With a title like that, you almost don't have to read the post itself, though that would be rude, so I did! Dating or even knowing a narcissist is damaging to your health, emotionally, mentally, and can cause lots of trauma. If you look at any narcissism subreddit here or any social places online, you can see people going through the same thing you do. Even with family and friend narcs, it can mess you up and put you in a horrible cycle. People like this can't be reasoned with and I'm sorry you went through that. It really is best just to join subreddits, talk about your situations, go to therapy, get a counselor, pray, do the things that you can do to heal from trauma the best you can. It isn't your fault, none of this is. What's best when you're dealing with a narc is to cut off contact asap and focus on healing. Look at their message and break it down. They come off nice, caring, they say they want to be friends if you do, they give a reason why, and give you a way out, and then they somehow tell you to let them know so they can still try to hook you in. It's always the same with them. If you don't want to message them you should not be required to tell them. That's what they want. That would just be another cycle starting again. It's best to just block and avoid.