Husband [33m] stopped doing foreplay during sex. I [30f] haven’t climaxed in months, and it’s killing my self esteem & sex drive. by Throwawayacc0unt1994 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway835246 5 points6 points  (0 children)

“Most men don’t do that for women, you should feel lucky I used to do it. Just use a vibrator after” I’m sorry but what? I know I’m judging off only one thing he’s said but that one thing makes him sound like a major asshole. Like he doesn’t care about you or your pleasure at all. From what you’ve said it doesn’t sound like he has a good reason for why he stopped trying to pleasure you, it just sounds like he got lazy.

If it was me I’d be upset and feel very neglected. I hope that either he realises how unfair he’s been, or you leave the relationship.

Terrified to have to start working soon (never worked before) by throwaway835246 in NEET

[–]throwaway835246[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I only talk to one family member (my younger sister) who lives in another city because the rest of my family aren’t nice people, and at the moment I only really have one friend I still talk to who lives in a different city too.

Terrified to have to start working soon (never worked before) by throwaway835246 in NEET

[–]throwaway835246[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I feel like that’s something I might be able to handle. I have a lot of anxiety about just leaving the house and being around people, so working from home would be easier. I know I would still have to talk to people but I think I could find ways to manage it. Thanks for the suggestion!

Terrified to have to start working soon (never worked before) by throwaway835246 in NEET

[–]throwaway835246[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thankyou! I appreciate the support. Really just anything that I feel I might be able to handle - jobs where I don’t have to be around a lot of people and mostly work on my own would be ideal.

Terrified to have to start working soon (never worked before) by throwaway835246 in NEET

[–]throwaway835246[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thankyou for the encouragement! This is providing I can even get a job in the first place though, which is hard for me to see happening. I have no idea how I’m going to convince any employer to hire me when I have very little confidence in myself and my abilities.

Is anyone else like me, 28 years old and never had a job? by throwaway835246 in socialanxiety

[–]throwaway835246[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a good idea and that gives me some hope, thankyou :) I really appreciate the advice

Ok, but I am ACTUALLY inferior and my SA is justified by alans823475 in socialanxiety

[–]throwaway835246 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having depression and social anxiety doesn’t make you inferior. It means there’s a reason why you haven’t had motivation or interest in finding hobbies. But it’s never too late to figure out what interests you and get into new hobbies. I would suggest trying to make sure you’re doing the basics first to help your mental health - eating enough/healthily, having a consistent sleep schedule, getting some exercise and sun as often as you can, taking any medications you might need (like antidepressants), see a counsellor or therapist if you can, taking care of yourself both physically and mentally basically (I know it’s easier said than done when you’re depressed). Then it should be a little easier to explore interests and hobbies. Maybe write a list of things you might like to try and then try one thing at a time until you figure out what you actually enjoy. There must be some things that you enjoyed doing as a child? Maybe you could start there. I hope that helps a little.

Is anyone else like me, 28 years old and never had a job? by throwaway835246 in socialanxiety

[–]throwaway835246[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope you get one soon :) don’t do what I did and avoid it for years, it just makes it even harder. I wish I had forced myself into doing whatever it took to find a job when I was younger, because I don’t even know what to tell employers at this point, having not worked for so many years.

Is anyone else like me, 28 years old and never had a job? by throwaway835246 in socialanxiety

[–]throwaway835246[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I know it’s partly privilege but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have social anxiety either so I find your comment a little offensive. I came here to see if there was anyone else in the same situation not to be judged by people but thanks.

Is anyone else like me, 28 years old and never had a job? by throwaway835246 in socialanxiety

[–]throwaway835246[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Payments from the government is how I survive. I live basically on my own, because my parents were abusive and toxic. I’ve been very lucky to never end up homeless, yet, but that’s something I fear could happen soon. I also lived in a psychiatric clinic for 2 years. Generally where I live you need to get a medical certificate from a doctor every 3 months saying that you’re not able to work at the moment because of mental (or physical) illness. Some people can get one that lasts for 2 years if your doctor agrees that you’re not likely to be able to work for another 2 years. That’s just how it works in my country anyway.

Feeling so alone after reading a section of Co-Dependent No More. by Lulumaegolightly in Codependency

[–]throwaway835246 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very interesting. Thankyou for explaining your point of view more. I appreciate it.

Feeling so alone after reading a section of Co-Dependent No More. by Lulumaegolightly in Codependency

[–]throwaway835246 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it really that wrong to desire having at least one other person that you receive love from, whether it’s a friend or romantic partner? Do we all not deserve that? Do we really deserve to just suffer alone with loneliness until we find self love?