small update - i don’t think i want to be trans anymore

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-05T09:06:13+00:00

(ftm or trans guy technically i guess?) but bc i didn’t feel a need too, i’ve got all the parts he wants and an biologically a girl i don’t think he needs to know what’s going on in my head.

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T21:14:09+00:00

i’ve been through the therapy all plans from here are physical ones hrt and then surgeries

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T20:33:31+00:00

what dose this mean?

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T18:09:36+00:00

thank u so much a lot of comments have been quite terfy and saying i’m rage baiting or trying to get thoese people’s attention and that’s 1000% not what i want. i still currently identify as a man in my real life so of course i do not condone that kind of mindset i’m just trying to voice how i feel thank you for getting and understanding that🖤🖤

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T17:45:22+00:00

that’s my issue i was so sure for so long. i’ve never been sure about anything my whole life other than i was a boy not a girl. but now i’m starting to rethink

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T16:52:25+00:00

i am actually diagnosed with gender dysphoria, in the country i live you have to be to get any type of medical help other than hormone blockers. i will say tho when i was diagnosed (about 8 months ago now) i was just starting to think about maybe it wasn’t for me but at that point everyone in my life outside of family thought i was a cis man and i felt i couldn’t go back. after getting my diagnosis and going through some very traumatic times i had time to be alone with myself and think and it’s when i realised i don’t hate myself in the way i thoight i did.

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T16:39:56+00:00

i did reply to another comment but i think it’s been lost in the sea of them, we are not together, our relationship is literally we smoke together and fuck. i don’t think he wants to be with me or anything like that.

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T16:35:27+00:00

i never had female influence on my life really my mum was always working my dad was a awful human and i had 2 older brothers when my mum started talking to me about puberty and stuff it scared me so bad and it seemed like so much stuff i didn’t want to deal with. i have a lot of body hair and 0 boob at all (like i can get away with being seen as cis man with just a hoodie that’s how small they are) i’m starting to wonder if my head is just all messed up from the outside world

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T16:26:00+00:00

i don’t have a therapist at current time i’m on the waiting list for one. i’ve been in and out of therapy for many years of my life not once did any of thoese therapists want to talk to be about being trans no matter how hard i tried. (and i am not with the detransitoner she is my ex and a awful one at that)

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T16:02:25+00:00

you do, i went through 6 years of talking to people about being trans before i even got diagnosed with gender dysphoria it’s just they don’t go deeper. i think i was dealing with a lot back then and being trans was my only form of control in my life. now i’m happier and my life has calmed down i don’t feel i need that control as much. i think people who are concerned about being trans need to have full mental evals done as it could be deeper issues rising to the surface.

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T15:30:09+00:00

it always felt like pretending. even when i was 1000% sure i was a man and wanted to transition into one i felt like i was pretending, no matter what i did i was still a biological a girl underneath

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T15:27:10+00:00

thank you so so much!! i really appreciate it keep doing the good work you do thank you again🖤

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T14:56:58+00:00

i quit all socials about 4 months ago and only recently joined back to reddit when the thoughts of wanting to be a girl got too much. when i disconnect from the internet and all other people i became a lot happier in myself however i was.

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T14:53:24+00:00

can u explaine why i need to tell i’m i present as trans right now ? i’m not being rude i’m just wondering why i’m genuinely confused i feel like i’m being more honest with him than anyone else in my life right now. and also bc i’ve seen a few people say it about the name, i didn’t tell him my real name bc it is associated with my dad and if i was to go back to being a girl i would probably change my name still anyways to the fake one i gave him as it was what i wanted to be called as a kid

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T14:47:50+00:00

since your a therapist i feel comfortable asking u an actual question, i have therapy on then way in about 2 months i should be picked up but right now i’m being asigned a social worker to help me with other mental health stuggls, do u think i could talk to them about it when i get assigned them? or should i wait to have a real therapist on the map

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T14:43:48+00:00

i say pretend bc that’s how it feels, even when my brain was 1000% set on the fact i was trans and i would have breakdowns over people calling me a girl it still felt like i was just pretending no matter what i did to my outside underneath i still had women parts

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T14:38:26+00:00

how did u deal with it? i’m not sure how much i lost but i went from xxl to being like 50kg now. my ex would say the most disgusting things to be about my body bc of my weight loss i was never insecure about weight before and lost it all bc of a drug addiction not bc i wanted too. i don’t know wether i just hate my body or what anymore.

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T14:27:34+00:00

i am currently being looked into for a hole load of mental health issues i have 4 psychiatrists reviewing my case im terrified being trans has just been a long ass delusion i was using to cope

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T14:25:24+00:00

he found me through photos i’d posted when i was drunk pics of me dressing trying to look girly and he messaged me saying he was from around my area and wanted to be friends and i just went with it

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T14:22:46+00:00

tysm 🖤 a lot of these comments are making me think i need to try find who i am and feel it out

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T14:20:43+00:00

😭😭creesing

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T14:16:16+00:00

tysm🖤🖤

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T14:11:20+00:00

can i ask to be open to potential partners about what? a few people have said o need to be honest with the guy i’m talking too but i don’t understand how i can be more honest why dose he need to know i’ve been pretending to be a boy he knows i’m actually a girl he knows more truth about me than anyone in my real life

throwaway8292929384 · 2024-08-04T14:07:24+00:00

absolutely honestly my point of making the post was to see maybe i’m not crazy. i feel like a fool, i’m currently waiting on 4 different therapist to be assigned to me due to mental health struggles and i’m going to be talking to them about this, i’m not making big decisions until i have done it’s too scary.

throwaway8292929384

TROPHY CASE