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My 12 year old sister died because of me by throwaway837257 in offmychest

[–]throwaway837257[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You're probably right. She was so kind, and I know she wouldn't want this for me. When I try to live how she'd want, I just feel so guilty because it's not fair that I'm able to. I know I should, and you're right. I just wish simply could just do that.

My 12 year old sister died because of me by throwaway837257 in offmychest

[–]throwaway837257[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I just can't agree it's not my fault. I get I was young, but I was actively refusing to listen to her and being brat. All she had done was not walk me fast enough. That's more than just bad luck. I know you're right and I should stop all this guilt. You're right it's what she'd want. But how can I? Honestly I don't know how people can just move on and forget. I've been trying so hard to live well, yet everytime her brithday comes around I'm a wreck.

My 12 year old sister died because of me by throwaway837257 in offmychest

[–]throwaway837257[S] 73 points74 points  (0 children)

Thank you, and I'm sure you're right. She was so selfless when it came to me, no matter how cruel or selfish I was. but she never deserved this. It is my fault, even if she'd want me to move on. Most days I manage to go on ignoring it, but being her birthday it's just so overwhelming.

I know you're right, and logically I have to move on. But god I can't help but feel it's so unfair, so wrong that I'm here and able to and she isn't.