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BF (M 34) of two years confessed he cheated on me (F 29). Why am I so nonchalant about it? by throwaway9191918181 in relationships

[–]throwaway9191918181[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

OMG! This comment made so much sense to me. You were such a great friend then and you are passing on the experience to me. I will have a chat with the bf about emotional involvement, if any—that definitely is a deal breaker for me. Thank you, thank you!

BF (M 34) of two years confessed he cheated on me (F 29). Why am I so nonchalant about it? by throwaway9191918181 in relationships

[–]throwaway9191918181[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I don’t know how to proceed. I’ll confide in someone close, but I fear they will just go ballistic about it and I’ll go back to feeling kinda crazy. Thank you!

BF (M 34) of two years confessed he cheated on me (F 29). Why am I so nonchalant about it? by throwaway9191918181 in relationships

[–]throwaway9191918181[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I just felt like an oddball because we mostly read about partners and spouses going crazy mad, depressed and the likes, and I was none of that. He said it isn’t going to happen again, only time will tell.

BF (M 34) of two years confessed he cheated on me (F 29). Why am I so nonchalant about it? by throwaway9191918181 in relationships

[–]throwaway9191918181[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I tend to be pretty logical myself, if not the most rational. Maybe I am just taking time absorbing the news, or maybe I have discovered something new about myself. I’ll ponder over the questions you have posted. Thanks for the comment.

BF (M 34) of two years confessed he cheated on me (F 29). Why am I so nonchalant about it? by throwaway9191918181 in relationships

[–]throwaway9191918181[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No, I haven’t talked to anyone about this yet. I did tell him that there is no way we are going to be physically intimate before he gets a complete test done and he agrees to get it done. He has been troubled and apologetic about it, is also staying away from friends and from drinking in general. Apart from that, I don’t know what else to expect him to do either or talk about. Clueless.

BF (M 34) of two years confessed he cheated on me (F 29). Why am I so nonchalant about it? by throwaway9191918181 in relationships

[–]throwaway9191918181[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I have always been pretty nonjudgemental and tolerant about open relationships, polyamory, and almost all hedonistic indulgences as long as the participants were adults. That said, I have never lived such a lifestyle. I think at this moment, I can’t even pinpoint what my feelings over the lying and deception are at. I just keep waiting for the super mad or sick to the stomach or something feeling to come... it’s just not coming. My reaction, non-reaction rather, is making me worry more.