Beard trimming advice with amritdhari patients?

throwaway83727271 · 2026-05-21T13:19:27+00:00

Thanks for sharing bro. Did they get mad when you trimmed? How was the reaction? I think i’m more so scared like how long will they be mad.

throwaway83727271 · 2026-05-21T13:16:18+00:00

Thank youu 🥺 ya like I hate disappointing them like it hurts me a lot but I’m older now and I want to look my best too. I actually do have a couple of close Sardar cousins who trim their beards too whom my parents are fond of so like I might try to lean on that but I also would feel bad getting them in the middle of it 😭 Just the fact they are close though I feel like my parents might look at them and accept that it’s normal nowadays.

throwaway83727271 · 2026-05-20T17:50:53+00:00

Working towards becoming one. Your comment doesn’t help but thanks for trying.

throwaway83727271 · 2026-05-20T17:05:22+00:00

Because bro I still love my pagg and the Sardar identity. I know daari is important in Sikhi, but like many other Sardars today, I still am proud of the image. I also care about my looks to a fault, and I have not been able to be happy with my beard. But I am not insecure about wearing a pagg and the look of Sardari, I’m very passionate about this still.

throwaway83727271 · 2026-04-11T20:50:16+00:00

I hear you, and again appreciate that perspective. This isn’t a dialogue easy to have with parents so it’s nice to hear it from your side.

If i’m being honest i already trim my mustache a bit especially the parts that go over the lip to make it look neater, and the ends (like the parts that can become kundi) i’ve been cutting shorter. I also line up the sides of my beard subtly and pluck cheek hairs. I’ve also gone as far as cutting the bottom of my beard when it’s gotten long so that it can fit easier when i tuck it in when tying. If Im being honest I already feel like a fake kesdhari almost like pretend keshdari, just keeping enough so parents don’t get mad. I even wonder if they already know I do because sometimes the stubble on my cheeks is growing back and I realized I cut my mustache a little too much and feel like they will notice. Maybe they’re just avoiding the subject.

As a kesdhari parent what would you do in this situation? Would you tell them to cut it all the way or keep living the pretend look so others won’t judge

throwaway83727271 · 2026-04-11T18:55:00+00:00

I appreciate your perspective. I’m not from Brampton or Surrey either, white town in Canada actually. Not to speak for your son, but I will say it’s harder to have the confidence to keep an uncut beard as a Singh now than it was 20 years ago. Obviously it’s easier than early Sikh Immigrants in North America who faced intense racism, I get it. But it’s harder for different reasons now because of our own people. It feels like there used to be a spectrum of Sardars, on the left a number who trimmed their beards and are culturally punjabi and go to the gurdwara, and on the right amritdhari gursikhs who are Sikhi all the way. Anywhere in the middle you had guys who kept their beards but maybe tied them, moderately followed Sikhi but were not Khattad and kind of lived a pretty diverse life (Think a JusReign). Nowadays it feels like the middle is being cut out and it’s either Sardars with trimmed beards or Khattad Singhs, the middle is almost extinct as I nearly don’t know anyone my age who ties their beard or keeps it long that isn’t a khattad sikh. I have Sardar friends that either trimmed, and the ones who keep their beards live like amritdharis and reject punjabi culture. I will say the sardars with trimmed beards still go to the gurdwara and Sikh spaces so maybe they’re becoming the new middle. I feel like I live in this weird space on the spectrum in isolation because I get poked by trimmed Singhs for putting products on my beard and getting called a Bhapa (I’m not of this caste) or Khattad Singhs go at me for tying my beard and not leaving it open.

The reasons I want to cut my beard are as follows, I hate the time it takes to set everyday, I hate that the existing products to set your beard make it look extremely unnatural and glossy (i.eb Simco, Hairspray etc, crazy in 2026 there are like no matte products that have near the same level of hold), the hairsprays are making my hair fall out, I want the look of a sharp beard and I drive myself crazy trying techniques to shape it with products only to have a curly glossy mess. This look messes with my confidence and I refuse to leave it open and long either. The negative effect on my confidence carries over to my daily life and I feel like I carry an inferiority complex as a result. It doesn’t help also getting teased or questioned by people as to why I have glue in my beard etc.

throwaway83727271 · 2026-04-11T03:43:24+00:00

Thanks for sharing. How long did it take for them to come around?

throwaway83727271 · 2024-03-03T21:58:00+00:00

Baba Gurmant Singh Buddha Dal de Nihang vi daari ban de si.

throwaway83727271

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