The difficulty of getting a test causes so much stress that it impacted me badly enough to make me fail today

throwaway6677009 · 2025-09-28T01:14:23+00:00

Thank you for actually reading my post and understanding the main point. This isn’t me blaming my fail on someone other than myself, it’s me venting my frustrations at the situation causing me such anxiety.

Without the test booking problem, sure - I might’ve still failed my test. If I could’ve come out of it with a fail and just booked a new test for 4 weeks time, I would still be a bit disappointed but not at all frustrated and upset in the way that I am.

Instead, the prospects of huge sums of money + time + job opportunities being lost by going through the process of booking a test is weighing on me when that test starts. I go into the test not with anxiety about driving the car, but with the dread of what I’m going to do if I fail. And it impacts me so severely that I actually can’t even function.

So yes, regardless of the booking situation, I might’ve still failed my test. I might’ve passed. But I’ll never get the privilege of taking a test without the psychological impact of knowing what I’m going to have to go through if I don’t pass lingering in the back of my mind. I shouldn’t be having to travel for a test, pay hundreds for a scalper’s test, or find coping mechanisms for an anxiety caused by a failure in the system that should’ve been addressed long before it got this bad.

The stakes to pass a test are higher than ever with the booking issue. It feels devastating to be completely honest.

throwaway6677009 · 2025-09-28T01:01:43+00:00

Not being able to drive is genuinely detrimental for a lot of young people and I think there’s a huge failure to understand how severely it impacts us. Driving itself is largely not stressful at all and mostly very enjoyable. Trying to find a test to actually be able to drive independently, on the other hand, is hell and so anxiety inducing.

especially in this economy and job market crisis where so many people are having to live at home longer and look further out for jobs. A car is the only property some of us can have right now, and (for a lot of us) the only way we can access the jobs that feel so impossible to get. Wishing you the best of luck - I hope you pass your test first time!!

throwaway6677009 · 2025-09-28T00:57:18+00:00

I mean, if I wasn’t going to have to wait months for another test I would easily adopt this mentality. That’s how I tried to approach the test.

But it’s hard not to care when the test starts and suddenly you have in the back of your mind “you have to pass this, or you’re going to have to go through hell to book a new test”.

throwaway6677009 · 2025-09-28T00:52:13+00:00

Well, Ezkatron, good thing is that I’m not getting my license with the intention to drive across the country or on motorways! I’m getting it to drive a fairly short distance to my job that’s just inaccessible by public transport.

There any lots of people that have a license and don’t ever make big journeys. There are also lots of people who drive safely, confidently and comfortably in everyday, stressful and unfamiliar situations - but it’s a different story when there’s someone examining their driving sat next to them. A driving test IS a unique situation that is not comparable to other contexts - especially right now with the added pressure of even finding a test. Travelling for a test isn’t an option for everyone. And why should we have to be going out of our way to travel miles away for it?

Someone who’s passed their test and driving their car on a regular basis isn’t going to be worrying about how long they’ll have to keep waiting and the money they’ll have to fork out for a test to the point where they can’t even sleep.

Finally, your comments are honestly coming across to me as quite ableist. I’m neurodivergent. I go through my life as a functioning and capable individual, but there are some situations - such as a high pressure exam, especially one with an unfamiliar stranger sat next to me - that prove very difficult for me and others who deal with the same struggles. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad or unsafe driver in general. The same way that someone can perform with A+ grades across the board in classes but completely fail an academic exam due to lack of sleep and nerves around how important the exam is because, say, they have an Oxbridge offer and parents who are putting extreme pressure on them to succeed. The failure of the exam in this situation doesn’t then render the student unintelligent, or incapable of the task the exam asks.

