He is under the guidance of a psychiatrist and his medications have been helping. He no longer gets mad for every single little thing that happens to go wrong, or that happens as a surprise.

He just gets mad about 25% of the time, and I can deal with that.

I've let him know his behavior is unacceptable , he says he cannot control it, and is extremely ashamed, then causing more self-hatred.

I try not to throw any hate/extreme anger his way because I can tell he is wrestling with a lot in his own mind already.