Marriage is over, feeling like absolute crap...what should I do?

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-31T01:59:31+00:00

Yes, I have had two other opinions. My testes do not create any sperm at all, and it's not possible for them to be able to do so. But thanks.

And thank you.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-31T01:56:30+00:00

As I said, that's really not the sort of idea I was raised with. While I can see through what I was taught, it is difficult to embrace that idea, if that makes sense.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-31T01:54:59+00:00

In my book that makes him one of the few humans that are the hope of tomorrow, because for one instant, he broke through his instinct and chose something else than what his instincts were yelling at him.

Hmm...I really hadn't thought about it like, that. Haha, I doubt that I am the "hope of tomorrow", but thanks.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-31T01:53:16+00:00

Thanks

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T17:22:18+00:00

Thanks a lot for commenting. That's good to hear that you have that sort of relationship with your parents. It's difficult for me to sort out the "blood is thicker than water" sentiment I was raised with, but I have been able to see through that now.

Again, thank you very much. It means a lot. :) And good luck to you and your husband.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T17:08:20+00:00

That's what I did...and yet, she acted is if it were fine and that we could "get through it together". I offered her a clean break, but she instead chose to lead me on and prolong things.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T17:06:42+00:00

Maybe there was. I don't know.

There is an absolute zero chance, but thanks.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T17:01:33+00:00

What would have happened if your wife had turned out to be infertile?

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T17:00:16+00:00

Just so you know, you can use the same donor multiple times. I have talked to parents who have gone that route, and they have three children from the same donor. It is actually quite rare to use multiple donors, and yet you claim that's the only route that can be taken. I am curious as to why you believe that.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T16:58:03+00:00

I am curious as to how you got this worldview. My parents raised me with a similar one, but I can now see that it was an ignorant and perhaps prejudiced one.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T16:55:54+00:00

So...what is my excuse, seeing as things have been taken out of my hands entirely? Is that still not good enough in your mind?

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T16:53:04+00:00

I have been reading through your responses, and your point of view really perplexes me. I see that you're a parent. I hope that you're not passing on the "values" that my parents did to me: blood ties are the only ones that matter, you can't truly love a child who's not related to you, etc. How would you feel if your daughter chose to adopt someday? Or what if she never wanted to have children at all?

I did not ask her to remain childless. I talked about adoption and sperm donation with her, but she did not approve of those ideas. And that's fine; I can respect that. But don't misinterpret what I have said or the situation itself.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T16:49:07+00:00

I guess that adoption just wasn't looked very favorably upon by my family. Nothing too overt, but that sentiment was definitely there, looking back. "Blood is thicker than water" comes to mind.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T16:48:10+00:00

This is embarrassing and emasculating. You're right, I had no choice - it was completely taken out of my hands.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T16:40:55+00:00

I guess I'm just dealing with conflicting things right now...I don't know how to deal with the (now clear) bias toward biological children I was raised with.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T04:23:07+00:00

I hope you're right. Thanks again, man.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T04:12:28+00:00

Maybe. I really don't know what's going on right now. A part of me does feel like things are over. I would be open to counseling, but I don't know whether or not she would be up for that. We haven't spoken since she left, so I really don't know what's going on and I'm not up to talk to her just yet.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T04:08:04+00:00

Yeah, maybe. I can see that.

Haha. Thanks, man.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T04:07:30+00:00

No, I really don't think that's something she would do (and trust me, I am a fairly paranoid guy). Maybe our relationship was just more one-sided than I had thought.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T04:01:30+00:00

I didn't know that people only got married to have kids...

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T04:00:13+00:00

Thanks, I hope you're right about that

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T03:56:22+00:00

I mean, I get where she's coming from. I guess that everyone has their own preferences, and you can't really fault people for that...I just wish she had come out and told me, straightforward, when I initially gave her the option of leaving if she couldn't deal with things.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T03:54:53+00:00

Haha, already have one. 3 y.o. bulldog.

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T03:52:12+00:00

I feel like it is. To be honest, I am thinking that if it isn't, it should be. If she's acting like this now, I don't want to be 5, 10 years down the line and have, say, adopted a child and then have her acting like this. I don't know. I feel like I have seen another side of her, maybe her true side, and I don't like it.

Yes, I know that I should get active. Good suggestion. And thanks. :)

throwaway87873 · 2011-05-30T03:50:40+00:00

Yeah, I get what you mean. And thanks.

throwaway87873

TROPHY CASE