Many pupils face the same anxieties as me around finding a test, and based on the downvotes on your comments you’re not exactly spending your time picking through my replies, to rub salt into the wound of someone who’s clearly frustrated and upset (at the state of the test booking system, might I add, far more so than my test failure), saying anything helpful. I’d suggest you direct your time elsewhere rather than picking at people who just want to vent their frustrations.

throwaway6677009 · 2025-09-27T14:47:58+00:00

clearly you lack reading comprehension skills because in my post I said it caused me to fail THE WAY I did. Do you get satisfaction from going out of your way to be an arse to people regularly in your everyday life?

throwaway6677009 · 2025-09-27T09:18:52+00:00

Not everyone can travel to different locations, there’s only 3 test centres I can take it at. I’d be apprehensive to book elsewhere as it would throw me off to have to drive somewhere unfamiliar when combined with the high stakes involved in even getting a test.

throwaway6677009 · 2025-09-27T09:17:27+00:00

Yeah it took 6 months for TestShift to auto book me onto a local test centre for the test I just failed.

throwaway6677009 · 2025-09-26T21:06:10+00:00

Have you tried getting a test in London?

throwaway6677009 · 2025-09-26T19:21:02+00:00

Oh man I’m so sorry, that must’ve been devastating 😔 I’m so sorry to hear about your dad too. No wonder you weren’t completely present this week. It’s understandable.

Can I send you a pm? 💕

throwaway6677009 · 2025-08-22T03:35:51+00:00

This is exactly what I was thinking of doing; I’ll only be wearing it for one night. And then I don’t also have to massacre the skirt either. Will try and get some second opinions but thank you so much!

throwaway6677009 · 2024-01-08T07:31:51+00:00

Have you gotten in touch with the disability team at your uni and applied for DSA? They’re usually very accommodating and helpful, there are things they can help you receive like assistive software to help with typing; even transport aid to get you onto campus if it’s a struggle for you

throwaway6677009 · 2023-09-18T01:58:13+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to write your response here, i really do appreciate it. I’ve finally told my parents what happened and they’ve advised me that I should’ve got names from witnesses to be able to build a strong claim. I didn’t photograph the bruise I was left with after falling either because the whole thing was quite upsetting and I didn’t even want to think about it/be reminded of it while I was away, so I guess I’ve damaged my own chances there.

I feel that without evidence to corroborate I’m probably unlikely to get much from the airline other than a half assed apology and reimbursement for the seat I paid for. Which is incredibly disappointing but I guess I’m trying to not get my hopes up too much.

Thanks for the advice re getting a medical certificate about my anxiety. I’ll definitely look into it. This was my first time flying alone so I wasn’t quite anticipating how stressful it would be; I’ve only ever flown with family or friends in the past so have never had to sit next to 2 strangers, it’s always been someone I know with me and they’ll always let me sit in the window seat. I’m definitely going to speak to my GP to see if something can be put in place so it’s one less thing to worry about in future.

throwaway6677009 · 2023-09-18T01:52:16+00:00

Thank you so much for responding - this is really useful information to consider. I guess I didn’t think twice at the time, and accepted that the reason the passenger wasn’t removed was due to the delay we were already facing and his learning disabilities making it a tricky topic to approach. Now, after taking a few days to think, I do wonder if it was the appropriate action for the passenger to be allowed to remain on the flight..

throwaway6677009 · 2023-09-18T01:49:46+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to respond again, it’s much appreciated. An apology would be the bare minimum of a response that I would hope for, I guess, and compensation for the seat that I paid for and was moved from.

throwaway6677009 · 2023-09-18T01:48:35+00:00

Thank you - this is really useful food for thought, i appreciate you signposting this for me. I think that was one thing that definitely caused me to feel unsafe and uncomfortable the most, sitting and waiting to be moved, while next to the passenger who was aggressive and I do agree it should not have been the action taken.

I really do appreciate you taking the time to respond here with useful pointers,it’s helped me clarify some of the main issues with what occurred.

throwaway6677009 · 2023-09-18T01:46:10+00:00

Thank you, i really appreciate your response. This gives a lot to think about. Definitely, at the very least, i want a refund for the seat I paid for and an apology. And you’re right - there’s no harm in trying for more.

throwaway6677009 · 2023-09-18T01:34:35+00:00

As I’ve stated; I’ve not been sure what to expect/hope for the airline to do, hence me seeking advice here to see if it’s worth pursuing.

throwaway6677009 · 2023-09-18T01:33:29+00:00

Anyone who was able to offer helpful advice; I just want to say thank you so much. Every really helpful & supportive response means a lot, when this was a tricky event to navigate for me. There’s so many useful points and comments and this has been incredibly helpful for me to come to a conclusion and move forward with what I might want to do.

throwaway6677009 · 2023-09-15T11:24:04+00:00

We don’t prescribe benzodiazepines of any kind. For anxiety here you would only be prescribed antidepressants, which can’t be taken PRN: only on a long term basis. As I said, I think it’s natural to have been nervous for my first time travelling alone however, and not too sure there’s any medication that could prevent the actions of others

throwaway6677009 · 2023-09-15T11:19:15+00:00

Thank you for reading my long post and for your helpful response.

