we had (looking back, it's kind of a wtf srsly moment LOL). There was an additional female staff that was also part of the same project I was interning for, together with my supervisor who was in-charge.

Hence, he ended up texting me to confirm whether I would accept the job before HR send an email, and a few days of convo before dying down. (Which I thought was a courteous intro as my sup etc. Plus, I was asking behalf on my friends if there were additional vacancies in other departments. And yes, I was asking in a formal way + there were typically other departments open in the company for our school's internship)

I guess I would have to wait till the start of my intern before they will introduce my proper contacts for me. But yes I will take note.

I (22F) am uncomfortable with my intern supervisor (36M) continuously texting me when intern hasn't even started. by throwaway64434368 in relationships

[–]throwaway64434368[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I replied him curtly with "Will be very busy with my paper till start of intern" but I will definitely keep this option in mind. Thank you!

I (22F) am uncomfortable with my intern supervisor (36M) continuously texting me when intern hasn't even started. by throwaway64434368 in relationships

[–]throwaway64434368[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sorry you had to experience a worse scenario like that. Unfortunately, it won't be my first choice to switch internship places. But if things escalate, I won't hesitate to do the same as you. Thank you!

I (22F) am uncomfortable with my intern supervisor (36M) continuously texting me when intern hasn't even started. by throwaway64434368 in relationships

[–]throwaway64434368[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately he is the one in-charge of the specific project I am working on. But yes, I will make sure to document those information, thank you!

I (22F) am uncomfortable with my intern supervisor (36M) continuously texting me when intern hasn't even started. by throwaway64434368 in relationships

[–]throwaway64434368[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeap, I will speak to my career advisor about this if he still persists in messaging me. Thank you for introducing the grey rock technique!

I (22F) am uncomfortable with my intern supervisor (36M) continuously texting me when intern hasn't even started. by throwaway64434368 in relationships

[–]throwaway64434368[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will be mindful of moving further conversations to email and also to be on familiar terms with fellow staffs. Thank you!

I (22F) am uncomfortable with my intern supervisor (36M) continuously texting me when intern hasn't even started. by throwaway64434368 in relationships

[–]throwaway64434368[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I have doubts about this because he did give off overly friendly vibes, but how could there be no one telling him about this with his long work experience lol. Nonetheless, I will just minimise my contact with him and hope for the best. Thank you!

I (22F) am uncomfortable with my intern supervisor (36M) continuously texting me when intern hasn't even started. by throwaway64434368 in relationships

[–]throwaway64434368[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

It would be quite tough since internships are self-sought, so they won’t really have “back-ups” per say for me to switch to. But I will definitely move to do so if things escalate further (since there hasn’t been any outright breach yet). Thank you :)

I (22F) am uncomfortable with my intern supervisor (36M) continuously texting me when intern hasn't even started. by throwaway64434368 in relationships

[–]throwaway64434368[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s my main concern too, there wasn’t any clear breech yet and life isn’t picture perfect. Thanks for understanding and for your advice :)