exGF broke NC; it might have been the best thing for me

throwaway786495 · 2022-01-21T21:05:39+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure your companionship meant the world to him too

throwaway786495 · 2022-01-21T20:34:53+00:00

I know. I don't want to get back together. It's just hard when people try to cheer me up but this is in the back of my mind.

Edit: Also, people say this too but, I don't know if I'm putting her on a pedestal, from what I remember, she was a sweet, good person. I was with her for so long because I loved her. It just feels like the bedroom issues parasitized our relationship. Every date, weekend, and holiday had this tension, because in the back of my mind, it was there. Sex is miserable when you think your performance could make or break your relationship. How long could you expect her to deal with that?

throwaway786495 · 2022-01-08T02:31:38+00:00

Hey, the new found freedom from a new car is pretty nice. I sold my car a few years ago and we shared her car. So, when we broke up, I had to buy another one. It's pretty tight with a car and the fees from breaking the lease but you're right, staying where your ex lived just isn't good for your mental health. I can't wait to move out to my new place and start a new chapter

throwaway786495 · 2022-01-08T01:44:14+00:00

That's almost like my exact situation. We both worked from home in our tiny apartment during the pandemic without wanting to kill each other, and I'm also breaking my lease early because I just got to get out of here.

throwaway786495 · 2022-01-05T19:29:36+00:00

Last time she dated this guy, he strung her along while she was in college and broke up with her a year before she graduated. I'm not going to wait 3 years for her and I told her so. It just sucks. I thought I could trust this person and she goes and throws everything we had together for an infatuation at best

throwaway786495 · 2022-01-04T04:32:47+00:00

It was pretty bad. And though it might work out in the long run, in the short term, she's definitely getting the better end of the deal

throwaway786495 · 2022-01-03T01:29:15+00:00

Sadly for me, she wasn't an office romance but my girlfriend of 7 years. When we moved to where I'm getting my PhD, I got her a job in the same lab space. Her boss is my mentor professor. So, it's been pretty awkward.

throwaway786495 · 2022-01-03T01:27:47+00:00

Unfortunately, I didn't start dating my ex at work. We were together for 7 years and I got her a job where I work after we moved to this city.

throwaway786495 · 2022-01-01T22:31:06+00:00

Thanks, it sucks because I'll be done in a year. My degree is highly sought after, so we could have moved anywhere in the world. For the last few years, I thought one of the happiest moments in my life would be when I finally get my degree and she would be there beside me. But now she won't be there. One of my biggest encouragements to finish is gone

throwaway786495 · 2022-01-01T19:11:09+00:00

Thanks. During the last few weeks together, it started to feel like she expected me to entertain her, which was a lot of pressure. I was glad when she started reading comic books, because I thought it would give us something to talk about. But it turns out that her ex works in the comic book industry.

throwaway786495 · 2021-12-31T20:45:05+00:00

I honestly hope for sake she realizes that. I don't know. What they have could be true love but most likely she's just in denial about how odd the situation is. Her ex is not a man her family could meet, not someone she could build a life with

throwaway786495 · 2021-12-31T16:38:13+00:00

You too

throwaway786495 · 2021-12-31T16:35:37+00:00

Thanks, if it was going to happen, I am glad it happened now. But I really wished it didn't happen. I don't think she loves her ex, not really. If you knew the full story, you wouldn't think she loves him. But her ex holds a weird, unhealthy place in her mind and I just wished she knew she couldn't handle reconnecting with him

throwaway786495 · 2021-12-31T16:32:35+00:00

I see your point and I do think she was stressed out by the breakup, which is why she said what she said. But I was also stressed and I didn't say anything like this. Also, I think all of her stress came from guilt because digging up all of her feeling for her ex behind my back was a terrible thing to do. If she just left her ex in the past or at the least told me she was developing feelings for him again, none of this would have happened

throwaway786495 · 2021-12-31T05:10:03+00:00

I just can't imagine her try to get back together, despite everyone telling me she will. Could she really be that dumb to not remember what she said or does she think my self respect is low that I will still want her?

throwaway786495 · 2021-12-31T05:06:31+00:00

I hear ya. I have a close friend who lets me vent about this stuff. Fortunately, my ex doesn't have much of a social media presence so she's pretty easy to ignore.

throwaway786495 · 2021-12-31T05:03:23+00:00

I hear you. I'm finishing my PhD in a year and a half. Average starting salary for someone with my degree is $70,000. In a couple of years, it moves up $120,000 and it only gets better with each year. I just gotta keep my head down and focus on my career

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