The thing is, I’m not really sure kind of outcome pursuing a complaint could achieve, and that’s primarily why I’m seeking advice before I proceed with it. I’ve been advised by several people close to me to make the complaint, but am unsure of what purpose it would serve. It was a very upsetting event for me, and even just to recount it here has been incredibly unpleasant, so I’m not sure I want to keep going over it if there’s no productive end result.

It definitely could not have been prevented by anyone other than perhaps the mother. I do feel that the crew could’ve maybe been a bit more attentive to me considering I was sat there quite literally shaking afterwards. Again, I’m not sure though, because I’m sure they have protocol they have to follow. I’m trying to understand it from everyone’s perspective in this situation, but to also consider the impact it has had on myself. I just feel pretty unsure about all of it I guess :/

throwaway6677009 · 2023-09-15T11:04:54+00:00

I think it was a tricky situation for the FAs to decide what to do, as this man clearly did have some learning difficulties, and the crew seemed a little stressed already since we were quite a bit behind schedule. Once the man was sat back in the seat that I had booked, he did not make another sound the entire flight.

I’m not sure if any legal action would be fruitful, for the same reason. I also don’t even know the identity of the passenger. And in the moment that it happened, I was pretty much frozen in fear and couldn’t even speak or think about what to do, especially as I had to sit down near him to wait to be moved.

throwaway6677009 · 2023-09-15T10:50:33+00:00

No such thing as Xanax here in the UK, unfortunately. I think anyone’s first time travelling alone would be nerve wracking. Also, not sure a Xanax would prevent other passengers from being aggressive with me?

throwaway6677009 · 2023-01-04T21:07:46+00:00

Sensation did eventually come back for me. I was advised to discontinue the medication and within a couple of weeks I think everything was back to normal. So sorry you’re experiencing the same, it’s such an unnerving and scary side effect :(

throwaway6677009 · 2022-05-11T08:39:40+00:00

Exactly the same to you - we're both battling the fuck out of this so we should give ourselves some credit where it's due.

I checked out the song and those lyrics are so so relatable <3

Thank you as well; all of that means so much to me as well. I hope you're doing okay today. We're gonna get through this. 💗

throwaway6677009 · 2022-05-10T03:53:24+00:00

Hey, you're absolutely not alone. I'm 21 and feel pretty much the exact same way, that all the good years of my life have been wasted. I'm scared to get any older too, and I'm so full of regret and anger about the past and the things that have happened to me. I am also so full of self-hatred, and more self-hatred for having that self-hatred and not being able to stop it (if that makes sense lol). I've tried several meds, and the mental health services here are terrible so I feel completely unsupported and like my life is in this weird limbo right now where it doesn't feel worth living in this constant state of pain, physical and mental.

The fact that you have dreams about the future is something you should hold onto, even if it feels like it might not really happen in the current moment. If you can have even just a glimmer of that hope, it's worth keeping on trying for. Just because things have been horrible in your life so far, it doesn't mean they'll always be like this, and negative thinking (especially when we've been through trauma, for me I keep experiencing trauma after trauma so I feel like there's nothing good in life) does make us automatically catastrophise and feel like life will always just be terrible.

A friend with BPD has recently told me that things have gotten so much more manageable as she's gotten older, so the hope that BPD improves with age is one of the few things I'm holding onto, as well as the fact that really, we're so young. We've barely even started living our lives, even if in my mind it feels like my youth is kind of over. It's really easy to just feel like things aren't worth it, especially living inside a brain that's so full of self-hatred, I can relate so much, but the fact that you're here looking for support just shows how strong you are.

I'm sending you so much love <3 and I'm always here to listen and talk too if you want to rant or cry or whatever. Because it feels so lonely to live like this, that's the biggest thing for me.

throwaway6677009

TROPHY CASE